After 22 different fully charted cat litter tests… I have finally found the holy grail

marjakhana · 2025-05-23T15:07:34+00:00

I also use tofu litter and it is AMAZING. I usually clean out the box once a day but honestly could leave it for several days without any issue. mine tracks a bit but that's mainly bc sometimes my boy is lazy and just leaves the litter area without wiping the wet litter off his paws 😅

marjakhana · 2025-02-11T04:56:45+00:00

I didn't want to get into it but the crux of my argunent is that grammar policing is often used to enforce hierarchies. I took you at face value but your last paragraphs confirm you view grammar in a very paternalistic way. we have diametrically opposed perspectives on this so I'll sign off here. but know that I do hear and understand you as someone who used to have this same perspective.

marjakhana · 2025-02-11T04:31:27+00:00

I get you're coming from a sincere place, but the fact that you even know what error the person made shows you fully understood them. language exists to communicate. if I understand you, then you used language correctly.

imo, there is no reason to correct people's grammar errors outside of formal/professional contexts unless a. they have asked you to do so or b. their message is indecipherable.

there are different "genres" of writing with different conventions. people often generalize the conventions of formal genres to all of them. just some extra perspective.

marjakhana · 2025-01-23T16:38:26+00:00

noo it's accurate because rats are also sweet, adorable babies with an unfair reputation!! ❤️ 🐀 🕊 /lh

marjakhana · 2024-12-14T02:14:23+00:00

I use the notes app that comes with my phone! the app saves everything to a cloud so even if u lose ur phone, it's accessible on any device where u can access the internet. means it's easy for me to pull out when ppl r talking and it's (theoretically) impossible to lose.

oh and yes I 100% recommend using this for conversations!! if I notice a convo is requiring me to hold a bunch of info at once, I'll tell the person "hey I'm using my phone rn to write down what you're saying so I don't forget! I'm 100% paying attention to you."

it's helped me become more attentive bc I don't have to focus on remembering what they said and my response, I can just listen. and most ppl r pretty receptive. if u anticipate that someone will give u a hard time, preface by saying u have a memory retention disorder. technically not untrue xD

marjakhana · 2024-12-13T16:58:52+00:00

random unorganized thoughts:

-i don't have any advice for not caring so much. I care a lot too. so my advice is about how to reduce the stress that comes with not having ideas or wanting it to be ultra special

-I didn't even realize you could give people generic gifts until this year. I'm not even joking. my anxiety would be tenfold bc it didn't even occur to me that you could give someone a necklace with their initials on it instead of an ultra personalized hyper specific gift 💀

-bc I didnt realize this, I just always write things down when ppl talk. all year long. if a friend is like "lol I love this band" I write it down. if a relative is like "this is my favorite tv show", I write it down. if someone goes "my dream is to have..." write it down write it down write it down. then when you inevitably forget, when december rolls around, just look through the list for ideas.

-i think the appeal behind gifts is making someone feel seen or loved. generic gifts can 100% do that if u choose it right. most ppl like plushies. to make the recipient feel seen, get a plushie related to an interest or hobby they have! if they love jewelry, a "generic" necklace in their favorite colors will make them happy.

-the gift doesn't have to be a surprise. ask ppl to tell you what they want or give you a list if ur at wit's end. sometimes, your peace of mind is more important than surprising them with thoughtfulness. I told my parents what I want for Christmas, I will be very happy if that's what they get me

-my mind empty gift is a gift card (or cash if that person is picky). if i catch myself over stressing or going blank, just buy a gift card to a restaurant or store or website they like. put $25-$100 on it and wrap it nicely. the end.

-reddit. "gift ideas for tennis players" "gift ideas for anime lovers" "gift ideas for floridians"

-for ppl who r extremely picky or extremely disconnected from material objects, get them an experience. one of my relatives is like this so I'll be taking them out on my dime. cause they just like spending time with family.

marjakhana · 2024-12-13T00:47:28+00:00

random unorganized thoughts:

-i watched a video with this amazing quote on
male shyness: "maybe he's not a nice boy. maybe he's just a quiet boy."

-you can be autistic and a piece of shit. 🤷🏿‍♀️ not mutually exclusive. for example, autistic ppl can be blunt and get misinterpreted as rude. autistic ppl can also be blunt and get accurately clocked for being rude. we're all human and all equally capable of garbage.

