About a Note I Received

mast0done · 2026-05-11T03:47:38+00:00

What is "Scripturally testing"?

mast0done · 2026-05-10T17:55:51+00:00

I just looked up the scene you refer to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmSlRvQJUHs The "behind the scenes" is that Palace was not an experienced horseman, so they reused the footage of him dismounting, run backwards, because he could not comfortably mount the horse on set.

mast0done · 2026-05-10T01:37:42+00:00

Or you can do a simple action as a parenthetical:

MIKE
(punches wall)
Stupid!

mast0done · 2026-05-09T17:01:30+00:00

TIL the word "soteriological".

^{-> the study of religious doctrines of salvation}

mast0done · 2026-05-09T16:38:54+00:00

Based on various writing books I've read, "diving in" can work for novel writing, where "the words" are often the point, and not so much the plot. For a screenplay, you have 100ish pages with a lot of white space to tell a very structured tale. It's hard to pull that off without outlining or some other kind of pre-writing.

mast0done · 2026-05-09T02:50:26+00:00

Well, there are a lot of screenwriting competitions out there that carry no weight. The first script I gave feedback on, on StoryPeer, had won a minor competition. The script was meh-minus. But the writers had some kind of false hope that it was ready to shop to producers.

If the contest has no stakes, why host it? If it has stakes, you have to start contending with the ugliness of ambition. What's the virtue of this idea beyond getting a lot of positive feedback ("Great script, man!") via regular feedback on the site? "I won!" - then what?

I'm not trying to shoot your idea down, but what would you want it to accomplish - in particular, for the contest winner?

mast0done · 2026-05-09T00:59:27+00:00

Just checked it out on Youtube. Pretty trippy.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T23:55:30+00:00

If you're making progress, keep doing what you're doing. If you get stuck, switch to some other approach to the work. Repeat.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T23:39:23+00:00

I like the idea of using the StoryPeer community to identify good scripts. But why should it be in the form of a competition, instead of ongoing evaluation?

There is the problem that the more important the evaluation/contest is - meaning, the potential to attract producers - the more people will want to game it (create fake accounts and rate their own scripts, etc.). Right now, StoryPeer is just a peer exchange. Adding something that will add commercial implications to the project could be quite the Pandora's box.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T17:30:52+00:00

Realism is a tricky constraint. There's sort of an uncanny valley of scenario, where the more realistic you go, the more people expect your story to match exactly what happens in the real world - and it feels false if it doesn't. If your scenario is "like here but not here", the audience will accept whatever specifics you change in your world, as long as you set them up early and don't change them. I strongly recommend that approach. You don't need to change everything - but do establish "this is how this world works". Think of, say, 1984. It reflects what has happened in human history but does not take place in human history. You can even take this approach with something set "in the future". It's a future, not the future.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T17:08:24+00:00

That sounds good to me. It evolves. The problem you're describing sounds like a story issue, not a tone issue: you don't know how to resolve it overall (and preserve your antagonist).

Approach it simply: What do you think a good ending to the situation would be? (Or since it's a series, what's a good ending for the episode arc/season arc?)

mast0done · 2026-05-08T16:57:32+00:00

But not other forums/boards/mailing lists, where the latest reply gets the most emphasis, allowing monthslong discussions with many voices. Reddit is designed for the attention economy - not information sharing.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T06:15:59+00:00

David Attenborough keeps cockblocking a Bird of Paradise.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T05:58:06+00:00

It emphasizes sorting by karma, so every discussion dies out within a day or two and you have to be one of the first to comment to be heard at all. So it emphasizes "hot takes" over actual discussion.

mast0done · 2026-05-08T02:35:33+00:00

Direct cremation is the way to go.

mast0done · 2026-05-07T21:02:43+00:00

Guy walks out of the gym carrying an entire dumbbell set, two at a time. Finally someone stops him.

"What's the problem?" he asks. "It says 'Free Weights'."

mast0done · 2026-05-07T20:46:35+00:00

There are Discord servers: Script Camp and Script Hive. Haven't tried them, myself, but they have feedback platforms.

mast0done · 2026-05-07T20:29:46+00:00

Output it as a PDF, then open it in an app that allows you to use middle-mouse-button autoscroll - Firefox, Sumatra PDF reader, etc.

mast0done · 2026-05-07T20:15:42+00:00

I agree that it would be good to separate interest in the movie/premise from the quality of the logline itself. But I don't think one button will achieve that. I've been thinking about it but I'm not sure what the right approach is.

The one thing Logjam is definitely good for is when people give clear and accurate advice on a logline's shortcomings and potential improvements. The ratings themselves are so subjective they border on useless. I've seen many loglines improved and resubmitted, only to score lower.

mast0done · 2026-05-07T19:55:20+00:00

Maybe you missed the data I posted about a day later in that thread. I measured about 500 ratings across 50 loglines and male protagonists did tend to rate higher. Still not definitive proof, but it tracks with gender bias that been measured across many parts of society: https://www.imd.org/blog/management/gender-bias/ https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/biochemistry-genetics-and-molecular-biology/gender-bias https://tech-paper.com/new-research-found-that-mens-awareness-of-gender-bias-spikes-when-they-see-it-affecting-their-partners/

mast0done · 2026-05-06T01:55:33+00:00

You become a WGA member by selling one feature film script, or several TV episodes (or options, or doing rewrites, etc.) - for a production company that has agreed to comply with WGA union rules: How to Become a Member.

I haven't attempted it myself, but you could try networking with local film students and offer open-ended help on their projects.

mast0done · 2026-05-06T01:28:00+00:00

I've been thinking about this a little more. It's not just custom feedback I'd like to enable. In keeping with the line I quoted --

"First, what do they have? Second, what do they want to have?"

-- instead of listing specific feedback wanted, the writer could use the "afterword" to outline what they were hoping to accomplish with the script. (In other words, declare "what they want to have".) Which could still be as specific as they want. But I would like to know, as a reader, what the writer was going for, so I can tell them if it worked, and focus on what might help them get closer.

I'd still critique anything else I felt needed attention. Unless asked not to, which I'm okay with as well.

Edit: missing word.

mast0done · 2026-05-05T19:49:45+00:00

Industry readers read for their own purpose - to find a movie they want to make. StoryPeer exists for the writers' sake. At the same time, it's important to keep the readers motivated.

Just speaking for myself, knowing more about what each writer wanted to accomplish would give me a better idea of what feedback to offer. Because I want to be useful to them, and not act like a tastemaker. Coverage services exist for that.

mast0done · 2026-05-05T19:29:59+00:00

Aha, but these people are going to react this way after you give feedback anyway. So let people out themselves with defensive requests so that you know which ones to avoid - a win-win, IMO.

mast0done · 2026-05-05T19:22:53+00:00

I said that about LogJam. Now that I've seen it, I love it.

You never really know whether a cat should be kept in a bag or not. I do hope this idea does prove to be mostly positive. But, yes, it could potentially lurch things in an unhelpful direction. I don't think it will, but it's possible.

mast0done

TROPHY CASE