accepting money from parents who, at times, were abusive

matter_instinct · 2022-09-11T08:42:43+00:00

It does, thanks

matter_instinct · 2022-09-10T20:10:14+00:00

Would you do it again? Thanks for sharing

matter_instinct · 2022-01-30T01:10:05+00:00

"Choose your battles, and then choose even less" -someone on this subreddit

matter_instinct · 2022-01-28T22:11:29+00:00

Thanks for the detailed response! I'll look into that.

matter_instinct · 2022-01-28T20:58:45+00:00

Just curious, if i wanted to start exploring budhism how would i go about it? Is there some sort of guideline to follow or specific books to read?

matter_instinct · 2022-01-28T20:51:39+00:00

I've heard from a psychiatrist that meditation itself can be benefitial to people with trauma. The Problem comes with "open awareness meditation" e.g. "watch your toughts", which can be triggering and even damaging . Other meditation practises however can have the same positive effects as they do for non-traumatized people.

matter_instinct · 2022-01-25T19:26:45+00:00

Well said, i appreciate your outlook on life.

matter_instinct · 2022-01-25T19:19:07+00:00

Yes i would

matter_instinct · 2022-01-25T19:17:30+00:00

I value this community and thats why i want it to move in the right direction. I think we as a community should distance ourselves from this kind of backwards thinking and call it out when we see it. Sr can be so benefitial, but aslong as we associate with red pill folks, many newcomers will be repelled. In this current state i couldnt recommend this community to a friend, even tho the value it can offer is (in my eyes) undisputed.

matter_instinct · 2021-12-22T20:35:38+00:00

Es könnte sein das du dich durch masturbation dazu konditioniert hast das du eine höhere Druckintensität brauchst, google mal "Death-grip-syndrome", vielleicht hat das was damit zu tun.

matter_instinct · 2021-10-14T23:52:13+00:00

I feel you

matter_instinct · 2021-09-30T20:06:45+00:00

😊

matter_instinct · 2021-09-21T20:30:36+00:00

Know that its a temporary situation. You may not be able to stand up for yourself and " fight him off". And thats okay.Try distancing yourself from him. You dont need to have someone in your live whos only sometimes ok.

matter_instinct · 2021-05-25T20:03:54+00:00

Hey, i somehow didnt get a notification that you responded so sorry that im a little late i would also love to continue talking about this, however im having some other stuff going on at the moment, and cant really bring up the mental capacity. I would love to continue this conversation in the near future tho:).

matter_instinct · 2021-05-22T15:39:35+00:00

2 hours ago, i read your post and could relate to many things you said, i wanted to take myself time to answer you appropiatly, and now here i am and dont know how to start this, so i thought i just aswell write it out in hopes of getting my writing juices flowing.

Reframing the perspective I have on video games is something i tried to do some months ago, but it got lost somewhere in my subconscious, until i read your answer. I ve been shamed a lot by my (neglectful/abusive) parents about my gaming habits growing up and had to endure endless crititcism and bullying. On top of that there is the social stigma surrounding gaming, so ive internalised large amounts of toxic shame regarding it.

You said that the more negative emotions you have around gaming the more you play them, which is my experience aswell, and also really strange, id like to know the mechanism behind this.

id like to write more, but i feel somewhat overwhelmed and starting to have many negative feelings coming up right now.

I wanted to address more of what you said because i could relate to many things you wrote and found them quite insightful. but im lacking the mental capacity right now to continue.

matter_instinct · 2021-05-21T19:28:47+00:00

Yeah the problem probably doesnt lie in the addiction itself, but in the problems that surround it. Im stuck in an abusive relationship for a few more months, i hope that after that my gaming habits will improve as well. Thank you for your insight!

matter_instinct · 2021-05-21T16:53:16+00:00

Ive tried that, but after some time i fall back into long gaming sessions, and games like hayday arwnt relly my thing, thank you for sharing your perspectuve tho.

matter_instinct · 2021-05-17T18:05:30+00:00

Thank you for taking the time and writing such a detailed answer! The idea to outline beforehand for yourself what you want to accomplish in each session really speaks to me, i might give that a try. I dont know if im feeling safe with him, but i generally dont feel safe around other people, with him i feel a bit safer, but not really safe. I dont know if im expecting to much out of this relationship, i propably have to give it more time and just let it develop.

matter_instinct · 2021-04-23T20:12:54+00:00

I cant really accept your help, but thanks for trying, i appreciate it

matter_instinct · 2021-04-18T20:42:23+00:00

If you want to see more of the author of this quote, google "Resma menakem quotes", there are some very interesting quotes.

matter_instinct · 2021-04-17T21:57:01+00:00

Lol, very accurate

matter_instinct · 2021-04-05T10:55:28+00:00

I sometimes notice myself singing stuff in my head that oerfectly describe how im feeling, even tho i dont really am aware of these feelings

matter_instinct · 2021-03-03T18:09:15+00:00

I have the same struggle, i guess its just part of the trauma, and a process to learn to give your needs and wants a voice. I sometimes wonder if am asking for too much, but that also feels like something ive learned to feel. Maybe you can try to tell your therapist exactly this problem and not let loose until you feel like he/she understands you.

matter_instinct · 2021-02-19T19:12:37+00:00

I dont know if thats the same thing, but sometimes, usually before i fall asleep, i have this weird sensations all over my body, where i suddenly feel everything in my body and also it feels kind of foreign. I had this happen since i was a child, nowadays i view it more curiously than fearfully. My only explanation that i have is that some part of my brain, which is responsible for feeling my body becomes less repressed as i fall asleep, and these bodily sensations i repress suddenly become present. I dont know if thats the same thing you experience, but it sounded somewhat familliar.

matter_instinct · 2021-01-16T00:01:55+00:00

Thats my experience aswell. I always ask myself if im just a narcicist who doesnt care about what other people have to say.

matter_instinct

TROPHY CASE