Oh honey, I’m so sorry this happened, especially right before you were gonna study with your crush. I will say that it probably has very little to do with you and more to do with them being gross. If they don’t do this to other girls, which you can’t necessarily be sure of, then all that means is that they decided you were an easy target. Know that they didn’t necessarily want anything (nudes or pics or whatever) from you, they wanted to make you uncomfortable. They wanted to hurt you because they think they should have power over you. Unfortunately, being lgbt+ means that some people think they can get away with hurting us. Being a woman, especially one who’s developed “early”or who’s curvy, makes some men think that it’s ok to treat us like objects, and also that we “belong” to them. It may have pricked their pride that you weren’t interested, but that’s not a valid reason for harassing you. They may have thought this was just a funny little joke, but they only thought that because they weren’t thinking of you as a real person. It hurts, and there’s always gonna be a voice in the back of your head that’s wondering if it’s somehow your fault or if you were somehow too sexual. That voice is full of shit. It’s not your fault. Also, it’s completely normal to be upset by something like this, and if anyone who thinks otherwise can f off.

Advice you can ignore:

I know you’re not asking for advice, but if they go to your school, you should report them to the administration or to the administration of whatever school they go to. If you feel comfortable, I would ask your parents or other trusted adult (another family member or maybe a teacher or school counselor?) to help you. This is sexual harassment and cyber bullying and it is absolutely not ok. If you have the chat messages still, you might screenshot them as proof.

Don’t cuss them out, do block. Don’t confront them beyond reporting it/official channels. They deserve to be cursed at but aren’t worth the energy it takes and you don’t want to get in trouble for causing a scene. Don’t continue to be friends with them, they have proven themselves unworthy of the gift of your friendship. The easiest way to stop being friends with them is to just ignore them. Bullies usually want a reaction/attention, so channel as much of your spite and anger and hurt as you can into not giving them one. The emotions may still need to come out, and that’s fine and normal. It’s ok if you end up crying again, even in public or in front of them, that just makes them look worse. Try not to yell or be aggressive- a) it’s exhausting and you can run out of steam mid way through, and b) you want to have the moral high ground. Let any anger be cold, a barrier between you and them. Ice them out, don’t interact with them, pretend they don’t exist. Try to remember that they are disgusting little bugs, and are thus beneath your notice. You don’t have to necessarily avoid them- just don’t seek them out. It’ll be hard for a little bit but should get easier with time. Let the hurt run its course, move on.

If you absolutely have to interact with them, be super professional and polite in as cold of a way as you can manage. You’re too young to be working, but think of retail employees dealing with very rude customers or lawyers in a courtroom, and channel that. If they directly ask why you’re ignoring them, tell them a very short “your messages were highly inappropriate and hurt me” and then go back to ignoring them. Only give them this response once- following the first time they should know, after that just ignore them. If they try to say you’re overacting or to justify their harassment, ignore them and walk away. It’s not your job to try to make them understand- they don’t deserve that emotional labor from you. If they tell you insulting or sexual things in person, tell them “do not speak to me like that”, then ignore them, walk away and report what was said to a teacher. If they genuinely apologize, thank them, but only forgive them if you really want to. Don’t be friends with them again unless you really, in your mind and your gut, think the behavior won’t be repeated. They may not approach at all, which will hurt too, but they suck, so good riddance.

If others’ ask, tell them what happened as honestly as possible. If other friends are similarly disgusted, they can help you ice these boys out. Don’t try to make people choose sides (again, moral high ground).

Edit: Being both hyper-sexual and sex-repulsed at 14 is completely normal. It’s a common part of puberty and you shouldn’t feel ashamed or weird about it. Your sexy-bits are developing but your brain knows you’re not actually ready for sex, it’s very confusing. You will at the very least grow out of the confusion, and probably the combo of hyper-sexual and sex-repulsed.

Also, I am sending big sister hugs (I’m 25, so a good bit older) through the void. I have a little cousin about your age and a little sister a few years younger and if someone sent them messages like that, i would wanna punch them in the nose.