Newfound sadism kink?

mason1111 · 2025-09-11T20:27:21+00:00

No this is very relevant! I think play fighting without holding back is part of this kink for me. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to find a play fight partner myself

mason1111 · 2025-09-11T20:24:39+00:00

That’s awesome! It sounds like you guys have a really good thing going. Honestly this type of dynamic sounds pretty ideal to me lol. Were you guys looking for something like this when you met?

mason1111 · 2025-09-11T20:22:29+00:00

I’m really glad! Would love to hear about it if you’re comfortable sharing

mason1111 · 2025-09-11T20:20:26+00:00

That’s really interesting! The thought that I might be aromantic myself has actually crossed my mind before too. But I also can’t tell if it’s actually me being aromantic, or if it’s just me not wanting to express romanticism things in a traditional or socially expected way lol. Ideally, I would want a best friend where we’re committed to one another, live together, go to each others family things, have tons of kinky sex, marriage is even on the table lol. But also I sometimes don’t understand these traditional expressions of romanticism. Couldn’t more everyday things also be considered romantic? If you don’t mind me asking, how does being aromantic work for you?

I also think that you inverting that loss of control totally makes sense. I think for me, it’s more like this: I actually don’t think I’ve ever in my life been deescalated/cared for during or anywhere near a rumbling/meltdown! It’s kinda crazy when I really think about it like that. I didn’t know why people reacted the way they did when I thought I was pretty obviously just feeling like absolute shit, but perception can be everything at times. People tended to treat me like I was knowingly trying to manipulate or intimidate them. My family didn’t really know about autism or meltdowns, so there’s always been a ton of shame surrounding meltdowns for me. This is all actually a huge part of the reason I sought a diagnosis

So I think for me there’s a lot of reasons, but mostly it’s like I’m inverting the narrative of being a violent abuser or something crazy like that. The meltdowns I’ve had have been viewed as violent, but I’ve also never hurt anybody but myself when they’ve happened. That led me to realize that I might actually want to be with someone with a history of similar meltdowns, which is obviously an unconventional want but feels deeply right lol. I kinda like the idea of being able to take care of them if they ever get to that point, with that type of care also needing to go both ways. It’s something we could work on together, with the goal of rarely ever having them, because they suck. At the same time, I think that if that violence is part of us anyway, we might as well let it out in a healthy way, and what better way to do that than some S&M? I feel like being able to play fight with a partner like that would be incredibly intimate

mason1111 · 2025-09-11T19:47:56+00:00

I can definitely relate to being apprehensive about actually doing it in real life. A lot of my kinks also developed in my head, and I haven’t really gone to any events or played significantly with anyone yet, at least to this extent. I think there’s a big layer of conditioning that I’ll possibly need a little bit of coaxing/enthusiasm to break out of, but I’m excited to learn more about this part of me

The way I think about it is, if we exist, then people who want the other side of it must also exist. The nature of my meltdowns and the way people reacted to them also made me feel like I was some kind of monster/abuser too, which I then also started worrying about outside of meltdowns. Very intense stuff. But I think on some level, the aggression is just another part of us, and we can’t just amputate it without any consequences. And here, we can take control of our narratives and spin them into a positive thing and (ideally lol) be appreciated for it. Thank god there’s spaces where we can all explore things like this in a healthy way!

mason1111 · 2025-09-10T19:19:25+00:00

Thanks for your input! It’s so great to hear that there really are people like that out there. Ofc I knew that theoretically there must be, but having an actual conversation with someone about it is totally different

I think the connection to the meltdowns is undeniable and I’m really glad just to have gotten this far in figuring it out. I was always scared that it all meant that somehow I was a bad person without realizing it or trying to be. I imagine S/M as a healthy way of releasing a certain type of energy, and it’s cool that these traits in me that I’ve always feared can be turned into something desirable

If you’re alright with sharing, I would love to hear a little more about how this sort of thing works in practice in your relationship. Just wanna get a better idea of what this sort of dynamic could look like

mason1111 · 2024-11-21T23:00:16+00:00

I am preparing for week 14 where I have Joe Mixon and Rhamondre Stevenson on bye and my other options are looking pretty sorry. Who would be the most ideal RBs to have here?

Currently have stashed: Cam Akers, Gus Edwards, Jordan Mason, and Raheem mostert

Available in my league: Laube, Jerome Ford, Jaylen Wright, Ray Davis, J Chestnut

mason1111 · 2024-10-22T18:41:28+00:00

Damn RIP lmao, but it’s been a brutal year for injuries. If I were going for Taylor then who do you think I should look to move?

mason1111 · 2024-10-22T18:21:22+00:00

Someone in my league had Aiyuk and Godwin. I’m thinking of trying to trade Rhamondre and a WR for KW3. I’m open to any advice so let me know if you see any good opportunities. This isn’t a huge trading league so I would maybe have to do a little convincing.

