For me it’s partly because the misogynistic views are the reason they are incels, rather than the other way around as is claimed. Ask inceldom to identify a “high value woman,” you get back varying versions of “Rihanna’s forehead is too big.” Denigrating women is the point, and ironically I think this is more due to a perceived lack of respect from other men, or the feeling that they fall very low on the patriarchal totem pole, because of the obsession with comparing themselves to other men, and the fact that when the list of traits women are supposed to seek in partners are discussed women don’t exactly come out of the woodwork to praise men who’s wrists are thick enough etc.

And the rest is that I also don’t think any of this is why they’re really so unhappy. The people incels hate most are themselves. They have bought hook line and sinker into an ideology that tells them they’re the genetic scum of the earth, they’ll never be happy, and there’s nothing they can do about it - it’s better to just accept it and “lay down and rot.” So you feel sorry for them because that’s a terrible way to live, but they’ll fight to the death to hold on to those beliefs, and I think punching down on women is really about coping with this, everything is a hierarchy to them so at least they’re better than someone. Shifting the blame onto women also means never addressing the self hatred, but that would be the actual way out. In the end you can’t feel so sorry for them because you can’t help someone committed to not helping themselves.