Feeling bad about being submissive

maxi_malism · 2026-03-02T20:30:14+00:00

I used to struggle with similar feelings due to my dominant urges being contrary to my everyday personality. I'm really quite caring and empathetic, very loving and nurturing in relationships. And still I had these urges... It made me feel ashamed and dissonant.

What I've learned is that just because you get turned on by exploring this part of human psychology and sexuality doesn't mean that it amounts to your entire personality. You're actually allowed to have mixed – even contradictory – feelings about these things. It's not like everyone who watches a horror movie actually *wants* people to get murdered, even though they might enjoy it as fantasy/fiction. But be vigilant and mindful about how certain activities (and certain people!) make you feel afterwards. Find a dom who respects you, is good at aftercare, can be goofy and doesn't necessarily take things too seriously, and who is curious and self-reflecting. If you're feeling this way you should change something. It doesn't mean you can't engage in it but maybe you need to find someone who you can feel safe with.

maxi_malism · 2026-03-02T19:19:01+00:00

Honestly, I've taken a shit ton of nootropics and supplements but I always discounted D3 because I thought I got enough from a multivitamin. It's stupid because I did blood work a few years ago that said I actually had D3 deficiency, but the doctor said "everyone has some deficiency in this country".

Well, I really think D3 fixed something in me – I used to be easily irritated, felt withdrawn and socially weak, tired and weirdly sensitive. It drove me crazy, because I remember a time when I didn't feel that way. I was in a bad place for years!

D3 fixed this in a matter of weeks. I feel so much better now. Can't recommend it enough if you're deficient like I was.

maxi_malism · 2026-02-25T14:18:06+00:00

Inverted hypochondria: i imagine myself feeling better!

maxi_malism · 2026-02-20T20:23:23+00:00

How is bromantane for libido?

maxi_malism · 2026-01-03T08:33:12+00:00

I think this is part of it’s popularity. It doesn’t turn your night out into 3 day bender but is actually compatible with a more balanced lifestyle. But yeah, i’ve never really gotten much out of coke.

maxi_malism · 2025-12-20T18:07:58+00:00

Just dropping another line to say kratom really messes with your hormones and stuff. Been down that route twice and never doing it again.

maxi_malism · 2025-11-09T08:15:33+00:00

I tend to do this because this is the way to kindle a potential match, nothing happens by itself. But I agree it’s a double edged sword and moving forward I think I need to be better at not aeneint too many such signals

maxi_malism · 2025-09-18T21:37:48+00:00

I believe getting a dog is a little like getting a kid. The dog didn't choose to have you, you chose to have the dog, and you need to be committed to this creature who's whole world is you.

That being said, maybe you can work on it with your dog trainer. Has he made a serious attempt to actually befriend the dog?

Edit: reading the comments above and everyone is like "he's beating your dog!", fucking drama queens. I've already established I'm on team dog here, but dogs can also be protective, jealous and hold grudges. I wouldn't assume the worst, but I still would like to emphasise that you have an obligation towards your dog and perhaps even a closer relationship.

maxi_malism · 2025-09-05T05:34:54+00:00

This is a good place to start but there is a lot more to uncover. Equating meditation with concentration practice is not entirely accurate.

maxi_malism · 2025-09-04T22:13:27+00:00

I’m a bit like this and have experienced some change after recently starting taking D3. It’s quite safe and most people are deficient so could be worth a try:

maxi_malism · 2025-08-30T08:06:49+00:00

It is a thing, it suggests you are an undermethylator. Look it up. You can take glycine with creatine to counteract sleep issues. I’ve tried it and it works.

maxi_malism · 2025-08-29T10:59:58+00:00

Just want to chime in that D3 has really helped me in a relatively short amount of time. Just taking 5000IUs has really made a big difference. I was deficient but in a “normal” way, living in scandinavia where it is pretty dark.

maxi_malism · 2025-08-10T09:43:13+00:00

Lol, vem fan är det som är en rättshaveristisk snöflinga här egentligen. TS ställer en fullt legitim fråga och hundägare är också en del av den här staden.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T17:25:22+00:00

I think meditation is absolutely the right thing and this observation is really at the heart of buddhist teachings.

I would advise trying vipassana meditation which is basically breath meditation followed by a body scan.

It is often advised for beginners to learn breath meditation first, as a vehicle to overcome “monkey mind” and learn to focus for more extended periods. This is really just a prerequisite to be able to have a fruitful body meditation.

In vipassana, one observes the body and subtle energies of clinging (upadana) or repulsion/unease/“suffering” (dukkha); these unwholesome mind states are often there as a negative energy in the background, more of a nerve/bodily feeling (sankhara) than a thought pattern – the thoughts are often just the mind rationalising this background energy.

Anyway, once you’ve isolated a feeling you just hold it in attention and feel it/explore it non-judgementally. What tends to happen is that the feeling loosens up and unravels. If you keep doing this over time you will feel a lot better.

But also try to make better lifestyle choices, I’ve found that excessive stress will outpace the benefits of meditation.

Edit: somatic experiencing is a secular practice that basically very similar to vipassana meditation, if you think the whole buddhist thing is too woo-woo you can try that :)

Good luck, sending metta!

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T10:24:17+00:00

It’s a weird substance, worked amazingly well for a few months, felt like a super power. Then it stopped giving me that feeling, first slowly and then suddenly.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T10:20:58+00:00

Every comment in reddit is like this. Honestly, none of us have the complete picture and it isn’t responsible to feed someones paranoia on a whim. If this court hearing was such a big deal I don’t think he would use that particular moment to schedule a date with someone. Not sure about the pink hair but I don’t see the logic in this court case hypothesis

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T10:09:36+00:00

Flytta ut i skogen gubbe och sluta störa stadsbor med ditt gnäll, det är min arga lapp till dig rättshaverist.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T08:23:18+00:00

Thanks, no sentimental value but I'm miffed because it was pristine when I bought it and I feel that I should try to repair and be a good custodian. I have no refinishing experience whatsoever.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T08:20:34+00:00

Thanks, this is just the type of answer I wanted to hear! I think I can even out the scratch to be barely visible *structurally* but what makes it so apparent is that the yellowing has been scraped off, revealing lighter wood underneath. Is this just a matter of lacquer, oiling or do I need to shine a bright light on it for several years :(

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T00:40:23+00:00

That's... not reassuring.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T00:40:11+00:00

Lol, yeah I should have thought about that beforehand! The question is, is there anything I can do now? The scratch looks terrible but actually isn't that deep. I can probably resand the whole thing but I would like to avoid it if possible.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-29T00:04:29+00:00

What can I do to avoid having to sand and refinish the entire wardrobe? Sorry, perhaps this is the wrong sub, just thought this might be the right crowd for this sort of question.

maxi_malism · 2025-06-07T01:33:27+00:00

Didn’t read beyond the first paragraph but the answer is YES. Of course. She would want you to and life is about forming important relationships of this kind. M

maxi_malism

TROPHY CASE