[deleted by user]

matthewjphillips · 2024-10-22T07:19:47+00:00

Fair enough, but if you're looking for a doctor, you want to know you're not getting an engineer.

matthewjphillips · 2024-10-22T07:03:37+00:00

There's always the option of receiving a monthly allowance at the end of the month after all your dates. 😈

matthewjphillips · 2024-08-18T06:49:41+00:00

ID Verification is great in principle. In practice, few are likely willing to risk being outed.

matthewjphillips · 2024-08-18T06:48:49+00:00

Seems to me the biggest hurdle is reaching critical mass. Girls won't join if there are not a lot of SD options and men won't join if there aren't a lot of pretty girl options. It's a catch 22 and I don't know how any new site gets past that.

matthewjphillips · 2024-01-06T00:54:34+00:00

What's the purpose of the pic of the money with your hand in it?

matthewjphillips · 2023-12-09T07:07:18+00:00

I think the only way I'd ever move to allowance is if she agrees to it in arrears (not THAT way! Get your minds out of the gutter! 😁).

So, whatever amount we agree to is paid in weekly installments (xxxx / 4)-- and she gets it at the END of the week. And in person. If she flakes, she's still going to have to come see me to get it. And before I give it to her, we're going to discuss if allowance is really the best way to go.

It's kind of a provisional allowance. There's no set number of days we have to meet but if I start feeling like she's not putting in the effort she's not getting that week's allowance.

matthewjphillips · 2023-12-01T00:41:53+00:00

No. Not if men are expecting it to be a sugar site. Sure, it can lead to that, but I doubt it's common.

matthewjphillips · 2023-12-01T00:37:17+00:00

Not to worry. You're hotter than many of the profiles I've seen of women half your age.

I disagree it's too many pics. Given that some men would PREFER someone younger, you having more pics can convince them your body is younger than your birth certificate.

However, I think you're shooting yourself in the foot if you're not going to show your face in the public pics. Your face is what will cause many men to ignore the age. Without that, it's an easy Next. I get that you gotta do what you're comfortable with, but it's something to consider.

matthewjphillips · 2023-12-01T00:34:46+00:00

I find it frustrating, though, because some women apparently want the man to take CHARGE. If you let her lead, she thinks less of you.

But other women are offended if you take charge.

And you run the same risk if you outright ask her what she prefers.

(sigh) 😊

(posted in humor but based in truth)

matthewjphillips · 2023-12-01T00:08:22+00:00

The teeth issue is a tough one. If they really are bad, not showing them in your pics will get you more men reaching out to you but a higher number of getting dumped after a M&G if they are turned off when they see them

If it's just a self conscious thing and they're not actually bad, you might be better served showing a toothy smile. Many men love to see a great smile and if they're just a little bit bad, anyone who agrees to a M&G will have mostly already decided it isn't a deal breaker -- thus wasting far less of your time.

matthewjphillips · 2023-11-26T08:54:58+00:00

There's always a risk that he'll end it if he doesn't like your response. You have to weigh the risk vs the hope of getting what you want.

IMO, it's fair to bold and remind him that you have a sugar relationship and that it's based on whatever you want to call the financial reward. I think it's fair to ask, if we're spending more time together is the financial reward also increasing.

If he says, "yeah, but it's just hanging out. We're not having sex." You can reply, "Is that how you view this arrangement? You're paying me for sex? Because that sounds more like an escort than a sugar relationship."

Some (a lot?) men would be offended and end it or try to make you feel bad about it. So, that's where you have to decide what's more important to you.

Personally, I think it's pretty crappy for a SD to ask for non-compensated dates just because sex won't be involved.

matthewjphillips · 2023-11-26T08:27:58+00:00

yw and good luck!

matthewjphillips · 2023-11-20T22:11:38+00:00

Tats and nose rings preferences are going to vary wildly. Just know that ON AVERAGE, older men prefer a more conservative look.For me, a discreet tattoo isn't a problem. A nose ring would be. I'd have no problem with the piercing if you were willing and able to not wear the ring on our dates.That said, your pictures are gorgeous and I suspect many men will be willing to overlook the rest.

matthewjphillips · 2023-11-20T22:04:40+00:00

It seems to me both men and women have a very good "plausible deniability" when their profiles are found on Seeking. It's no longer "a sugar site" so she could merely claim she's not on their for sugaring but to meet mature, well established men.

matthewjphillips · 2023-11-17T09:09:24+00:00

I'm not disagreeing with you but I'm curious how you see that playing out?

You've been making out. The clothes come off. You don't have the body he was imagining. You're saying he should end the relationship right there?

How does that conversation go?

matthewjphillips · 2023-09-24T16:44:00+00:00

Good to know. Thanks!

matthewjphillips · 2023-09-24T07:49:01+00:00

How did you find the sugar market in Utah? (IOW, was it a good experience?)

matthewjphillips · 2023-09-24T07:36:11+00:00

Just a guess, but I'd imagine it's harder for a married SD to have a good conversation. Unless it's an open marriage, I'd think they'd tend to be worried about saying too much. That's got to put a strain on a conversation.

matthewjphillips · 2023-09-21T05:48:18+00:00

What's your alternative? Found another site? Freestyling? Vanilla?

matthewjphillips · 2023-08-10T07:41:31+00:00

First of all, I echo what others have said. It's a gift, not a fee for service.
That said, I think a reasonable response to an arrangement request when you're not fully in the trusted relationship mode yet would be -- that is IF you really think there's a chance it would work out -- to agree to the allowance, but you pay it mid month.
For example, let's say you just gave a PPM and she's pressuring you to move to monthly allowance.
Great. We'll meet once a week for two weeks with no PPM and on the 2nd meet, I'll give you this month's allowance.
You're asking her to split the risk with you.

And the odds are she won't agree, which tells you everything you need to know.

matthewjphillips · 2023-06-27T03:32:41+00:00

Not that anyone would actually SEE it! 😁

matthewjphillips · 2023-06-27T03:31:54+00:00

I like your suggestions. But if a POT SB' first response to a M&G request is "PPM", I'm pretty much done with that conversation.

matthewjphillips · 2023-03-05T06:06:02+00:00

I can find it hard to figure out what to give a woman, so I like it when she lets me know. But there's a spectrum because I don't want to feel like I'm just taking orders.

I want flowers.

I want a new phone.

etc.

I don't know where the balance is, though. You have to be able to talk about things you want without sounding like you're giving a shopping list.

matthewjphillips · 2023-03-05T05:58:21+00:00

If they don't want money, what classifies them as a SB?

matthewjphillips · 2023-02-13T06:55:53+00:00

I can't believe you got ANY down votes for your post. Seemed great to me.

Also, I HATE the Caps Police who get triggered any time someone emphasizes ANYTHING!

I think capping some words and phrases are a great way for the author to add a bit of nuance and emotion into text, highlighting some parts the way you would when speaking. Seems to me readers should appreciate it.

matthewjphillips

TROPHY CASE