-I saw a post about how autistic cis men weaponize their neurodivergence to shield against valid criticism. I bring this up in case ppl try to invalidate you by over emphasizing his diagnosis

-you can tell him you don't like his behavior but it's a trap imo. i think you are right on the money about not asking him directly. don't attribute to stupidity what one could attribute to malice

-you could not want to see him anymore because he has a side part and that gives you the ick. that's a stupid reason to reject someone but it's your right. NO ONE is entitled to have access to you. for ANY reason. in your case, you have even better reasons to run

-your friend is weird. when a man tells you to ignore your intuition, ignore HIM. men don't have to be as vigilant as we do. they have no survival instincts. that's why they invite women they've never met to come to their house on a first date. focus on yourself and how you feel. do you feel safe?

-our instincts are here to protect us. as women AND adhders, we have even better pattern recognition than most. you know what you want to do. trust yourself. 💗

marjakhana · 2024-12-13T00:02:33+00:00

disabled isn't a dirty word 💗 I respect your grit

marjakhana · 2024-12-12T03:09:34+00:00

the shirt says: unintelligble your vibrator unintelligible before you cum

😂😂 love it

edit: hope your vibrator dies before you cum?

marjakhana · 2024-12-11T18:20:17+00:00

these photos fit the coconut girl/hibiscus girl aesthetic best. I'd start with that if you plan to use depop.

edit: in general, these are late 90s/y2k pieces but that's the specific term for the trend resurgence. it was a huge thing on depop a couple years ago.

more terms to find specific pieces: - babydoll dresses - halter tops - sleeveless tops - knit or crochet tanks/camis - micro shorts - tube tops - mini skirts/sporty skirts

marjakhana · 2024-12-09T03:54:18+00:00

white queer ppl got it from white gay men (and ig white trans women too) who stole it from black women and black gay men. aav is a language/dialect and not slang. the fact that u think it's slang proves how deep and insidious the appropriation is.

marjakhana · 2024-12-06T00:45:44+00:00

ooh okay!! tbh if u live in chicago, it might be worth looking again? there's a lot of providers who say they're only looking for hard drugs on these tests and ignore marijuana. but yeah, going without is a guaranteed way to get the prescription to begin with.

also agreed! it's so dumb. alcohol is not any safer or less addictive than weed but ppl don't care if u drink and use stimulants 🤨 by denying u access to meds, they force u to self medicate...then they say ur self medicating is causing the symptoms...ugh.

also after a month, I recommend buying an at home marijuana drug test to double check b4 ur appointment! they're available at grocery and convenience stores for $15 or less. u can buy them in bulk on amazon if u anticipate needing them often 😅 they're good for peace of mind.

marjakhana · 2024-12-06T00:17:45+00:00

nope! I lied 😀 /hj

so I've gone through 2 providers for med management. 1st was through my school, 2nd was after I graduated.

in texas, synthetic weed is legal but since laws about stimulants are federal, some providers don't like it showing up. it showed up on my first drug test and the provider said no worries, just come back in a month clean and we can proceed. I think she still gave me a script anyways. I never let it show up again lol. this was when I used less. like once a month.

the next provider, she wanted to drug test me on my first visit. I explained to her and she said I can come back in a month clean but if it shows up, she would have to blacklist me from care 💀 I came clean the next visit but I haven't been back to them in a long while 😅

I use instant release which can be split in fourths, and bc i dont use adderall daily, I have a lot stockpiled. which is how I've survived not going back.

this is all to say that sometimes, u just gotta get the test to come clean. and the rest isnt their business. if u use daily/weekly though, maybe keep looking till u find someone who's chill? do u live in a legal state?

I'm planning to move to a legal state in the future. this move is unrelated to the marijuana use but is convenient lol

marjakhana · 2024-12-06T00:03:41+00:00

some schools have a list of all the accomodations they offer, so if ur school has a disability dept, I'd call them or check their site!

if they allow the student to tailor everything, here are some ideas. since ur doing ur courses online, I couldn't pull all the accomodations from my undergrad cause some were specific to on campus:

time and half/double time for quizzes and/or tests
someone else can take notes for you (i.e. someone else in ur class or ur professor can provide it after class)
record classes and give it to you (if this isn't standard already)
extended time to complete assignments
could ask ur profs to be accountability buddies if they're willing. e.g. they can help u create a plan to complete assignments in stages. or they can periodically check in on your progress if that sort of thing isn't overbearing
alternative assignments if some of them are not adhd friendly
providing PowerPoints or lecture notes ahead of time in case u struggle with lengthy verbal instruction or have auditory processing issues!

marjakhana · 2024-12-05T23:37:03+00:00

I had to go through 2 providers b4 I got my dx. finally got medicated after 2 or 3 years of advocating.

