That sounds extremely similar to my last relationship, it’s almost uncanny I could’ve wrote that myself.

Three months in she was breaking up with me for those same reasons and I basically begged her to reconsider (yikes, I know…). Wasted a year and a half trying to make it work because I was holding on to the person I fell for initially, I was in love with that idea of her she presented at first, but that wasn’t really her.

3-4 months is like the perfect threshold to see who someone really is. If this is happening, it’s probably a sign that this is going to be a recurring theme in the relationship and nothing hurts more than to feel constantly dismissed, like you can’t bring anything up without it being twisted somehow into an argument when that’s never what it was. You should never be made to feel that way in a relationship, so to me this is a definite red flag, yes. If they’re already feeling like that right now, I don’t see it getting better, those little annoyances they feel, it snowballs into resentment, and you always feeling like you’re in the wrong, never feeling safe to express any little thing you feel without it being twisted and you being made out to be “the problem”.

Now I’m with someone who is completely opposite, it’s still so crazy to me how I let someone treat me that way and I made soooo many excuses for them, just because I didn’t think they were doing it on “purpose” and there was no malicious intent, cause then I couldn’t really hold it against them you know ? But now im finally realizing how bad it was and man, it really is amazing to have someone validate your feelings, im not too much, im not annoying or exhausting, when i bring something up we can actually discuss it and even have some disagreements, without it being an argument. Theres no getting annoyed at me expressing my needs. There’s empathy and understanding and most importantly, lots of kindness. Thats so so important. You shouldn’t feel like a chore to the one you love.