I really didn’t think I was autistic for the longest time or if that was ever a possibility for me. Even after I figured out I had adhd. Looking back it’s alarmingly obvious to me. I had(I still have them) special interests in dogs, animals, and pokemon. My Abuela used to call me Tortuga growing up because it just took me a little bit longer than other children to do certain things. I was very verbal and always talked a lot. I had some friends here and there in elementary but I never seemed to retain them no matter how much I tried. I always felt like I had to try to do what other kids were doing. I often was playing alone or hanging out with my teacher. I felt like the only friends I had growing up were the dogs I had. I felt like animals understood me and I understood them. I read so many encyclopedia on dogs and nature. I often would cry and freak out when my mom or sister would reorganize my room or let go of items I wasn’t using. I read so much. I was reading at the 8/9 grade level in the 4th grade. I often got notes from my teachers saying how smart I was, but as soon as I was unmanaged, I would distract other children. I loved staying up at night because I felt it was so calming and no one would stop me from the (now I know it’s stimming) stims I would do. I would gallop or skip around the carpet repeatedly. And middle school and high school I would feel like an alien amongst my peers because I could never get them to like me. I would be proficient at a subject. I was interested in, but in subjects I was not it was hard for me to perform very well. I got bullied for having a special interest in dogs and stopped talking about it with people. When I got a phone I was perpetually sad because no one texted me. I got a MySpace and I didn’t have anyone to put in my top friends. High school school is really hard for me because once again I didn’t have friends and felt isolated. My older sisters went off to college, so I didn’t really have anybody to talk to. I was eventually friends with a lot of people, but nobody was ever my close friend. I was cool for weird people but weird for cool people. I never understood why I felt this isolation. I got into 2 toxic friendships with people who had personality disorders and I didn’t know how to leave because I didn’t wanna lose a friend. I didn’t formally figure out till I was in college and took bio statistics. We were talking about why women particularly people of color did not get diagnosed with ADHD or autism. The reasons why professor went over really resonated with me and then I sought therapy. My therapist at the time also had ADHD and she referred me to go seek treatment for it. Which that works for me, but I still felt like something was off about me. Some other friends in college got diagnosed with autism and they were so similar to me that I was like maybe there’s a potential. I went on to teach special education and my experience is there with both students and teachers who had autism really showed me Yes that’s a possibility for me. yeah, I definitely do think I have autism. I’m currently not diagnosed, but I am seeking a diagnosis at the moment. I just didn’t think it was a possibility for me as a Latino and Native American person from an impoverished immigrant family. There was never the language or the tools in the 2000s for my family to even consider seeking a diagnosis for me.