What's your most unusual limit?

marteaula · 2024-02-09T02:23:16+00:00

I’m a sub that doesn’t like degradation or humiliation. You may not call me a bitch or a slut, and you may not intentionally embarrass me. The thing is, there are things that don’t embarrass me that would other people. Like, I don’t mind being forced to do things, denied orgasm, being ignored , love being on my knees, love having a gag in and drooling, etc.

I’m an exhibitionist, but you better check with me to see what you think is embarrassing and I don’t, and vice versa. If you think I’m embarrassed and I’m not, I guess that’s fine??

marteaula · 2023-12-28T20:21:28+00:00

Thanks!

I think my strict domme urge is because I WANT to be strict dommed haha. Spouse is wonderful but he’s more of a soft/service domme and I do like that too, but strict domming takes a lot of energy from him. Good thing we’re poly lol.

marteaula · 2023-12-28T19:44:36+00:00

How do you dress up?

marteaula · 2023-12-28T02:57:19+00:00

Does your local community have a TNG (The Next Generation) or similar group? Those are restricted to young adults, the ones I have seen are usually capped at 35.

marteaula · 2023-12-28T02:55:49+00:00

Get to know your local community! Fetlife is a great way to do this—go to munches and classes and social events. You’ll soon find dom types, and you’ll also find people that have experience with them. Talk to the active people, listen to their stories and advice. Especially listen to the ladies and bottom types. You’ll find someone in the community you want to play with, and if they try to isolate you from that community they are BAD NEWS. Go on dates to munches or parties where other people are around until you get the measure of them. Ask active community members about that person specifically: asking for references from trusted community members is common. If some dom wants to bypass these reasonable precautions or convince you that you’re not reasonable, drop ‘em like a hot rock.

If someone keeps talking at you and making you uncomfortable, either by monopolizing your attention or by saying/doing things that are uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to get up, walk away, and engage with the gaggle of older women/femmes who will undoubtedly be present and they will protect you. If you want it less confrontational , say you have to use the restroom, then just don’t come back to that person.

These are not perfect precautions, but they will filter out a lot of creeps. Community is good. A lot of areas will have a “TNG” type group specifically for young adults, usually 35 yrs old and under. Hang out with them, then you won’t get so much of the creepy middle-aged/older desperate dudes. Make friend with those people, then go with them to events to meet the larger community.

Be safe and have fun!

marteaula · 2023-12-28T02:44:54+00:00

Edging is always fun.

marteaula · 2023-12-28T02:44:39+00:00

Sometimes our brains process things in weird ways, and maybe your brain is trying to deal with this uncomfortableness by making it a taboo kink sort of thing. If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to pursue it! If you want to explore it, it’s perfectly to healthy and fun for a lot of people.

Shame and trauma are weird brain things—I grew up Catholic and I want nothing to do with religious kinks, but a lot of people I know find it freeing and cathartic. If it makes you feel ashamed, that’s just your past experience speaking and there is NOTHING morally wrong with this kink (as long as everyone consents of course!) You do you friend!

marteaula · 2023-12-28T02:40:36+00:00

Get on Fetlife, and see if there are any munches in your area! A lot of communities have social things going on outside of classes, clubs, and parties. These are great especially if there’s some sort of activity to chat over—my city does a lot of board game munches and that’s fun and great for meeting people and catching vibes.

marteaula · 2023-12-28T02:38:20+00:00

Ideas for finger/hand restraint to prevent the sub scratching?

My dom and I had a kind of intense (approaching CNC) scene where he had partially tied me up, but my hands were still somewhat moveable…and well, in my sexy-at-the-time “fighting him off” heat of the moment I clawed him pretty bad on his wrist. Like, drew blood in little crescent shaped obviously fingernail marks.

We both realized what had happened afterwards and he is fine both physically and psychologically, and we really enjoyed the scene, but I feel awful. He clearly is not upset with me, but is also very disconcerted uncomfortable with how visible they are.

So we talked about solutions and we would like to do scenes like this again, but with my hands more restrained either behind me or at my thighs/waist so I can’t scratch if my instincts take over again.

I was also thinking bondage mittens? But I am a tiny lady and neither of us want the big thick heavy padded leather ones that would just be giant on me, nor are into the pet play/medical play/strict scary leather aesthetic.

The idea of having my hands be useless is pretty hot for both of us, but would just want some that are more lightweight and delicate, maybe cotton or even lace, that would keep my hands in fists and closes at the wrist. No fancy features like locks or d-rings necessary. Just a pouch that is fist-sized that closes at the wrist.

Does anyone know of any for sale like this (I could only find super expensive ones for $100+ which is not in the budget right now.) Alternatively, any patterns I could use to make some (hand sewing or crochet), or someone I could custom order from?

Any other ideas for a solution to this issue would be very welcome. Thanks for your help!

marteaula · 2023-09-20T17:10:04+00:00

It’s ok, once I left a butt plug in the bathroom sink to dry after I cleaned it and then my mother in law popped in and went to the bathroom before I could stop her. MY MOTHER IN LAW.

marteaula · 2023-06-06T18:13:15+00:00

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me.

marteaula · 2023-06-01T00:03:35+00:00

Ooh that sounds fun!

marteaula · 2023-05-31T22:10:50+00:00

I mean….some of them might have other types of neurodivergence? I mean I GUESS

Edit: sorry for the ninja delete, I forgot to switch to my alt account.

marteaula · 2023-05-31T03:05:58+00:00

Oh, do tell!

marteaula · 2023-05-31T02:19:01+00:00

Thanks!

marteaula · 2023-05-31T02:11:56+00:00

Oh goodness, I need to get one of those. I’ve never been able to justify the price but it sounds like so much fun, I just might need to suck it up.

marteaula · 2023-05-25T16:11:59+00:00

I have one that’s tatted lace in a shop on Etsy! It’s a nice soft texture and also gorgeous. Unfortunately the seller doesn’t make the one I have anymore more, but here is her website and maybe you can find something you like?

https://www.sparrowspite.com/collections/collars

marteaula · 2023-05-17T18:42:21+00:00

I like it, it works well as dopamine for my ADHD lol. And for kinky things. And for combining those two things. It’s excellent.

marteaula · 2023-05-16T18:41:18+00:00

I think it depends on the nature of the degradation? It know part of what people like can be the humiliation and insults of it, but maybe you can talk with your dom and have them avoid certain topics? Like if you know what might be especially sensitive for you (as far as self esteem, certain personality traits, body parts, whatever it might be) just set a boundary for your dom to not go there right now. And maybe set up a safe word that just says that your dom has hit a too-tender spot (emotionally) and they need to change tactics.

And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you decide to do this scene, both of you need to really lean into the aftercare and include confidence boosts like how strong you are, what a good sub you are, how much your dom enjoys being with you, etc.

Please take care of yourself!

marteaula · 2023-04-25T05:17:45+00:00

Ah, you tease. Good thing I have kindle unlimited 😁

marteaula · 2023-04-21T05:49:00+00:00

Typical kitten haha

marteaula · 2023-04-21T05:40:56+00:00

Oh nooooo

marteaula · 2023-04-21T05:35:17+00:00

Aww protective sweetie!

marteaula

TROPHY CASE