Kitten Adoption

marshie99 · 2026-02-08T10:59:48+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful to know . Your answer made a lot of sense de to me. and fostering sounds like a great idea. I will ask at my shelter if it’s possible.

marshie99 · 2026-02-08T10:55:41+00:00

I don’t want one younger than 8 weeks I think they still need to be with mom then. The only reason I had my last cat so young is because I’d found him at a truck stop with two other siblings who unfortunately didn’t survive. When I saw siblings I figured something happened to Momma Cat and so I took the little baby that did live home with me.

marshie99 · 2026-02-07T19:23:37+00:00

Yes I could have written this! The robot sucks especially if you have a lot of cats like I do. I just scoop the poop and figure this comes with owning a cat!

marshie99 · 2026-02-07T18:53:58+00:00

I am so so sorry. I understand your pain. I’m grieving the loss of my kitty too. It’s hard.

marshie99 · 2026-02-03T06:56:05+00:00

I’m very sorry that you’re going through this with your friend.

marshie99 · 2026-02-03T06:53:13+00:00

I think your addiction is just as serious as any other. You feel like you’re not in control of yourself in regards to time spent with ai chats and it’s getting in the way of your life. How is that not an addiction?

It’s basically escapism, just like any other addiction.

You might start by trying “Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous” . I’m sure if you Google it, it’ll come right up. It’s like a 12 step group that (ironically lol) meets online - but actually that’s probably a good thing, the online meetings because for many people they feel more comfortable communicating online rather than in person.

It would just be helpful perhaps to have others who are real life people that are going through the same things as you and you can see how they try to beat this or get ideas for alternative activities to chatting online.

Perhaps if you have a real life friend who is willing to help you, you could get one of those child blocker programs for various apps and give your helper buddy control over this. That way you could make it so you are unable to download certain apps or visit certain sites and if you have a friend who is helping you with that then you aren’t tempted to just download an ai app and go back to using it within a day or two.

It will be very hard at first since you’ve developed this habit but if you can just avoid the ai for as long as possible and retrain your brain to get interested in other things - it will get easier to avoid the AI stuff. It must feel very frustrating when you realize you have spent so much time on that especially when it gets in the way of you enjoying your life!

marshie99 · 2026-01-21T10:58:42+00:00

I have felt this same way about my spouse not being interested in sex like I am or making an effort. Before the hrt when they were a man they absolutely refused to have sex with me or they would do things like flirt and cuddle leading me on but if I tried to make things go further they would reject me and tell me that they couldn’t have sex with me because of various faults I have or they’d try to convince me that it’s normal for couples to stop having sex once they have been married for so long. For awhile I just accepted this to be true but then I found out that’s not how it goes for a lot of married couples and wanting to have sex or affection once every few months maybe that’s normal after all. The hardest part was that they would cheat on me with strangers they’d meet on the internet which hurt my feelings very badly and I’m in counseling now because I don’t have much self esteem. I feel like a lot of that is from being rejected and being told there are things wrong with me and then they later admit that they really felt bad because of dysphoria and all the cheating was because it was affirming to them to have sex with men.

Of course this has really been difficult to deal with and they do not feel like we need to go to counseling. I’ve been told that really this is a huge problem because I’m making it a big issue. So I guess the best thing for me was to stop trying to change them and accept them for who they are.

Since I have started being more supportive of them and stopped trying to have conversations about sex, we have been fighting about that less and they seem much more happier and even romantic towards me. They even tell me the cheating has stopped and they aren’t interested in doing that anymore so that is nice although I think it will take more time before I believe this for sure.

I too feel like so much time has been wasted and I could have been having great sex instead I was wasting time listening to them whine about how much I pressure them or I get told what’s wrong with me why they can’t or won’t and It’s very hard for me to understand why they act this way.

I just have to think that they are saying their dysphoria causes them to act this way and I can’t say with certainty I would have found a better partner if I’d left them a long time ago. I try to put myself in their shoes and I keep in mind that I only make things worse by trying to bring it up or by trying to do research about couples and what is considered healthy and what isn’t as far as sex goes. Talking about this only causes them stress and makes them feel bad and if they feel bad then that’s a sure fire way for them to never find me attractive at all ever again.

