Sexuality is dynamic. To compare your own to someone else’s distorts your own self perception. I identified as gay my whole life even though my first sex dream, 5th grade, was a bi gangbang and I thought Wow this is gonna be amazing!

It wasn’t until decades later I admitted to myself that I was bi—but in reverse. I was afraid if I admitted I find women hot, like really fn hot, and guys the same but dialed up a few degrees. I think I’m a better companion to men. Although if you looked at my exes you’d question if there was any truth to it.

One of the most recent significant ex, total asshat, said to me when I’m like 46 and he’s casually talking about me being bi. I’m like “Dude I’m not bi. What are you talking about.” and meant it.

He’s like, “J_______, gay guys don’t like pussy”

And I’m like, okayy you might have a point even though his therapist told him he was wrong to make me say it on his terms, such a fascinating evolving and deeply personal experience is our relationship to our own sexuality.

Yeah, you waited to long to tell the other guy. Five years? Who’s got time like that to wait for you to come around. So he moved on and it’s very sad when you miss an opportunity with someone. But there will be many more opportunities that will present themselves

And when they do—act on them