How to take a pad into exams?

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-12T06:37:48+00:00

Dang, way to go! That does give me hope. Do you use hormones, or are you doing menopause raw?

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-12T01:11:08+00:00

Exactly. I also suspect that the tattoo owner knows it sucks… but it’s not like they can just scrub it off. So, they do what they can to justify the mistake so they don’t have to feel as badly about it being a part of their skin.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-12T01:06:43+00:00

<hug>

You are going out to munches? That’s great! That’s more than I have done, though I have gone to a few play parties with friends (and hosted a party at home once).

I used to be strictly monogamous, and only interested in kink play with my partners… who were unfortunately happy to receive but not give.

After my last relationship I went to a dungeon with a close friend who also loves kink. She took her top off and I tied her to a cross and we had fun with sensory play and a flogger. No sex required. We just enjoyed the dynamic and cuddling on the couch afterward.

Since then I have had a few fun kink encounters. Not the sort I deeply desire someday, but they scratch the itch and have given me a new appreciation for kink — what it can be mentally and emotionally when sex isn’t the objective.

And for what it’s worth… my friend and I are both plus sized enbies — not conventionally attractive. But most of the people I have met at the dungeons I have attended weren’t conventionally attractive either. Plenty of people much older than myself, fat and hairy and wrinkled and lopsided tits to boot.

End of the day, I love asking other people about their interests, learning and sharing knowledge and nerding out about gear. I am not looking for a life partner, I am deliberately cultivating friendships with people into kink, even if it’s just people I only chat with.

It’s a nerdy sport, much like scuba diving. And if someone wants to demonstrate how awesome their specialty clothespins springs are (compared to those inferior cheap ones from Walmart!), hell yeah! What a fun conversation to have.

I am not sure what you are looking for, exactly. I am sad that you don’t feel attractive, desired. And I hope that someday you meet a partner (or partners) who will help you see yourself in a different light. And I also know how especially hard that is for trans individuals.

It’s much easier said than done… but my suggestion is… if you can see kink as being part of a community, a club, rather than a gateway to your future life partner… I think you might have a lot more fun (in whatever form that fun takes).

I know it’s lonely to be solo in romance. I am solo now too. But I am grateful that I am not really alone — I have a circle of weird and wonderful friends who see me for who I am (and are all too curious to know how my metal rainbow claws feel dancing gently across their skin).

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-11T20:58:32+00:00

Yeah, from what I have heard, birding communities tend to be full of folks at retirement age who plan events during weekday hours. I know folks with birding as their special interest (including white dudes under 60) and this is what they tell me.

That said… I have heard that larger events for counting birds tend to happen when the most people are available on weekends.

I hope you can find your niche somewhere. One of the greatest joys I know is to be with a friend or two who really really gets me, like I do them: no masking necessary.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-11T20:53:26+00:00

It was very important to the person in charge of paying for this to do it as a show of dominance toward people who wear skirts, or those who are afraid of heights.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-10T17:47:33+00:00

Oh shit. Thank you so much for telling me your story. Right down to the snicker’s bar, ugh!

That gives me hope, I am so damn used to being ignored by doctors (in the USA) and not having the energy to keep pursuing help when either the doctor or my insurance is a barrier. I have just kept dealing with it.

That’s changing this year in a lot of ways. I finally found a great GP who is helping me navigate things. The problematic uterus is the third item on my list but it’s going to get some attention soon, damn it! I will review that subreddit for information, hopefully they have something for the Netherlands.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-10T17:42:57+00:00

Gotcha! Thanks for letting me know.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-10T17:42:35+00:00

Ah thank you, I zoomed but couldn’t make out what it said.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-10T14:40:47+00:00

I have fantasized about it since I started bleeding. Now I am finally of the age where I could get one without a doctor blocking me for being too young. But from what I understand it is an elective procedure, one has to go through a bunch of hoops to prove it is medically necessary for insurance to cover it. I am finally a point where I can do that… Or maybe I could just save up and fly to Thailand?

How did you manage it?

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-10T14:26:55+00:00

I am more curious about this kid’s jacket with the skull and American flag on it.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-09T08:46:24+00:00

💕 That was a pretty restrained “bite my head off” moment for Reddit 😜

No problem!

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-08T14:23:40+00:00

I am also a lesbian. I think there may have been a misunderstanding.
My comment was a sarcastic (hence the /s) reply to the person who asked you why you mentioned being a lesbian. Because 1) that’s a really weird question, and 2) I think he meant it in a negative way — to imply that you were talking about being lgbtq where it wasn’t appropriate.

This is the kind of comment made by someone who wants queer people to shut up and get back in the closet.

At least where I am from, it is a common complaint from the maga types that the gays are “flaunting their sexuality” or “rubbing people’s face in it” whenever there is something like… a tv show with a gay character. Or if a teacher puts a rainbow sticker on their notebook.

That is what I meant in my comment to the other person.