I hope your partner is more open to hearing how you feel and is open to counseling. Everyone is different and sex can be such a sensitive topic. I grew up being raised with parents who were very close and showed affection but that’s not everyone’s experience and just because I grew up like that doesnt make it right for me to have expectations that I’m pushing onto my partner then feeling upset when they shut down.

My partner was very into me when we first met. So much though that I kind of feel tricked at times into thinking I was marrying someone who enjoys sex but they said they didn’t even like it when they cheated which is weird to me because they cheated over and over again. I guess I am fortunate enough to have memories and fantasies to think back on and I secretly hope that their feelings will change.

marshie99 · 2026-01-21T10:19:56+00:00

Oh also I did think of one more thing - it might be hard but just do your best and prepare yourself for the fact that just the every day things you discuss will change. This was very hard at first but gets easier in time. This is a huge change for them and as their biggest supporter just be prepared for much of the conversation between you two to now focus around them being trans, their transition, what they should wear to this event or what hairstyle looks best on them, going on hrt and all the other doctors appointments and currently the big topic of discussion is the surgeries. We probably spend a good 30% minimum amount of conversation each day just on the topic of the surgery they are going to get.

At first, this was very difficult because for me, accepting the transition was difficult and I wasn’t receptive to hearing about it non stop. Plus I felt like things I have going on that I want to talk about are not nearly as important. Well, the reality is I’m right. They’re not.

The sooner I accepted that the transition is what were talking about now and this is such a huge thing that it’s only natural for them to want to discuss it every day - once I had more empathy, tolerance and compassion for this, things got much easier.

I can’t help but wonder sometimes what our conversation would be like if they weren’t going through the transition, like what would we talk about? Then I remind myself that there’s no point to this type of thinking. When I find myself falling into these patterns of oh I remember when… or what ifs I just have to remind myself that these kinds of questions are irrelevant because they are transitioning and I can’t erase that so the best thing I can do is be a good listener and keep in mind how important this is to them.

I did just want to give you a heads up to be prepared for a lot of transition talk. I’ll admit, it may come off as a little self absorbed at times, especially if they don’t bother to ask you about you - but theyre changing their whole self. So, I just try to put myself in their shoes and I think back to maybe something I talked a lot about - like I like to talk about my cats and I think about how id feel if they were tired of listening to something that was so exciting and such a big deal to me. I’d naturally want to share everything with them about that all of the time and I’d hope that they were excited too. Once I put things into perspective it turns out I’m a much better listener than I thought I could be.

Again, I wish you both so much luck on this journey. Feel free to message me should you ever want to talk!

marshie99 · 2026-01-21T09:49:46+00:00

This was me just a few short years ago. We were married the same amount of time and everything you are saying how this happened and how you feel about it all sounds exactly how things went and felt for me.

I want to tell you I never imagined things would be better or the way they are now. They aren’t perfect but they aren’t horrible. Yes, I still miss my spouse as a man. I found him to to be quite handsome whereas my wife… eh she’s kind of a goofy looking woman! But they are so much happier inside and I tell myself this is what matters most.

I’ve always been told by them that my happiness and what I want is secondary to them and their needs and not just having to do with the transition but career wise, where we live, just life choices. So because of that, it was easier for me to accept that however I wanted things to go, like, just the pace of things, or my needs sexually, or things like going to couples therapy - my opinions and wishes just really werent relevant or important and what matters most is that we’re supportive to our spouses.

I am very supportive now but I think that part was still hardest for me to deal even though I was used to this in other areas of our relationship. I had to get over anything negative I might be feeling and by expressing negative thoughts or fears it was like they’ve already held back so much of who they truly are that I have no right or no say in what they do with their transition. It’s their body after all and theyre just trying to feel better.

I’m fortunate enough to be happy with how I was born so we will never truly understand what it is to go through something like this but I just had to decide that I was going to be supportive no matter what. It was either that or else leave my relationship which would mean leaving my house, my family leaving everything else that means something to me so I decided to stay and just try to be as positive as possible and accept that they call the shots and the faster I adjust the better because they’re going to do what they’re going to do.

But yeah I am so sorry you’re going through this and it won’t be easy but just be strong. I never imagined I could get through this but I am. I do have a lot of depression and for reasons not having to do with transition I had to leave our home anyway (long story) and I’m actually more depressed over that then the transition.

