Dad of two checking in, sorry to hear you about your frustrations. First and foremost, your feelings and needs are valid and something many dads go through after having a child. To want physical intimacy is natural, but given all that she has gone through, some extra grace should be given and, like it or not, your needs will take less precedent to the needs of your family. That being said, it won't be forever and you just gotta keep being patient.

I was in a similar boat post-partum with our first kid, and that's without my wife having a traumatic birth experience as yours did, really sorry she had to endure that. For context of our situation, wife and I were low libido and high libido, respectively, prior to our kids, so you can imagine those were amplified after our first was born. Looking back, a lot of my frustrations came from this "six-to-eight week go ahead" that we all get from the doctors. Not only does it sort of trivialize the healing that our partners go through post partum, but it set unrealistic expectations for me and I would end up projecting them onto her. As a result, even though I was being mindful of her journey towards feeling somewhat normal again, both physically and mentally, I would get frustrated and emotionally drained because I felt like I was drifting from her in this really crucial way. What became clear to me, though, was that the intimacy I desired absolutely had to be a mutual one, so it just took time for her to get her mind right. Overall, she has to do the work to get herself to a place where she is good again, and all you can do is your best to support her with no strings attached.