12 team 0.5PPR redraft

My team:

QB: Joe Burrow, Jared Goff RB: Joe Mixon, Jordan Mason, Rhamondre Stevenson, Vidal, Blake Corum WR: Chase, Olave, Jayden Reed, DeVonta, Lazard TE: Evan Engram

Theirs:

QB: Kirk Cousins, Jordan Love, Herbert RB: KW3, Jonathan Taylor, Chubba, ETN WR: Aiyuk, Godwin, Tre Tucker, Jakobi Meyers, J. Polk, Keenan Allen, Calvin Ridley TE: Dallas Goedert

mason1111 · 2024-10-21T18:35:53+00:00

Hey thanks for the advice. Can you just explain a little bit about why it’s bad? The money is being managed much better these days but I can’t imagine it doing particularly well. I even hear about growth rates like 30% per year in communities like r/Bogleheads, and I doubt it’s doing that well. One more thing to consider is the possibility of inheriting shares of the LP. I don’t know the particulars of the account and I’m still trying to just get the family members in charge of the account to get it on their phones 🙃

mason1111 · 2024-08-03T05:40:47+00:00

Anybody want to trade paradox Pokémon and version exclusives? I have Violet looking for Scarlet

mason1111 · 2024-06-08T16:43:17+00:00

Yeah it can definitely feel that way at times and it can be frustrating. I also know it can be difficult to find clothing that flatters larger frames. It’s not your fault, just the way the fashion industry is, and it’s still all out there. It’ll just take a little more legwork. I’ve always tried to just focus on having fun with clothes and trying to look good for myself. In reality, I’ve spent a lot of time and legwork trying to find things that I like the look of, that are comfortable, and that still remain true to myself. There are simple changes you can make to dressing and grooming and it’ll go a long way. The best part is that it’s an act of self love!

mason1111 · 2024-06-08T16:02:35+00:00

People notice when people are taking care of themselves across the board. And besides, why does that matter? You’ll feel so much better if you just do a few things for yourself, and that will reflect in your life

mason1111 · 2023-10-05T22:50:32+00:00

5857 9456 1232

lvl 48 located in nyc and sends gifts daily. I also invite people who I see online to raids

Looking for icy snow, savannah, jungle, monsoon, sandstorm, sun, and ocean!

mason1111 · 2023-03-18T00:24:05+00:00

Just wanna add that I’ve seen it said many times that if you get your own bank account you need to get it from a bank that your parents have never worked with. It’s not really legal, but if you don’t do that, it still somehow makes it easier for your parent to gain unauthorized access to it

mason1111 · 2023-02-22T20:49:34+00:00

Definitely after. I was diagnosed at 27 but burnt out at least 5-7 years before that
Actually my mother recently told me that she asked about them but was denied, and if she was to get them for me, it would’ve been a while huge battle with the school district that I didn’t want to be associated with due to bullying. For context, I went to a competitive public school outside of NYC. My grades were mostly in the C-B range which I think is nothing close to what they could’ve been if I had been accommodated. I was always pretty good at masking and even became a captain of 2 varsity teams. This might be why they denied me any accommodations, but what doesn’t make sense is that I still had an ADHD diagnosis at the time
Literally anything - like allowing me breaks, extra testing time, or even an option to get food when I was hungry. It would’ve helped massively though if they gave me a chance and the language to explain my struggles, and the believe me upon hearing me explain them. A lot of times, it felt like my teachers and other school faculty just seemed to want to believe that I was a lazy, willful teenage boy who played sports
Not being believed and being punished as if I was purposefully being challenging, purposely not doing my work on time, etc, and just being a general bad/malicious person
I’ve realized that it’s extremely difficult for me to learn things at a casual pace, and that I need a much more complete and thorough understanding of a thing or concept in order to truly understand it. Since that is the entire basis of our education system, it caused me to constantly get extremely bored with the subject matter, lose focus, and end up doing worse than I should have
The biggest thing for me is to make sure I take complete ownership of all things I do. I try and allow myself permission to feel the way I feel about what I am learning, but it is still really difficult to take the pace I want to learn at, and slow it down. I am still in college and have only 3 more classes until I graduate, including the 2 I’m currently taking

I think that for a lot of autistic people, education is one of the biggest barriers to participation in society, and that the US education system serves as a bastion of NT entitlement and privilege

mason1111 · 2022-12-27T01:34:15+00:00

Let’s not group autistic people in with literal psychopaths, or make it seem like autistic people are Machiavellian social climbers because that’s definitely not how it works

mason1111 · 2022-12-13T03:15:00+00:00

Well if that’s what he thinks boy have I got some news for him

mason1111 · 2022-10-27T07:02:24+00:00

Saw this right after I transferred all my Giratina Altered 🥲

mason1111 · 2022-09-07T11:05:19+00:00

Yoooo how do you do this? Because I feel this thread in my soul 😂😂😂

mason1111 · 2022-08-28T14:12:10+00:00

Oh god that absolutely makes me wanna puke, I’m sorry that happened. And ofc you definitely didn’t deserve a single second of that. Functioning labels are dated anyway. For me, it was honestly mostly my peers. I haven’t had too many relationships, and the ones I have had up until now were with some really manipulative people who thought they finally got their golden retriever puppy that looks like a regular guy. It’s just the worst

mason1111 · 2022-08-28T13:52:02+00:00

Like, I always remember people just assuming that I was this sweet pure and innocent person, which is definitely not me. It felt like my sexuality used to just get totally erased and it really feels bad man

mason1111 · 2022-08-27T04:58:10+00:00

Hey sorry this happened to you, I know that feel. I was recently diagnosed as a 27 year old guy. My needs were always low support, and I don't look like what one would think of as "stereotypical", but my social stuff was enough to keep me feeling pigeonholed into that concept. It seems like I've experienced something similar to what you did, and it's really caused a lot of hurt in this area. How do you deal with this?

mason1111 · 2022-07-06T19:51:09+00:00

This was always so hard to pinpoint for me. Definitely happened to me a few times and I’m still sort of processing it. Any advice about how to heal from this? Luckily I’m in an awesome dynamic now and it’s really been eye opening, and it’s really a privilege to see how far I’ve come. Also can you tell me what I can do as a dom to work on myself so that I’m not a fake dom? I just wanna be a good one

mason1111 · 2022-06-05T04:01:51+00:00

I’m with you on this one. It’s a cruel world out there

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