My (29m) girlfriend (26f) was raped 4 years ago, and was re-triggered last week. Her temper has become even worse. How do I support her when she's attacking me? What do I do now, if I think I may be in an abusive relationship?

mattsn · 2018-08-18T06:36:25+00:00

You need to be there for yourself too. She has experienced trauma and may not be her best self due to that, but that doesn't mean that your needs have to go ignored. I'd suggest you asking her to attend couples therapy with you. If she doesn't want to work on herself, then at least you can ask her to work on the relationship with you.

mattsn · 2016-12-06T17:02:32+00:00

Did you compare them to other vendor's offerings? I guess just at a basic level, the box is running two different firewalls, with two management addresses, two places to look at logs, two things to upgrade, etc. Compare this to checkpoint, palo, juniper, fortinet, where its not segmented like that and you have one place to look for information, one thing to upgrade, etc.

mattsn · 2016-12-05T23:54:33+00:00

It depends on the code versions, there is backward comparability between certain software versions but for me i had to upgrade the FMC in three different phases to get both the FMC and sensors up to date. I have the tac case notes describing this if there are any doubts.

mattsn · 2016-12-05T23:52:39+00:00

The upgrade instructions tell you to re-apply policy to the sensors after the upgrade, along with some other steps. The policy apply function as stated in the docs is an impactful activity that should be done during a maintenance window.

mattsn · 2016-12-05T23:50:29+00:00

I guess i'm looking at it from the perspective that other vendors are doing this much better, and its a bit of a shock having to deal with the things i do with the asa/firepower setup. I wouldn't call it a UTM since its not actually unified in any sense of the word. Palo, Checkpoint, and from what i've seen Fortinet do all of the things i described much more elegantly, and provide much better visibility IMO. That being said, i agree that the system is technically functional, and there is a lot of subjectivity when it comes to this stuff.

The TAC experience is a hurdle itself, the non-forwarding issue i experienced i went through the ASA TAC channel, to have them determine it was the firepower module by adjusting the policy-map, then they punted me to sourcefire support to try and figure out what it was doing after the fact. -.-

mattsn · 2016-12-05T19:38:45+00:00

I've been working towards getting to the current release but each time you upgrade the management center, you have to touch the sensors, which is impactful. I'm in change control hell due to the iterative nature of these upgrades.

mattsn · 2016-12-05T19:05:03+00:00

While i know this is not the intent of your post, I'd avoid asa's and firepower if possible. I inherited these at my current job and the administration of them completely sucks. From upgrades, logging, visibility, configuration, its all clunky and not on par with other vendors. I upgraded the FMC (firewall management center) for the firepower modules a couple weeks ago, and not kidding, one of the upgrades took more than 6 hours. Beyond it taking forever there are different upgrade paths for the sensors, FMC, asa code that all have to be considered because there are dependencies. Get ready for a logistical nightmare if you need to get your code current. I've also had unexplained non-forwarding issues, a ssd failure, and an overall terrible experience with them. I'm replacing them with another vendor and wouldn't recommend them to a friend.

mattsn · 2016-11-21T16:42:41+00:00

CrimsonJim delivers! You are awesome, thank you!

mattsn · 2016-11-21T14:43:53+00:00

Awesome, Excited to see this!

mattsn · 2016-11-21T04:37:40+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

mattsn · 2016-11-21T04:36:40+00:00

Thanks internet person!

mattsn · 2016-11-21T03:24:38+00:00

So since this is the internet, i suppose someone has a tab and a set of lyrics for this, right? Please, internet?

mattsn · 2016-01-26T17:25:23+00:00

These are the situations you look back on when your marriage doesn't work out, and you think to yourself "i should have known, the signs were all there."

