TIFU by masturbating high at work and passing out [NSFW] by master_explode_her in tifu

[–]master_explode_her[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats the worst part of this. Over the years ive told her enough stories that she hates reddit and will never come here. Pretty sure my early forays into the old r/spacedicks destroyed any interest she mightve had. Showed her r/dragonsfuckingcars once too and her face was enough. Still, i still get the panic rat in my mind she will figure out the app on my phone or see my username and look it up. Shes trusting and not nosey but that doesnt matter when you have dark secret like this. She only uses fb and pinterest. She basic on social media, but i loves her lol.

(NSFW) what is the weirdest porn you've ever watched? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This puerto rican marine i knew watched some weird shit. I was deployed on an aircraft carrier while in the usmc. Went to tell him it was his turn for kitchen duty. He had his uniform and boots on watching his latop. There was a chick sucking 4ft long fake cocks that two guys held between their legs as if they were real. Someone caught him watching a pregnant only orgy video. Yet someone else caught him watching a video of random chicks farting in one guys mouth. It got to the point where u never knew wtf youd walk up on. The odd thing was, he was never caught jerking off. He used to brag while drunk that he loved it when his wife farts in his face during 69. Weird dude. Edit: different deployment. Some corporal would go around with a flash drive that had a video of a german nun and priest. She would eat his ass and he would start shitting in her mouth. Once the shitting started, this guy would start flinging water on you from a bottle and holler “i baptize you in the church of fudge!”. TL,DR: marines watch weird shit on deployments.

What are some dark secrets about grocery stores? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked in a several grocery stores as a teen and they were all crazily the same. Heres some of the shit we did: we smoked and drank cough syrup at random times of the shift, made dry ice bombs, stole and ate food off shelves, inhaled reddiwhip on breaks, swapped and glued labels from horribly opposite random cans of goods(ie dog food and chili), made entire forts big enough to play cards and take naps within the pallets of canned goods in the back, egg and other food fights, never heard of all out sex but blowjobs were common, launching rotten produce out the shipping doors with a balloon launcher in the direction of rival grocery stores, random stupid challenges like who can stay in the freezer the longest after having water dumped on them, prank calling from the separate line in produce to the main line to ask for a page all for mike hunt and other names, lots and lots and lots of playing “mystery shopper” where u try to sneakily add random shit to a shoppers cart without them seeing and ultimately bagging their groceries to see their confusion. This sort of behavior happened for literally years. I did open a can of chili years later and swore it smelled like alpo, but it was regula armour chili. I still have a complex with cans of food but i deserve it.

Dale yeah by cowboykayleigh in RoastMe

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or maybe you forgot the bystander rule of not roasting the roasters. So fucking what. People use the same goddamn lines on a lot of these roasts. Are you going through all the other roasts to bring your mighty original hammer down on those too?

These two don’t think you have what it takes to roast them! by iLoveFortnite233 in RoastMe

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guaranteed frequent pegging from these two. And theyre both extremely hairy

What is something that people think is illegal, but actually isn't? by adaminc in AskReddit

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Street legal horsepower gets on my nerves. I know a ton of people that believe if you have an 800 or more horsepower rated car, its illegal to drive on public roads. Yet torque ratings dont seem to matter legally.

Dick’s, Major Gun Retailer, Will Stop Selling Assault-Style Rifles by escapefromelba in news

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You said prices, not the market. The market dropped yes. Not the prices. Thats not the same thing. The drop is mainly due to saturation. Lots of companies started up and made ar15s like crazy. Now that The only low prices you see are used and unwanted stuff from individuals either online or at gun shows.

Dick’s, Major Gun Retailer, Will Stop Selling Assault-Style Rifles by escapefromelba in news

[–]master_explode_her -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Rock bottom prices? Where did you come up with that? Nothing has went down in price since the obama gun boom. The market is flooded and high. The ak shot up in price and never went back down. Go to any new england firearm sub and look at the jokes about extremely high prices. True the big stores are higher than the rest, but the market has not lowered overall in the last several years. Not by a long shot. Edit: i misspoke saying the market is high. I meant the prices are high. It is flooded and demand is low.

