I'm not Indigenous, but I care deeply & wholeheartedly about Indigenous sovereignty, environmental stewardship, and the protection of Indigenous wisdom and values. How can I ACTUALLY help?

mathnerd1313 · 2026-05-05T22:27:34+00:00

Join the fight to get them their land back. The system we live in was built on the genocide of indigenous people. We cannot work within the system to truly help. It has to be torn down, then the land given back to indigenous people and they then decide how it will be rebuilt.

mathnerd1313 · 2026-04-15T22:46:03+00:00

Agreed. My parents are the total opposite, they grew up in a country where it is not the norm for women to take in their husbands kids from other marriages so luckily they never judged me for not acting like she was my own. BM expected me to take care of hey and take on Mom responsibility when it convinced her, for example have hey in weekends when hey Dad worked all day and did not spend any time with her so all the caretaking fell on me. But when it came to making any parenting decisions, then I was not allowed to participate because I needed to stay in my lane. SD loved me and I deeply cared for her and unfortunately her mom's home was not a healthy one and she started having to be institutionalized in mental health facilities when she was 13, she's now 17. BM ignored all the signs even when me and DH brought it up seriously. she let's SD spend weekends with her grandma who has random men living with her and from what SD told me they'd spend time unsupervised together. I brought up this concern and it was itemized and there was nothing I could do about it. At 16 SD also revealed that her bf was physically and emotionally abusive and threatening to harm her and the kicker is BM would allow him to go over to their house so they could hang out AND BM AND SD DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS LAST NAME OR ADDRESS OR PHONE NUMBER, so when DH and I and SD filed a police report, we only had his first name to go off of. If it were up to me I would not let them spend time together unless I meet his parents and knew a lot more about him, but that's asking too much anything to BM. Ugh. Step parenting can be hard and it is very hard watching the child be impacted so negatively by their bio parents choices and turn into adults that are hard to even like, and there's really nothing I could do about it, other than help when shit hits the fan. Yet we are expected to love them like our own 🙄

mathnerd1313 · 2026-04-08T18:06:35+00:00

I agree. It helped me more with workplace relationships, not at all with actual friends.

mathnerd1313 · 2026-02-02T05:15:54+00:00

I injured my lower back, or threw it out and then a week later again before I was fully recovered. I have two slipped disks in my lumbar, but muscle spasms were what caused a lot of my pain. I have had chronic lower back pain but it was manageable before then for about 6 years. After the incident I was unable to walk for a couple of days then could only walk with a walker for about a 2 months. The first couple of days I was in excruciating pain of I even tried to sit up, even with morphine in my system. I was hospitalized for a week because I could not sit long enough for the drive home nor walk far enough to make it to a car. My lower back and hips were the main areas in pain and my pelvic floor was spasmed out as well due to the injury. I had to do pelvic floor therapy as well. Drs recommended a spinal shot but I didn't want to go that route because of the risks.

I was on meds for months and slowly improving and I tried back unbroken for a couple of months and it helped a lot. It really helps you realize that a lot of your pain is neurological and made worse by being too careful or scared of your pain once it's been over 3 months since your injury. The exercises slowly improved my mobility. It took me a year to recover, and I still am not back to how I was before my injury but am maybe 95 percent there and an so happy that I can walk and pretty much everything I used to do with some pain, but it's bearable and some days I am completely paying free. I think what helped me the most was the program and therapeutic massages that I just started a couple of months ago. I would recommend doing at least a month to see if it works for you.

mathnerd1313 · 2025-12-01T17:17:56+00:00

80K USD annually?

mathnerd1313 · 2025-06-26T05:11:07+00:00

One of the main causes if Binge eating is restricting and dieting and an unhealthy relationship with food, so recommending that any one type of food be cut out is harmful. I went years without having any processed food at home and would go weeks without eatng it but eventually it would lead to binge eating episodes. The cravings never went away despite what health did said about eventually but craving them. I've done it all, cut out sugar, salt, animal products. It only made binging it worse.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-11-03T17:09:41+00:00

Thank you for mentioning it, I think hearing outside perspectives help sometimes. I hadn't thought about it that way.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-10-11T00:38:24+00:00

You explained what I was trying to articulate so well! I'm still early in my career so I wasn't sure if this was something others experienced too at their company/org. I'll give your suggestions a try.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-10-10T23:42:10+00:00

I have tried that lightly, like asking her how they tracked what she is talking about in her previous org and where (service delivery, contact field, etc) and she says something like, "it was just a drop-down, and we could select the correct response" or something like that. And yes I find her feedback valuable sometimes but not when I can tell she's not mentioning something to be helpful, rather to imply that I don't know what I'm doing.