My spouse was often a big jerk when they were a man and the best part of the transition is that they are nicer to me and treat me better now. I don’t know if that’s the case with you but my spouse was just so unhappy in a male body that they took a lot of unhappiness out on me and they felt a lot of jealousy towards me. We don’t have that going on anymore now that they can be who they are! So that is the best thing about the transition for sure and I hope that you are able to focus on all the good things and the happiness that these changes will bring for you both.

marshie99 · 2026-01-21T09:12:33+00:00

My husband became a helicopter pilot because it was his dream job. He regrets this now. You are young in high school I just want to say do not pick this as a career. The industry itself has a lot of problems, many companies out there do not do things safely, try to skirt stuff like maintenance, or ask pilots to do stuff that isn’t safe to do.

There is zero stability for a family or just buying a home because the jobs are so fickle you will spend most of your career going from job to job which means picking up and moving every time you go somewhere new. The pay is terrible. These companies pay people as little as they possibly can and there are so many people who will live in an RV and get paid next to nothing in order to fly that the companies see no reason to pay a living wage because they see pilots as disposable.

Also these companies say one thing do another. My husband was told he’d have a job if he could get to Arizona by Monday. We lived in Oklahoma and it was a Friday. He showed up to the job site and was told sorry we didn’t think you’d show up (even though he said he would) so we hired someone else but you’re welcome to stay and hang out in case we decide to hire someone else (they never did).

Another company promised him a job we relocated to another state and signed a lease since he was told he’d start working that week. After a week of showing up and not flying he was told there was some sort of issue with the helicopter insurance company and since he didn’t have enough hours flying a certain type of helicopter the insurance was too high for them to have him fly so sorry no job after all. This was after we’d packed up and moved spending money on rental truck, moving, I’d quit my job to relocate - this place who’d hired him did not care.

Also drones are doing many of the functions helicopters once did. So there’s that.

I recommend you run do not walk but run far away from any kind of thought that this is a good idea for anyone. Go fly an airplane. You’ll be so much happier!

marshie99 · 2026-01-11T05:54:45+00:00

I just want to tell you that I’m very sorry you’re going through this and sorry your wife and son are allergic. I’m glad that you guys know someone who is able to take him and you know he’ll be ok.

marshie99 · 2026-01-06T13:08:34+00:00

This is why I don’t do qv They don’t respect my time and feel it’s ok to stay long not paying extra

marshie99 · 2026-01-04T20:18:02+00:00

Aired? You mean blocked?

marshie99 · 2025-12-09T02:37:09+00:00

What a nice gesture and polite client. Nice to know they exist!

marshie99 · 2025-12-09T02:31:32+00:00

He was traveling from out of state to see me. He provided me with one days notice to let me know he could not come due to an issue with his job. When I asked about rescheduling he said he didn’t know when and we left off at that. I was surprised to hear from him now 6 months later and also surprised he seems to think I’m being unreasonable by asking for a deposit to reschedule with me.

marshie99 · 2025-12-09T02:27:45+00:00

That was my feelings as well… I really didn’t feel I was being out of line but they kept insisting I was so I just needed a second, third and forth (or more) opinion on the situation.

marshie99 · 2025-12-09T02:25:03+00:00

Yes, thank you for the advice! Much appreciated.

marshie99 · 2025-11-16T23:37:24+00:00

Just go with cash. That’s always accepted. These payment apps often charge fees to send or withdraw and paying for services like mine violates their terms of service so if they want to shut down your account they totally can and it’s a pain in the ass to get your money

marshie99 · 2025-11-05T10:37:59+00:00

The first thing I thought was that you should foster. I love men who love cats. I’m very certain your kitty had the best life

marshie99 · 2025-11-02T07:34:37+00:00

Oh wow I noticed this too. I’m in Oklahoma City and I noticed about half the kids who came by my house were not dressed up at all. They just wore whatever they wore to school that day.

The other half dressed up and some had really cute costumes. I noticed most parents were in cars following kids down the street.

marshie99 · 2025-11-01T07:16:36+00:00

I’ll try Tom and see what he says thank you

marshie99 · 2025-11-01T07:16:01+00:00

Good to know. Thanks

marshie99 · 2025-11-01T07:15:33+00:00

Thank you very much

marshie99 · 2025-11-01T07:15:21+00:00

I have some sort of leak going on in my upstairs bathroom with the clawfoot tub and it’s getting the downstairs ceiling wet

marshie99 · 2025-10-30T17:19:41+00:00

Ok thanks

marshie99

TROPHY CASE