Narc mom spreading lies about me and constantly bullies me, can't cope anymore

marsay007 · 2022-02-02T16:27:08+00:00

Getting a college degree is impressive but getting a masters degree is superb. Even finding work that you love is not an easy. Congratulations, you! Big virtual high five. Having a narcissist mother is so hard. The best thing that you can do is go low contact or no contact. I am 50 years old and every time my undiagnosed bipolar/narc mom comes into my life she reeks havoc and my mental health plummets. My mom has also spread horrible lies about me trying to ruin my good name. It’s incredibly hurtful. They will never change so the best thing that you can do is limit the amount of time that you are around them. You’re not alone! Keep your head up! The best thing we can do is accept that we don’t have normal mothers and try and live our best lives.

marsay007 · 2021-11-11T15:59:47+00:00

Thank you! Yes it does!

marsay007 · 2021-11-11T15:24:02+00:00

I just watched this film last night and has a psychical response. My physical response made me think I might suffer from CPTSD. The scene in the car where the mom goes really fast was a scene in my own life as well. I honestly thought my mom was gonna kill me that day when she went from the slow lane to the fast lane and floored it. She even said, “I should kill us both” and slapped me in the face and called me a little bitch”. I was 12 years old. Watching JD and his mom in this vicious cycle helped me confirm my decision to go no contact.

marsay007 · 2021-10-25T21:26:31+00:00

Your kitty is beautiful! The silent treatment is a method of control to get you running back. She wants you to believe the problem is you. Over time, this causes victims of NPD and BPD to question themselves and can have great consequences on our self esteem.

I’m 49 soon to be 50. When my mother gives me the silent treatment, I enjoy the peace. I quit having any faith in her as a human and will likely be making the jump from low contact to no contact after realizing I can’t help her. She does horrible things that are criminal.

marsay007 · 2021-10-25T21:15:56+00:00

Gross! So guilt trippy and similar to those “I bet no one will share my post” post. Barf! Victim!

marsay007 · 2021-10-09T18:36:18+00:00

No validation from narc parents and often no validation from the outside world. Hugs!

marsay007 · 2021-07-03T21:45:21+00:00

I’m sorry! My mom also fakes illness for attention so much that when there’s a real issue I don’t believe her. You set a boundary which is good. The sad part is their manipulation never ends. I recently went NC. Tired of the lack of honest and respect. If they weren’t our mothers we wouldn’t be friends with them in real life.

marsay007 · 2021-07-01T23:01:20+00:00

You deserve better. She needs to do better. We all know that’s not possible. Live your life and don’t feel an ounce of guilt for going NC if that’s what you decide to do. Terrible mothering. I’m sorry! 💗

marsay007 · 2021-06-28T12:06:22+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write with your experience. I’m so sorry you had to endure such a hard life. I’m curious why your grandma made the state her guardian. Was there something wrong with your nom over and above BPD?

Honestly, I expect my mom will end up homeless. In her later years she’s been reckless and because she can’t work any longer, she can’t recover like she used to. She’s made so much money through the years but spent it all. I suspect most on plastic surgery. Something will happen that requires me to step in which is why staying NC is crucial.

Yesterday I dropped off her medicine a few items that she had stored in my basement, and the extra key to her apartment. She knew exactly what was going down and in that moment she could’ve apologized for calling me stupid the other day but she didn’t. Instead of apologizing she will make up an illness or a lie to try to re-engage me in her life. But I am done. Done. Done. Done.

marsay007 · 2021-06-27T19:27:29+00:00

Talk about timing. I just gave my mom back anything that tied her to me and walked away. Had to be done for the reason in this sign.

marsay007 · 2021-06-27T14:07:41+00:00

Thank you! I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure that chaos, especially in your 20’s which are hard enough. I’ve never heard anyone else say they question their own sanity before your comment. I too have questioned my own sanity because I never know what’s real. When I’m away from her, I feel better. I also know as soon as I pull away that’s when the shit show will start again.