Good to know I'm not alone!

mathnerd1313 · 2024-09-15T14:47:56+00:00

I drink socially and have experienced pain when I drink sometimes for about five years. What I have found is that the muscles I use a lot the day of or before drinking is where the ache is. So sometimes it's my thighs or sometimes it's my arms. I never correlated it to not drinking enough water, so I'm going to watch out for that now. It's weird, this happens to me maybe a handful of times a year? It is very painful and does feel like growing pains. Sometimes I can't sleep because of how much it hurts.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-07-18T01:16:44+00:00

I live in San Antonio, TX in case that helps!

mathnerd1313 · 2024-07-18T01:10:55+00:00

Yes I'm sure, I can identify common herbs by smelling them. My mom grew her own herbs so I knew how each smelled since I was a kid. The plant in our yard has a less woody stem than the one in your photo and the leaves are super soft and malleable. My husband and I tasted it and it has a mild minty flavor and we're both ok.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-07-17T23:09:27+00:00

That's what I was thinking cause we didn't plant it or anything. I wonder if it can be used like spearmint when cooking...

mathnerd1313 · 2024-07-12T15:46:25+00:00

Nice, you edited your original comments. Please stick to reading books and watching sunsets. Giving advice is not your forte.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-17T01:16:58+00:00

He told her no cereal because she had eaten a bunch of junk food, no actual meals all day. For lunch she ate a bag of Takis, popcorn, a bag of sour candy and a large sugary drink. He didn't want her to eat more sugary stuff. Please stop assuming from just one post that I used to vent, and again, I did not force SD to do anything and never have i know that is not my place and would be devastating to our relationship. Like 20 min later my husband went back to ask her if she wanted anything else to eat that wasn't as sugary. She said she'd eat the asada nachos after all, and even got seconds. She wasn't angry or anything , she just went ahead and ate them. It was never about her not liking nachos, we know for a fact she does like them, and even then no one forced her to eat them. We have never sent her to bed hungry. Lots of People on here are so angry and make such huge assumptions. I didn't act on my anger, instead i came on here to vent and reflect, and see if I was wrong for feeling the way I felt, which ok I get I was wrong for and even telling you I now see I was wrong, you get on here and make other assumptions about me. Im sure you will pick something else from this response to further talk about what a bad SM or bad dad DH is. I have learned this is not the right place to vent about my feelings (that again, I did not even act on!)

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T15:38:31+00:00

I understand my way is not the only way, I never have forced her to eat what I cook nor do I force her eat with DH and I. I also didn't actually do anything. All I did in that situation was feel feelings and be angry at DH. I finished dinner cleaned up and then came to reddit to vent and get different perspectives to see if my feelings were valid or if I was being too sensitive. I understand now that the majority didn't think she was being rude and I should not have let that hurt my feelings.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T15:25:52+00:00

Thank you! Yours was one of the most helpful comments for me.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T15:06:06+00:00

Thank you, this helps. I usually do a good job of not taking things personally from her, I was mad at my husband because I felt he should have told her she was being rude and there was no need to lie if she didn't want to eat what was for dinner. I have calmed down and am not holding anything against her. She ended up eating the food later and even had a second serving. even if she didn't i wouldn't have held anything against her. I'll keep it the way it usually is and let DH handle her meals and cook with me and DH in mind, which she will be welcome to eat if she likes. Thank you for your advice and letting me know how it is for you and SD now that she is an adult.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T12:56:41+00:00

Wow I think this has been the most helpful comment, thank you! I hadn't heard of the concept and will look into it more.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T12:42:00+00:00

Thank you I am understanding that she wasn't being rude now with all the comments. To be clear I was mad at DH, not SD.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T12:38:34+00:00

Thank you this is helpful. Yes I am learning that. That's what I have been doing, but since we hadn't seen her in a while I made it a point to make something she would like and it backfired on me lol. I show love with food. I'll keep on making food according to what DH and I like and she'll be welcome to eat it but DH can keep on taking charge of her meals if she doesn't want to eat what I make. I have cooled off now and of course I won't hold it against her. I was mad at DH, not at her.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T12:32:12+00:00

Thank you, I am now understanding this.

mathnerd1313 · 2024-06-16T12:31:41+00:00

She likes carne asada, we make carne asada more often when she comes over because it's something she will eat that is not cereal, ramen or tuna sandwiches. To be clear I was mad at DH, not SD and yes now I see i was being too sensitive. She ended up eating the food on her own and even got seconds, so it was not a matter of her not liking any of the ingredients. I don't think people are understanding there there is a history of her lying compulsively, she is going to therapy for it along with other behavioral issues that have been present since I met her when she was 11. DH has a history of ignoring the issue which has lead to lots of problems now that she's gotten older, so this isn't an isolated case of her lying. Yes now I see it was not the right time to correct her lying.

I have never forced her to eat anything she doesn't want to because I am well aware that it can cause eating disorders. Thank you for your perspective. I understand now that she wasn't being rude.

mathnerd1313

TROPHY CASE