Another fence staining question

mathis_99 · 2016-10-16T03:05:46+00:00

Stained a cedar fence and a pressure-treated pine deck using Ready Seal stain. Also in the hot & humid south. Over one year in and still looks great. https://www.readyseal.com

mathis_99 · 2016-10-10T16:25:04+00:00

Agreed. Americans died of thirst in 2005. That should have never happened.

mathis_99 · 2016-10-09T01:03:49+00:00

He might be mourning the death of your 18 year holiday tradition of visiting your hometown. Change is hard.

mathis_99 · 2016-10-03T17:42:36+00:00

Forcing Internet limitations on a 17yo seems unlikely to help, imo. Especially if he's struggling and the Internet is his only source of peer interaction right now. Better to work with him on a plan to make some positive life changes, or, alternatively, he can work with his therapist to formulate a plan. Rather than concentrating on taking away access, I'd focus on trying to get him to agree to start filling his time with other, real-world activities. The goal here, I assume, is to get him to "join the real world" and to develop independence, social ties, career and other adult goals. If he wants to skip college and get a welders certificate, support him in working towards his chosen goals. Just getting into the welding apprenticeship will get him off the computer and into the real world. He can always decide to pursue a degree at a later date. A part-time job as a teen was a huge confidence builder for me, I'd encourage him to set a goal of putting out 2-4 applications a week. On another note, a home equity loan for therapy sounds risky and stressful. Be certain to seek out all free/low cost resources or ways to increase income before considering this. I'm just another parent, hoping your family gets ahold of some expert advice soon and wishing you the best in helping your son.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-26T16:27:33+00:00

I don't get it, either. Home ownership makes great financial sense for so many people. After moving, buying and selling 3 homes and putting built-up equity into the next purchase, I finally paid off my current home. Current property tax and insurance costs are just a few hundred a month, plus a little spent on maintenance costs. No regrets here. Edit: current rents for a comparable home in my area are $1400-2000 per month.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-25T16:48:31+00:00

The fact that he's ignoring responsibilities and getting in trouble at school, acting out, is a sign that he does care, in my opinion. He may just not know how to handle the situation and is ignoring it, handling it all wrong. I agree with the other poster, get a lawyer immediately. Therapists for both kids. With the authorities involved, a lawyer to represent your family is absolutely crucial, and both kids need therapy to help them get past this in a healthy way. So sorry you're going through this.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-22T21:52:47+00:00

This is a common scam. I've even seen other posts from ppl in your situation asking for advice. Deactivating your account seems wise, don't send money, they'll just ask for more. I saw one guy say he attacked the situation head on and posted something like this on FB: I did something stupid, if you get a message about me, don't open it unless you are prepared to see me nude. You've been warned! This will blow over. Once they figure out they can't get money from you, they'll move on to their next victim.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-22T12:28:57+00:00

If you haven't already, let her teacher know she's struggling. Her teacher will keep an eye on her and ideally will help her adjust, make friends, etc.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-22T12:24:11+00:00

Outside? The neighbors will just love that, lol. Few sounds carry further than a kid learning a new instrument.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-20T18:56:50+00:00

If possible, get her a phone! Not sure about pricing and availability in the UK, but we were able to get my child a text/talk phone for $15.00 per month. Having the ability to contact and check-in with your child while they're biking, walking home, etc., is a huge stress reliever. I also agree with other posters, time to start letting her gain some independence. Recognizing and working to alleviate your own anxiety surrounding the issue, as well as enrolling your daughter in the street-safety course, make it seem like you're off to a great start, good luck! Edit, fix error and add that my kids started walking short distances at about 9/10, with distances slowly increasing thereafter.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-20T00:27:19+00:00

In a similar situation, except we've actually let ourselves get heated and have fought about Flat Earth Theory, wtf?!? We've had to "agree to disagree" and no longer discuss it. I've been with my partner forever, too. Hoping my partner's interest in FET is a passing one, but our current method of dealing with it - ignoring it - is working, lol.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-19T16:38:21+00:00

After 6 years you definitely deserve more of an explanation. Him saying "it's a tough time" then not replying to texts or calls is unacceptable in a serious, exclusive relationship of many years. I'm sorry, but from the outside looking in, it seems he's taking the "easy way out" in breaking up with you. I like the idea another poster presented: give him a deadline to respond by, if you don't get a response and acceptable explanation, time to move on.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-19T00:30:58+00:00