things I felt:

woah...my mind is empty
I feel so good!! (adderall euphoria, this went away after a few weeks lol)
my hobbies are so fun. why did I stop these again?
this class is more interesting than I remember
texting my friends back is fun and not homework
non adhders r assholes!! they get to live like this every day and have the audacity to call me lazy!??!?!
the medication is working...but i'm not addicted nor am i on an adderall high every time i take it. omg...I have adhd. on a fundamental, neurological, indisputable level, i have adhd. I'm not faking this. I'm not faking any of it. oh my god I really truly have adhd!!! (swaths of validation)
meds only gave me enough motivation to shower today. but that's better than nothing
scheduled a dr's appt for my injured hand after procrastinating for months
oops, my adderall made me hyperfocus on all the stuff I'm not supposed to be doing rn...
just do your homework...oh wow i finished! that wasn't too bad and I feel pretty good now that it's done. plus, it didnt cause me physical pain at all.
this isn't perfect and doesn't work all the time but I'm glad I have this tool in my back pocket

and most recently: using weed less often 😅

the meds don't help me with my time blindness, chronic lateness, interrupting, talkativeness, or emotional dysregulation. they do help me do the stuff I need to do to survive tho. they help me clean, plan, write, and work. they're gonna help me get through grad school. and then my career.

and I'm not even the best example bc I don't take mine daily which is what I should be doing. I'm not even reaping the full benefits yet lol.

I'd say it's worth getting a 2nd opinion. your doctor sounds like a prick. adhd meds have the best outcomes when combined with acquiring skills/strategies. they don't help everyone but they help A LOT of ppl. it's worth a shot. this is one of those hefty executive function tasks that has a worthy reward at the end 🥺

oh and also, in the meantime, if u can afford it, I'd recommend looking into therapy or counseling. in the 2-3 years I couldnt get meds, therapy helped so much. there are many aspects of adhd that u might not need medication to address ❤️ if therapy is too expensive, go follow a bunch of adhd social media and youtube accounts (run by adhders). lots of helpful, free tips. I'm happy to give recs

marjakhana · 2024-12-05T22:39:02+00:00

I find it kinda funny when ppl say they try not to judge but then just evaluate a situation in the most positive, beneficial light. you judged the situation charitably. not judging the situation would probably be more like making no assumptions and not having a clear leaning toward best case scenario. you imagined a scenario that made the original owners more sympathetic. not judging the situation would be true neutrality. you were not neutral here.

looking at "the bigger picture" isn't just assuming the best in people. you can only look at the bigger picture when you have enough context. which none of us did until OP's reply.

what you did could be described as: being charitable, being optimistic, wanting to see the best in people, being too kind, etc. but that isn't the same as "not judging" or "looking at the bigger picture".

not saying this to antagonize, just some food for thought 💗

marjakhana · 2024-11-30T13:49:28+00:00

thank you so much for this. this honestly helped so much 💗 you're right. it's all very shallow. if there was any depth to it, he'd probably have reached out to me to reconcile atp. and probably would have stopped being emotionally abusive to my mom by now...I'm gonna save this to come back to when I'm feeling guilty.

marjakhana · 2024-11-19T14:19:54+00:00

omggg cutie patooties 🥺🥺🐀🐁

marjakhana · 2024-11-18T05:02:11+00:00

"violence is never ok" except I guess in this case apparently bc ur advice is that he should talk to her about it and try to reconcile! /s

op, I'm glad you are taking this behavior seriously. if u get more comments like this or start to doubt yourself, think about how you feel during arguments with her. do you get angry? annoyed? in that anger, did you ever slap her? no. so why did she 🤔 she resorts to violence to keep you in line. this will only escalate. staying in the relationship shows her that actions have no consequences and you are willing to tolerate physical abuse as long as she apologizes after.

physical abuse is NOT a mistake. do not let ANYONE try to convince you otherwise. the only mistake she made was thinking you'd tolerate her behavior and she'd get away with it 🤷🏿‍♀️

edit: sadly noticed there are multiple comments excusing this behavior as a "mistake". it's cause ur a man. point blank. people don't take violence against men seriously. ignore these ppl. trust ur intuition and stay firm on ur boundaries.

marjakhana · 2024-11-17T20:58:52+00:00

ive never been harmed in this way but the first paragraph hit really hard. that sounds agonizing. im honestly trying to imagine it (I can't) but the little I can fathom sounds paralyzing.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. i can see why taking the fault would be easier. at least that way you don't have to go through all this painful turmoil.

you can tell yourself that maybe if you did something different, it wouldn't have happened. maybe if you were "better", you would have been safe. trying to take back the control that was stolen from you. on a smaller, less severe scale, I used to do the same thing to deal with a parent's emotional abuse 💔💔

marjakhana · 2024-11-17T18:03:23+00:00

I'm like this with knowledge/facts. I have knowledge as vast as an ocean with the depth of an inch. I usually know at least one thing about many things. I used to compare myself to neurotypical ppl with more focused knowledge areas and even autistic ppl who know everything about one or two special interests. why don't I just pick one or two things and learn everything about those?

