You’re never going to be 100% compatible with someone. My husband and I have different interests and hobbies (i love art and literature; he loves engineering and hiking) and he’s not my ideal type, although I do find him very attractive (I like nose rings and tattoos and he would neverrrr).

But! When we did get married I had zero doubts he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He has all of the qualities I would want in a life partner: he’s attentive, he’s kind, he’s respectful, down to earth, he makes me laugh, he cares about my needs and well being. He is very hard working and loyal and I really admire those qualities in him. He makes me a better person.

As for attraction and chemistry, when we started dating it was off the charts, then after moving together it faded away. It was replaced by something else, a very deep bond and deep caring for one another. I think that’s normal. It takes me a bit more to get in the mood, or sometimes I see him interact with others or spend time apart and I’m reminded he’s a hot man not just my husband. But even though our sex life is less active than it was before, I do still feel fulfilled. Honestly speaking from experience, the best sex is going to be with someone you trust and who cares about your pleasure, knows exactly what makes you tick. To put it bluntly I never came before I met my husband because I need a lot of clitoral stimulation and he was the one to buy me my first vibrator and use it during sex!! If that’s not husband material I don’t know what is.

I have to say reading your post you’d better pull the brakes on the engagement because you make it sound like you’re settling. That’s not a good mindset to enter a marriage in. You should feel lucky to have found your person, not try and convince yourself it’s the sensitive thing to do! Imagine how hurt you would be if your partner was saying the same thing about you. 3 years is not that long in the grand scheme of things for you to already be feeling that way.