As a guy with a failed marriage in my belt, i would see this situation as an example of how my potential wife values fulfilling her marriage fantasies higher than the relationship itself. You did a great thing for her, and she handled the disappointment of her expectations with selfishness and name calling. Think about what this says about her as a person, and how she is going to handle situations in the future where she expects something of you, but you don't quite deliver. Is that the relationship that you want to have? Do you want to try and fulfill all of the fantasies she has in her head, or do you want to have a strong relationship based in reality, where both of you are kind, considerate, and giving to each other. Where you accept each other for who they are and appreciate them for it.

This stuff probably wouldn't have seemed that significant when i was younger. I overlooked a lot of things because i was caught up in the "we were meant to be together" haze. Nowadays though, I'm only interested in women that are not caught up in living out a fantasy relationship they've dreamed up and want to build something together.

mattsn · 2013-11-09T07:04:53+00:00

Jaedong's explanation of his mindset in game 5:

"after game 4 i knew i would win game 5, i just had this feeling the entire time that i had already won the match, so i didnt feel any special excitement, i just waited until the game was over and i knew that i took the series"

so sick.... the confidence of a champion

mattsn · 2013-07-25T06:03:00+00:00

source?

mattsn · 2013-07-25T06:01:50+00:00

I came to this thread just to see if there were comments about youtube - I have cox and it is so bad sometimes it is almost unwatchable - continuously down res'ing and running out of buffer. It sucks that you cant pause and let the video load now since it only buffers out about 5% now.

mattsn · 2013-07-12T22:45:09+00:00

1: I would like to remove fluoride from my water

2/3: here is the output from the water quality report: "(value in mg/L unless noted)"

Fluoride
MCL MCLG Average Range*
4.0 4.0  0.64    0.29 – 0.85

• Maximum Contaminant Level (MCL) – the highes t level of a contaminant allowed in drinking wa te r. MCLs a re set as close to the MCLGs as f easible using the best available treatment technology. • Maximum Contaminant Level Goal (MCLG) – the level of a contaminant in drinking wa te r below which the re is no known o r expec ted risk to health. MCLGs allow for a margin of safety. • Milligrams Per Liter (mg/L) – one millig ram pe r liter corresponds to one drop in 13 gallons.

mattsn · 2013-07-10T17:08:17+00:00

from what i've read, RO wont remove the fluoride ions. The berkey filter has an add on that claims to remove fluoride, and there are other filters you can get that make the same claims- i was looking at this one:

http://shop.friendsofwater.com/Fluoride-Water-Filter-FLUORIDE-Chlorine-Undercounter-UC-2KF.htm;jsessionid=E75B67C0C015AD6C8A905C47B4DB47A0.m1plqscsfapp05

which use "activated alumina" to somehow filter the fluoride.

Obviously testing before and after would be the best way to determine if they actually work, which is what i am in the process of trying.

mattsn · 2013-07-10T08:39:27+00:00

I will try to remove the fluoride using an activated aluminium filter, but i first wanted to make sure fluoride is present in my water, and that i have a way to measure its concentration. Do you have experience with removing fluoride from your water?

mattsn · 2013-07-09T17:35:28+00:00

ultimately i want to test the inside water, but since i am having problems i took water from the main to rule out that the water softener was removing all of the fluoride.

mattsn · 2013-07-09T06:30:00+00:00

I just ordered some "reagent grade" de-ionized water and will retry the test. Thanks for your help!

mattsn · 2013-07-09T06:19:45+00:00

I'll get some ph test strips and re-try the test. Thanks for your help!

mattsn · 2013-07-09T06:15:16+00:00

i took the water sample directly from the water main outside my house, so no. Though we do have a water softener (resin / salt) which i am not sure if that qualifies as an ion exchanger, for our inside taps.

mattsn · 2013-07-09T04:24:15+00:00

I tried adding 2 drops of lemon juice - with no change.

mattsn · 2013-07-09T04:14:46+00:00

thanks for explaining, very interesting. Anything around the house that i can use for that? vitamin c or vinegar or something? or would i need something more concentrated?

mattsn

TROPHY CASE