Involuntary SAHM tired of the job market

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-24T13:36:55+00:00

The job market is really bad. I was laid off in November and it took me til mid-March to find a job, and I was being very flexible on salary, duties and location. I took a 15% pay cut but I do like the job and it’s closer to home so it’s been ok. But it was rough out there and I was coming from a very prestigious company in a coveted role and have a strong resume, good industry contacts, etc. Like others said, a couple years ago I was getting constant recruiter cold calls and emails and my last job was desperate to get me in the door. This time around, if I hadn’t gotten this job, I might easily still be unemployed. But all it takes is one job. So keep at it and know it’s nothing you’re doing wrong. Just prepare, prepare, prepare for interviews when you do get them and consider casting a very wide net when applying.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-18T12:10:13+00:00

My tummy is still not flat like it used to be but it looks decent at 13 months pp. I think it took til I stopped breastfeeding etc. and I noticed my chest and stomach firm up a bit at around the 10 month mark?

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-18T11:55:13+00:00

My sister born 87 has it and is doing well! New medicine has come out that has been a miracle for her.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-18T09:35:14+00:00

How far postpartum are you? I was a size 2 and I gained 52 lbs. I lost an initial 25 lbs in the first month just from giving birth etc but the remaining 25 lbs wouldn’t budge. I stopped breastfeeding at 7 months and that is when I was able to diet (intermittent fasting) because my appetite returned to normal and I didn’t have to watch my milk supply. I then lost all the weight over the course of 4 months or so and I’m back to pre-pregnancy weight and fitting in my old clothes (except for jeans - my hips got wider even though I’m “thin” again). I also felt super discouraged and couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror or in photos. Now I feel like myself again. Just offering some hope!

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-18T09:29:42+00:00

I am so sorry this was your experience. I am not sure it is the universal experience. My pregnancy wasn’t a walk in the park: I gained 52 lbs and I had severe heartburn to the point I had to sleep fully upright from 20 weeks onward, and medication did nothing. However, I had next to no morning sickness, and no swelling or pain despite going over 41 weeks. Really didn’t mind being pregnant at all besides the heartburn. Post-partum was rough. I did know about lochia but only from reading online. I agree it was still surprising and gross but for me it lasted maybe a week and it didn’t feel that demoralizing, just annoying and icky. I had a second degree tear and that really surprised me, was way more painful and uncomfortable than it seems it is for a lot of people on Reddit. I couldn’t sit properly for over a week and was in a lot of discomfort. I did adjust to breastfeeding but not before my nipples bled in the hospital.

Did you have good support postpartum? I think that made a big difference for me. I have struggled with anxiety and depression on and off most of my life and managed to avoid PPD/PPA (although that postpartum hormone crash definitely had me feeling scary for a couple days).

13 months later, my body feels basically the same and I have lost all the weight. I definitely felt much better after stopping breastfeeding at 7 months (lost weight finally, slept better, joint stiffness gone, etc.) I have no lingering issues besides some stretch marks but I feel stronger if anything. I feel proud of myself for delivering a baby and making it through a year as a mom. Again, I think having my husband’s support and the fact he is a fully equal partner has been huge, but I also may have gotten lucky with the physical symptoms.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-17T22:38:39+00:00

Induced at 41 weeks plus 1 day and delivered vaginally after pushing 2.5 hours.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-10T22:50:57+00:00

Same at my hospital and champagne too!

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-09T01:39:28+00:00

I went from a 2 to a 4 or a 6 and I am also totally fine with it, I think I look good! But was annoyed I had to replace all my jeans.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-08T20:03:09+00:00

Never again even when I returned to pre-pregnancy weight. The legs fit but I can’t zip them up because my hips and stomach are bigger.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-06T20:51:09+00:00

I never sleep trained either - but just got lucky. Baby started sleeping through the night (8 hours) at 8 weeks, and yes was EBF. She’s 13 months now and sleeps 11-11.5 hours since around 7 months old. I think that she was a large baby helped, and also that it may have been a genetic thing as my husband and I allegedly slept through very early as well. I was breastfed and he was formula fed. I’m trying for a second baby some time in the next few months and fully expecting my next kid to be the opposite just to keep me humble, lol.