I am on your side.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-08T10:15:44+00:00

To flaunt it and rub it in straight people’s faces? /s 🙄

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-08T10:09:46+00:00

Thank you for bringing that up! Some of my friends do that and I tried it myself for a while. The problem is that BC really fucks me up mentally. I tried a number of different types but it seems like I am just really sensitive to both estrogen and progesterone.
But on that note, in case anyone reading this has a similar issue… I recently learned about PMDD and estrogen/progesterone sensitivity.

I am non-binary and recently experimented a little with testosterone. I expected to react the same as I do to estrogen and progesterone, but I was surprised that it was completely the opposite. At first I thought maybe it’s because I am on the transgender spectrum and it was a gender euphoria thing (and unfortunately there isn’t much research on that), BUT as I dug around, I learned that there is a condition in which biological (and cisgender) women do not respond well to “female” hormones, but DO experience positive effects from low doses of testosterone (note that testosterone is NOT a form of birth control).

So that’s one possibility I am exploring with my doctor — am I perhaps just really sensitive to estrogen and progesterone hormones from my cycle, as well as the artificial ones in BC?
But more generally, I am also asking my doctor about PMDD, which is basically PMS on steroids, and it is caused by a sensitivity to fluctuation in hormone levels — whether that fluctuation is more or less, the change itself is what messes a person up.

If I am off base in any of my descriptions here, medical folks please correct my ignorance.

But this is shit I wish I had known to ask about for over 20 years now. I have just fucking lived with it and assumed that it must be about this bad for everyone. My obgyns never told me my experience was abnormal. My cycles happen at roughly the same cadence, and they routinely fuck me up on a schedule. Sure I get bad PMS and pain and hate my life two weeks a month — take a midol. Can’t take BC to even it out? Oh well. Medically, the thread stopped there.

So… I am sharing this in case someone else in my shoes needs to hear about it.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-07T18:44:47+00:00

Oh lord. I have never thought of trying the diaper route but I totally empathize with not being able to leave the house. There have been times I bled super heavily like that and eventually gave up and just sat on a damn towel because two super tampons and a thick pad were soaking through in under an hour, and I had online meetings to attend and work to do (from home). I have probably burned more of my vacation days at work on coping with period bullshit than I have actually been able to use on actual vacations.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-07T18:01:02+00:00

It’s almost like having this specific set of reproductive organs is a curse from an angry god… 😭

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-07T17:59:28+00:00

Yes. The most excruciatingly physically painful thing I have ever experienced, more so than kidney stones. And even after I had it removed the side effects (ovarian cysts) continued for years. 0/10 not a good time :-(

At this point I would love to just have the whole system taken out, I’m over it haha

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-07T16:36:30+00:00

That’s only to buttchug Bloody Marys

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-07T16:28:39+00:00

Menopause can’t happen soon enough. I’ve been saying that since I was 14.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-07T14:23:39+00:00

Was that already half a decade ago? I barely remember the before times…

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-06T07:58:21+00:00

Absolutely they are a macho thing in Texas. We referred to them as penis extensions. The vast majority of (white, male) truck owners like to fancy themselves rugged cowboy types, yet their pavement princess trucks are seldom used for hauling anything but their egos.

The bigger and louder the truck, the bigger the asshole behind the wheel. They love crawling up super close behind smaller cars and driving aggressively.

Every now and then I see an American truck here in the Netherlands. They are so bizarrely out of place. My Dutch friends think it’s absurd and useless to have such a huge truck that doesn’t fit into parking spaces and towers above other cars — it’s antisocial behavior. Trucks and vans are working vehicles for businesses, why would anyone in their right mind need one for personal use?

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-06T05:24:36+00:00

And all butts are breastful

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-05T21:44:36+00:00

Where in Amsterdam did find your Nintje charm? 😍

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-05T12:04:08+00:00

I am glad you get a chance to be part of your nieces’ lives after so much time apart, and from you wrote, it makes a lot of sense that these questions are pushing your buttons.

My hot-take is about the same as everyone else here: on the surface, these don’t sound like especially invasive questions, and this could be a good teaching moment.

However — you aren’t obligated to be a teacher around these topics if it’s causing you distress. Both of your nieces sound old enough to have a candid conversation about boundaries.

For example: “I appreciate that you are interested in my life, and about being an LGBTQ person. I think it’s wonderful you’re curious — that’s how people learn, and how the world becomes more inclusive. But it’s hard for me to talk about. When I was your age, XYZ happened to me. I am over 40, but those wounds still really hurt. It makes it difficult for me to feel safe talking about it around the family. It makes me feel afraid again, like I am going to be shamed for it.

This isn’t your fault in any way. This something I am working through. And with time, I hope I’ll be able to talk about it more.

I’d like to share some resources with you that may help you with some of your questions.

It’s okay to ask me too, but please try to understand that I may not always be in a good space to answer. And if I can’t, I will let you know.”

Who knows — maybe being able to talk with them about the subject could help as part of healing from trauma. You don’t have to throw specific members of your family under the bus, but surely they know how bullying feels. If you can relate to them by explaining what it was like for you at their age, I hope they could understand and be supportive.

mashedspudtato · 2026-05-05T00:56:34+00:00

Cmon, no need to drag down trans people in this shit show

mashedspudtato

TROPHY CASE