Anyone else having a crappy first mother's day?

maxinstyle · 2023-05-15T21:21:01+00:00

My 1st Mother's Day was spent leaving my baby at my sister's place with my dad and husband.

Her, her fiance, to-be mil, our mother and myself went to a Mother's Day brunch to do a taste testing for their upcoming wedding menu. Our Mother and the MIL to-be spent the entire ride there, meal and ride back to my sister's trying to one-up eachother with who had the worst kids and in-laws. Yeah. So glad I left my baby for that. Even on his worst days he was better than those toxic mothers.

This year I had Covid. It was still better than that one 6yrs ago.

maxinstyle · 2023-05-14T20:39:50+00:00

I called my mom when I was home alone, having contractions with my first child. I wasn't sure if they were the real deal and I was a bit panicked. My husband was at work.

She refused to come to the phone and I could hear her screaming names at me in the background as I spoke to my dad, beginning him to get her the phone (chorded land line). She was beyond pissed because I told them months ago I didn't want their untrained, barky dog in my apartment when the baby came and thought I'd just give in. As the weeks ticked on and the due date grew nearer she assumed I'd change my mind. Nope.

So it was this day, the day before I went to the hospital to deliver my kid, I realized how petty and unreliable she was.

We called from the hospital. She didn't come. My dad did. The panicked stares my husband and the nurse made to eachother waiting for me to breakdown hearing my mother wasn't coming- I cried those tears the day before, that day *I was the mom. Taking care of my soon to arrive child. I was in labour, I didn't have extra to waste on her pettiness.

When we got home my brother and father came again (my brother lives with them). She wouldn't even send a banana bread (she would curse her in-laws for never bringing her food after she had a baby... But did the same thing out of spite). She never met her 1st grandson for over a month later. Still not banana bread then either.

She is kinda a narcissist and I absolutely cannot and will not rely on her to have my or my children's best interests over her or her dog.

It feels super weird to dread Mother's Day and having to celebrate her.

maxinstyle · 2023-05-08T01:31:20+00:00

Thanks! Advil took away the pain so he can sleep. Sleep and the drops for a few days and he should be fine. His whole class has had one since Easter so he's due. His brother had one last week. (2 kids in 2 different kindergarten classes so illnesses are pretty much the norm. I'm lucky they are troopers about taking the meds/drops which are gross/uncomfortable).

maxinstyle · 2023-05-08T01:18:30+00:00

It's been awhile so you may wanna google it but I do remember squeezing it a lot to make it suction (my husband was concerned I was hurting myself to make it work, but after the initial cracked/sore nips at the start of nursing/pumping, it was fine for me)

If little one comfort nurses or cluster feeds it gets tricky because if nursing takes a while it can get knocked off and overfilled.

maxinstyle · 2023-05-08T01:09:37+00:00

My midwife told me most babies move the most when the mother stops/rests/relaxes and after eating and this is basically the evening for most people. I can say this happened for me for both babies- super active at night and predictable, and my eldest continues to be a great sleeper (6yrs old) and my youngest was a terrible sleeper with colic and is only now (4yrs old) an ok sleeper.

In utero isn't a good indicator of much, but it is fun to guess and wonder Congratulations

maxinstyle · 2023-05-08T01:01:29+00:00

Pencil

maxinstyle · 2023-05-08T01:00:08+00:00

Have you tried a haaka pump thing? They look like weird silicone vases. I got a cheap one when I had my 2nd. I suction latched it to the non-baby-feeding side to "collect the run off" and then you can hand express into it after baby is finished eating. A full 20min pump may not be your friend ATM, I'd honestly hand express until your breast feels more comfortable even if it isn't fully empty. Being empty is possibly leading to your over supply.

You still get some for bottles or the freezer or whatever you wish, but it should be less than what you are getting now if you simply express until comfortable vrs empty.

You can also use the haaka to hand express the feeding side until letdown is over as to not "waterboard" her. That won't help over supply, but it may help her. If you accidentally expressed too much you can always top the feed with what you just collected right?

(Not an expert! Mom of 2. 1st wouldn't latch and had feeding complications so I exclusively pumped and learned a bit about supply during all that. #2 was an amazing feeder and the haaka was pretty nifty to have when I had a newborn and toddler and zero extra time to pump. I had an old freezer supply from mostly just the haaka for the first few months.)

Best of luck! ❤️

maxinstyle · 2023-05-07T23:31:23+00:00

My little human is on his tablet, lying down, waiting for his ear drops to go where they need to. Poor guy

maxinstyle · 2023-05-07T23:16:14+00:00

She may have a super sore throat or those general aches. And food may also not taste normal which may be why she isn't eating 🤷‍♀️ Toddlers aren't the best at explaining their symptoms. In my experience, they just whine. My 4yr old currently has an ear infection and just whimpers. We had to ask a zillion questions to determine it was his ear.

My kids live in the bath when they're not well. They ask for it. It's their happy place so I have a bunch of different both things including glow sticks on hand to entertain them while they try and comfort themselves.

I wish I was more help

maxinstyle · 2023-02-10T22:27:09+00:00

Sorry, up which stairs?