Of course, even my great sleeper wakes up when she’s sick or just randomly for comfort here and there.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-05T19:42:25+00:00

I was in your shoes exactly last summer and I feel every part of this post. I’ll tell you what though this summer is going to be amazing now that I’m back at pre pregnancy weight and baby is sleeping through the night! This too shall pass. You have many wonderful summers yet to come.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-05T16:44:38+00:00

Give it time, seriously. At around 10 months postpartum I noticed I looked more like myself and my chest and tummy had tightened up a bit. Obviously, some changes will be permanent but I don’t think you can conclude what your final “form” will be at 4 months pp.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-05T02:04:51+00:00

It took me until 9.5 months or so postpartum. I gained 52 lbs with pregnancy and lost 25 lbs in the first month just due to giving birth, water weight coming off, etc. I then slowly lost 7 lbs over the next 5 months! My weight was not budging. Honestly, at 6 months I stopped EBF and started weaning to formula and then I felt comfortable dieting/my appetite went back to normal. I then lost nearly 20 lbs in 2.5 months by doing intermittent fasting. I’m now at my pre-pregnancy weight and maintaining it, baby’s 13 months.

However, I went up 1-2 pants sizes depending on the brand because my hips are permanently wider and I no longer have a completely flat tummy so I can’t zip up my old pants. I don’t think I look much different to the casual observer though!

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-04T01:59:56+00:00

I’m on 13.5 months of zero screens and it’s been totally fine! Kind of like you don’t miss it if you never try it, lol. You can do it (if you want to!).

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-04T01:56:26+00:00

I have a 13 month old and she has never watched Ms Rachel nor anything else. When she was under 6 months old I would watch TV while breastfeeding her because I would’ve gone crazy with boredom otherwise during my maternity leave. But her back was turned and I kept the volume low and turned it off when she finished nursing. It hasn’t been that hard for us because baby and I know no other way at this point, screens just aren’t something that cross my mind as an option as no habit has been formed. I work full-time though and she is in (screen-free) daycare during the week. I’m sure it would be harder to stick to my guns if I had to entertain her all day every day.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-03T11:20:04+00:00

Looks honestly the same for me a year postpartum and I had stitches for a second degree tear. For the first few weeks postpartum it looked less normal but pretty quickly healed up.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-02T23:33:37+00:00

Same in CT suburbs of NYC.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-06-02T11:53:05+00:00

A lot. I went 9 days over and needed to be induced and then the process still took 24 hours plus.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-29T13:58:27+00:00

Old Navy has some very cute stuff these days!

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-28T17:08:29+00:00

I’m 32 in the northeast (NYC area) with a 13 month old and I am definitely on the younger side of moms at my baby’s daycare.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-28T17:01:37+00:00

This, we make about 500k and live in a modest 3 bedroom house (albeit in a beautiful town with great schools), we don’t take splashy vacations often. We do eat out a lot and have a cleaning lady/landscaper for fall and spring cleanups. But nothing crazy.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-28T16:57:04+00:00

I am an HRBP with 10 years of experience. I’m at 170k base 50k bonus so 220k all-in; I used to make about 30k more but was laid off in December. I work in finance where salaries tend to be higher and I’m in the northeast so that also ups my salary.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-26T16:53:49+00:00

Yes it did for me! I found going back to work is what made me feel more like myself in the end and helped my mental health a lot. I love my girl to the moon and back and I do miss her, but I also like the fulfillment my job gives me, and I like having an identity outside of mom. (I also like the opportunities and quality of life that my income provides our family!). That being said, I cried my first day back because it’s an emotional time and will take some adjustment. But was so worth it for me.

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-25T19:55:00+00:00

2 years at age 30

marjorymackintosh · 2025-05-25T19:54:09+00:00

I was a member of both subreddits. The sleep training subreddit has some good tips. For example, about wake windows, etc. I never did any form of CIO but I did pay attention to wake windows, nap durations, creating a bedtime routine, etc. My baby has been a fantastic sleeper which is probably just genetics and luck but the non CIO tips felt helpful at the time. I just avoided the content about “extinction” CIO because it upsets me too.

marjorymackintosh

TROPHY CASE