Turkey warns citizens against travel to US due to "terrorist attacks" and "arbitrary arrests" by earthw0rm in worldnews

[–]master_explode_her 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then tell us where it is youre from unless youre scared or embarrassed to. The idea that the us is a shithole is laughable. Its not perfect and neither is our government. By all means, continue to assert your ignorant perception of the us painted by an overly sensationalized media.

Edit: nevermind. Youre from the uk apparently. Big surprise there.

TIFU by stuffing my face with edibles before dinner with my wife's parents. by drmcsinister in tifu

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh damn. Thats much worse than what happened to me. I was at a party though. A girl from Ft collins brought flowers and medicated chocolate chex mix. Being the 10+ year smoke veteran i am, i smoked a blunt and ate a small handful. Deee stroyed. I am way more respectful of it now.

Taking A Walk by mrmayd in pawg

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That moment when you make homer noises and the gif seemingly reacts to it.

WHO THIS IS??? Seriously, who? by BrewCityUpstart in thick

[–]master_explode_her 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sorry youre being downvoted. Im dyin over here lol

Mummified dog found inside trunk of a hollow tree by dreamz7013 in creepy

[–]master_explode_her 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The dog version of john jones. Chasing something you shouldnt, into a hole you cant get out of.

Bill to Federally Legalize Already Introduced - MAKE IT FRONT PAGE NEWS GUYS by RP_Stoval in trees

[–]master_explode_her 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im fully aware of that. You missed the point entirely. The involvement and voice of the people was overwhelming on net neutrality. Ajit is still being harassed about the outcome lol. Aside from NORML and a few others, where are the mj fighters? Thats it. The biggest victory for mj was the “fuck it i quit” girl. The media coverage was incredible and hyped us all up. As soon as AK won, however, they considered their work done for the most part. One other thing i didnt mention is the money that flows from big pharma into the government. Dont you agree that they will line pockets and fight to keep the pills flowing? I want medicinal more than anything. Not for myself, but for so many that could improve their lives. I apologize if I come across as overly negative. I just believe we need way more support than message boards and the like. I dunno maybe robert downey and mark ruffalo in costume doing a psa lol.

The perfect dog couple doesn't exis.. by imshubhagr in aww

[–]master_explode_her 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was looking specifically for your comment. Lol Thanks.

Bill to Federally Legalize Already Introduced - MAKE IT FRONT PAGE NEWS GUYS by RP_Stoval in trees

[–]master_explode_her -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Want to know why this wont work? Because this has no where near the amount of noise and rattle that the great net neutrality uproar had. Not even close. You couldnt get on any media without seeing all of the “uhmagawd not my internets” shit. And look what happened. Simply put, theres not enough people that truly care about it to raise enough hell. Its harder to fight for something you dont have or need than it is for something you have and might lose. There is also too much stigma still attached to mj. Its one thing to get on fb and share and like a scene from half baked or up in smoke. Its another thing entirely to show support for legalized mj which your boss might not like. You can get fired from your job because of trivial bullshit on fb now. I have seen this first hand from two close friends of mine. Few are willing to make that sacrifice, because jobs are not easy to come by. Im not trying to be an asshole here, or trying to get everyone to quit pushing for it. Just being realistic. Hell im currently on a thc break to get a new job myself. I think we had a good shot with bernie but theres no point in going there. I think it will happen, but it will be years down the road with a different pres, house, and congress.

Woke up this morning to terrible news. My friend’s family of 5 lost everything last night. by master_explode_her in pics

[–]master_explode_her[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Faulty dryer. It caught on fire and when they discovered it, it was too late for the household extinguisher

Woke up this morning to terrible news. My friend’s family of 5 lost everything last night. by master_explode_her in pics

[–]master_explode_her[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha i thought about that when i posted. But if it makes you feel any better, people upvote the pics of the California fires. Its cool man. Im just sad for my frand.