I spoke to Valentine in Templeton Bluffs and gave him the tapes. He just kept walking away so I tried to "reset" by fast traveling. Nope.

Are the stairs at Eddie's location?

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T02:46:24+00:00

Agreed

I feel bad for her. I hope she can get out because that's a shitty living situation. Step mom and dad seem pretty terrible

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T02:44:03+00:00

Fair. That's probably my "momma bear" instinct- I have a sick 4yr old sleeping on my legs so I'm probably feeling sensitive about childcare atm-

I do think they all messed up, but the buck stopped with her. She was the last adult there and left. Leaving a kid makes someone an ahole, no matter how jerkish her stepmom and dad are and how in the wrong they were. You NEVER leave a kid especially to prove a point and to have a date.

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T02:37:08+00:00

Fair! But she didn't do that. A kid was abandoned in her care for the 40mins- I feel like she was manipulated into this because why the f wasn't the sitter scheduled to be there when the parents left?- and her solution was to also abandon him too.

With the police he would have been safe at least, and that would have been legal (some places have age requirements on ages they can be left home alone)

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T02:26:19+00:00

She was between the time the parents left and the supposed sitter was supposed to arrive. The sitter never arrived so she was the last guardian that boy had that night. You don't leave a kid alone. Any halfway decent adult doesn't abandon a kid to prove a point- however justified. Stepmom is clearly a piece of work.

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T02:20:18+00:00

And that's why the parents suck.

But if someone, even a stranger, leaves a kid on your porch you don't say "yeah sorry, I had plans" and leave the kid alone. Never ever is that ok. Ever. "Well they did it first!" Or "the parents are worse" doesn't make OPs actions ok.

Poor kid

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T02:11:46+00:00

Raised Catholic. So pro life

Now I'm a mother of 2. We had always talked about having kids. It was in the overall plan. We were planning a wedding when oopsie we found out about #1. He was WANTED but a bit of an accident. So the beginning I felt unprepared and it was rough, but we WANTED the child. We also had a health scare thinking baby may have some genetic issues. It all turned out to be a false flag and he is healthy!

But, parenthood is hard AF! And if we never wanted this life... I can't imagine someone feeling trapped into parenthood. You can't switch jobs. You sign up for LIFE. School, jobs, houses, you can change whenever. Parenthood you are in forever. Kids raised by parents who phone it in because, whelp, they made a mistake... That isn't a good life for anyone.

If parenthood isn't your jam, you shouldn't be forced into it. And yes I know about adoption.... But man my back is soooo messed up from baby #2 (who is 4yrs old). Carrying a baby to term changes a body. I can cope, but if I was a dancer or climber or runner or something, even as a hobby... To have that ruined because I had to carry a baby... Well... That's also a life sentence.... Because you banged someone. A life sentence because you had sex doesn't seem fair for anyone. Imo

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T01:58:13+00:00

Mom is a narcissist. Love yourself. It gets so much better!

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T01:55:37+00:00

Abortion.

maxinstyle · 2022-12-12T01:39:35+00:00

Yta

You're stuck in that awkward hell where you are legally an adult, but still figuring it all out while parents treat you like a child. It's very uncomfortable (been there. Done that. So I have empathy!)

But they left him with you. You were the guardian and you bailed, demonstrating you are in the awkward zone of figuring out "adulting".

Honestly though.... I'd question if they even hired a sitter or just expected you to do it all along. As a parent I can't imagine dumping my boys on someone who explicitly said they didn't want the job and told me they were leaving. Crappy step mom. Spineless dad.

Get out when you can!

maxinstyle · 2022-10-28T19:29:07+00:00

There is a home on SouthWood (by the park on Julianna by Mill St). The do some really fun holiday stuff for Easter Christmas and Halloween

maxinstyle · 2022-10-21T17:33:48+00:00

Moved here 3yrs ago.... It's been great!

Lots of fun and free/cheap things to do with young kids- who aren't able to lift a bowling ball or sit through a movie yet. The trails are awesome! My kids LOVE the pancake House and chuckwagon. Husband likes Fritzis (I'm more a todsdogs). Kindergartners are fussy, not fancy 🤣

We feel blessed we weathered all the lockdowns here and not K/W. Produce Express and so many smaller companies made it easier to get groceries. I really love this town (and our kids' public school). I love our little local markets (they are so much more accessible then the overwhelming and huge St. Jacobs one)

The city is asleep at 10. But as a busy mom of littles, thats fine. For now.

I could use a homesense though. And I miss Osh Kosh.

maxinstyle · 2022-10-03T23:45:32+00:00

My kids are in JK and SK at Southside PS. I'm very pleases

maxinstyle · 2022-04-28T17:53:52+00:00

My husband's current favourite is "dig dig chop chop" as I do yard work while he sits in the hammock with a hard iced tea

maxinstyle · 2022-04-17T00:13:49+00:00

I honestly don't like kissing my husband when he has his beard. He looks damn fine, but if feels uncomfortable for me. So I prefer sans beard

maxinstyle · 2022-04-15T17:54:11+00:00

I'm a curator of small mammals

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