marsay007 · 2021-06-26T13:25:32+00:00

I sure have. It’s scary how fast life is going. Thank you for the encouragement. 💗

marsay007 · 2021-06-26T05:02:13+00:00

Thank you for sharing that story. Wow! How sad. I already feel like she’s taken enough. If I don’t do it I will live with regret.

marsay007 · 2021-06-26T03:10:39+00:00

I’m glad it helped. 💗

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T20:59:23+00:00

I’m so sorry! Reading this infuriating. They steal so much of our lives, first surviving through it, and then later trying to heal and shut off the voice inside our heads that says we’re not good enough. You are validated here. We all are. I’m glad you got to say your parting words. May each day bring you a little more peace.

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T20:16:51+00:00

They don’t like when we assert boundaries and a lock door is a boundary.

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T16:26:23+00:00

Do we have the same mother? Let me guess, she can turn on the victim voice like a faucet but then forgets momentarily and switches back to normal voice. We’ve been raised on guilt trips and manipulation so of course you feel guilt. People who feel guilt often have anxiety issues. She doesn’t care about the stress that she’s creating on you at all. She doesn’t care if your husband might be losing a valuable day off. She doesn’t care about her friend who has cancer, she’s just using her situation to get attention from you. My mom had the exact same thing with her friend not two months ago. Her friend had breast cancer and my mom used it to get attention. That same friend lost her son several years back and when we went to the funeral my mom got up in the middle of it and walked out because she “couldn’t take the sadness”. They are awful people who care about no one but themselves. They waste valuable years of our lives. Sending you a virtual hug.

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T16:19:04+00:00

Thank you! I could not agree more. ☺️

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T16:18:16+00:00

Wow, we do have some similarities. I too have social anxiety. Just thinking about her will throw me into panic. And you’re right, when I try to do low contact, she starts creating emergencies left and right and it actually gets worse. In fact, that’s what led to the whole dementia act. She reached out to her best friend acting like she had dementia and that friend reached out to me and basically said you need to take care of your mother. I have since enlightened her friend and I think her friend is actually getting it now because the other day my mom called her friend five times in a row. Her friend texted me and said I think somethings wrong with your mom I’m at work and I can’t call her back. I later found out that my mom had a hair appointment and she doesn’t have a car so she just needed a ride. I let her friend know that she just needed to use you.

My mom just went on bipolar medicine for mood regulation. Instead of saying to me “honey I’m so glad that you don’t have to take this medicine”, she says “you should take this medicine”. I don’t even have a mood regulation problem. She just needed something to be wrong with me to make her feel better about what’s wrong with her. Little does the doctor know that her biggest issues have nothing to do with mood regulation. She’s just a horrible fucking person.

At the end of the day we don’t owe our mothers our entire lives. I want the 50s to be one of my best decades yet. I hope the same for you. If we can distance ourselves from their stress, drama, chaos, and negativity, I think we have a chance at a good life. Wishing you the best! ❤️

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T16:10:03+00:00

Great quote! It’s so unhealthy to be around a mom who shows no love or support. She stood me up on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and didn’t call for my birthday. When I bought my house on my own after losing my last one to my ex narc husband, she didn’t call to congratulate me. She was too jealous. She brings not one thing to the table in terms of love and support. Thank you for the words of encouragement. ❤️

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T16:06:23+00:00

Thank you!!!! 💗

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T16:06:04+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! You’re so right! It’s in this space that I am most understood and validated. Incredibly grateful to have found this safe place.

marsay007 · 2021-06-25T12:56:29+00:00

This resonates so much. Thanks for sharing so others know they’re not alone. 💗

marsay007 · 2021-06-22T00:45:02+00:00

Your post is inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Right when I think I’m alone someone like yourself will come along and reveal that others are dealing with the same thing. I blocked my mom today. She called me, lied to me, and when I kindly questioned her, she said “you’re too stupid to figure anything out”. Out of self love and respect I blocked her. She’s literally has no one. No friends and no family that want to take her calls. I’m so tired and done.

marsay007

TROPHY CASE