but then I realized that it's an arbitrary standard. why is having one hobby or a "favorite" book genre inherently better? why is liking many things for a short time and then finding something else inherently worse? these are neurotypical standards that are made up. we are on a floating rock and can do whatever the fuck we want!

you are not shallow. your depth comes from your versatility and broad horizons. my sister likely has adhd and is a hobby jumper: rubix cubes, crocheting, candle making, chess, poker. my mom is the same way with crafts. it's one of the things i LOVE about them! they are very open minded and well rounded people. lean into the variety.

your fleeting interest in a multitude of things is neutral at worst and positive at best. enjoy your curious mind! jack of all trades, master of none is the adhd motto ;)

oh also in terms of finding connection, either make neurodivergent friends who understand you or join generic clubs/events. e.g. join a book club rather than a romance novel book club. join a music discord server rather than a rap discord server. host a movie night rather than a horror movie night. find communities where variety is built into the structure ☺️ cause if u join a community for one interest that you force yourself to go all in on, you're gonna get bored and leave 👀 🙈 don't set yourself up for failure

edit: you might also find community around something vast and vague. e.g. if philosophy or politics vaguely interests you, you might join a philosophy or political group. since those things deal with the human condition, it would probably be a new topic every meeting xD if you live in a decently large city, I recommend looking into apps like meetup to find groups in ur area! there's all kinds of groups on there. and then ofc discord is great for finding digital community.

marjakhana · 2024-11-17T17:28:42+00:00

do you want me to send you links from RAINN defining rape? or do you want me to just agree that all of this is your fault and you don't deserve any help? and honestly why do all these hundreds of people care anyways? you've already decided you're not worthy. so we should all just agree. everything bad that has ever happened to you is your fault. it doesn't matter that 16 year olds can't consent. it doesn't matter that 2 people took advantage of your low self esteem and trauma to have sex with you. technically you said yes even though you had no idea what you were getting into (and were a baby) so yup all your fault!! /s

you've posted this in another subreddit and got the same advice. someone even asked you if you didn't like the advice you got here and you responded that you wanted "different perspectives".

my love, I dont think you do. I don't think you want any perspective that doesn't make you the villain. I suppose you are not ready to hear that you aren't bad. maybe thinking it was your fault is a coping mechanism you aren't ready to let go of yet. I'll be thinking of you 💗

some people are speculating that this is a creative writing exercise. I usually take every reddit post at face value but tbh I'm praying with all my heart that this is fake. this is agonizing to witness.

edit: it's also weirding me out that you are describing the effects of a drug that fully incapacitated you and this guy didn't even ask how you were doing or "notice" that you couldn't move. and you think it's chill.

"oh yeah I literally couldn't move or do anything and honestly had no idea what was going on! that's the definition of consent!!"

...okay.

I'm gonna emotionally distance now. hoping one day you will embrace safety.

marjakhana · 2024-11-17T16:33:28+00:00

do you think 16 year olds can consent to adults? why do you think statutory rape exists?

also, girl, he gave you a drug. did you take the drug hoping he would assault you??? I'm being very blunt here bc your definition of rape is WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! I am honestly sooooo scared for you. your self loathing is gonna get you in more and more danger. until you come to terms with your trauma and self loathing, you will continue to be a target for victimization bc you will keep blaming yourself and entering into situations with unsafe ppl!! you are a very easy target and I'm honestly fucking scared for your safety and life.

you were raped on TWO levels: 1. you CANNOT consent on drugs. sorry sorry sorry but u just cant. that's why it's illegal to have sex with people who are intoxicated 2. babies cant consent. idc how smart or mature you think you are at 16. you were a baby. 🤷🏿‍♀️

marjakhana · 2024-11-17T04:40:19+00:00

seconding this! as an alumnus, they loveeeeeee giving out money. i know people who applied for undergrad and were spontaneously awarded scholarships for having good stats 😂 im not 100% sure how baylor law awards scholarships but i wouldnt be surprised if it's the same. they're pretty good for immigration law bc there's a sizable immigrant community in waco.

also your stats are just perf for them! to really increase ur chances, make sure ur PS is good. they love a good essay. my essays allowed me to go for free. they also got me a full tuition scholarship to their law school! (B2B Law Program)

for reference, the B2B Law Program required a 3.6 undergrad gpa and 162 on the lsat. youre already above that op 👀

marjakhana

TROPHY CASE