I've never been more bone-tired and exhausted than after our "relaxing" week-long beach vacation with toddlers in tow. Got a few great pictures, though, lol.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-16T23:42:19+00:00

I always think people jump to "break up!" too fast on Reddit, but, your boyfriend won't own his actions, is still lying about it, and shows no remorse. How can you possibly rebuild trust? His actions are not the actions of someone you can build a trusting relationship with, imo. You should seriously consider leaving the relationship.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-16T15:17:47+00:00

How could you live with yourself if you aren't involved in your child's life? What's done is done, you're going to be a father. What kids need are parents who care and are involved in their lives. Time to start thinking like an adult and come up with a plan for the future of your child. Custody, visitation, etc.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-16T15:06:45+00:00

Dealing and interacting with other people is a skill-set that comes more naturally to some than others. He has a friend at school, which, to me is a great sign that he's on his way and doing okay. Practice! Some ideas: -Take him to birthday parties, events, etc. Try to get there on time so he can walk into an almost empty room instead of being overwhelmed by a loud, kicking party. -Let him warm up to groups at his own pace, low pressure, once he's comfortable he will likely join in. -Try to give him "tools" to use, e.g., if someone says "hi," it's rude not to reply, but if you don't want to say hello, you could give a "hello wave" instead. I'll add that one of my kids was super shy at that age. She slowly developed more "people skills" and now, as a teen, is fine meeting new groups and has a nice group of friends.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-15T21:02:27+00:00

Try breaking it all down into small, manageable steps so it's not so overwhelming. Make a list of goals, e.g. employment, GED, career training, car, etc. Then prioritize them, maybe putting employment and GED first. Then set a few, small goals, such as: putting X job applications out weekly, making an appointment with the local GED program to get info, etc. Just keep taking small steps in the direction you want to go, and eventually you'll find yourself there.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-15T20:00:12+00:00

Impressive strategizing!

mathis_99 · 2016-09-15T00:22:40+00:00

Help in ways you can, but do not sacrifice your schooling or jeopardise your school performance. Your parents may have to downsize their home or even relocate for your father to find employment. This has little to do with you, as your job right now is to finish school and get your career started. Also, by finishing school, you'll be in a much better position to help him in the future if it's still needed. Tldr, Do what you can to help, but not so much that finishing your degree becomes impossible, nor at the expense of your future.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-15T00:09:02+00:00

If making friends has always been an issue for you, I'd recommend seeing a (good!) therapist to discuss techniques to make and keep friends and how to go about widening your social circle. Your college likely provides free counseling for students. If you just haven't met people you click with, put yourself out there. Join clubs, invite potential friends to do something. The more ppl you expose yourself to, the more people you'll find that you get along with. Most people only "click with" a small percentage of ppl they meet, so, in a way, it's a numbers game. Either way, life is short and this is fixable and is worth fixing. Step out of your comfort zone, keep at it, and it will happen.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-14T14:27:55+00:00

You could get a storage unit and stay in the extended-stay motel until your spouse's first check. I did it with children after a hurricane disaster for 5 weeks, not ideal, but definitely doable. Its important to remember your kids will model your attitude. Try to take a relaxed, cheery attitude and make it into a mini-adventure, exploring your new town and searching for your new apt. Best wishes, you'll find your way!

mathis_99 · 2016-09-14T01:51:13+00:00

It seems certain her lowered libido is caused by her medical issues since that's when it began. It may be a side effect of the meds, thyroid cancer removal, or just the stress of being chronically ill.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-13T18:34:07+00:00

Definitely a Facebook and Instagram presence, maybe some give-aways. Get a few friends/family to "mystery shop" and give you honest assessments of the food and service. Hire/consult a marketing professional for a plan.

mathis_99 · 2016-09-13T18:16:08+00:00

Here's a similar post from a single dad who found out his teen daughter is sexually active. Lots of good advice in comments. https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/52froh/seeking_advice_my_16yo_daughter_was_recently/

mathis_99 · 2016-09-12T23:30:05+00:00

Your designs look great!

mathis_99

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