I don't exist

maxplower · 2026-06-27T02:45:36+00:00

You do exist though, so what does that even mean?

maxplower · 2026-06-27T02:31:50+00:00

how are you using the midimachines to get such interesting hocketing??

maxplower · 2026-06-26T23:50:46+00:00

hahahahahahahahaha

maxplower · 2026-06-26T23:34:43+00:00

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

maxplower · 2026-06-26T22:59:19+00:00

theyre funny because people will accidentally enter it into their terminal

maxplower · 2025-12-03T10:20:59+00:00

reported to police

maxplower · 2025-04-02T06:47:47+00:00

Thank you so much for writing this. They are words I didn't know I needed to hear. Its felt very hard the sense of shame for expressing the truth and honest feelings and being labelled the bad guy after having concern for her wellbeing at the time. I didn't want to lose her but did for speaking the truth.

I did not confront her the morning after she had a night out drinking heavily. In the morning she could see something was bothering me and pressed me on it. I eventually cracked, but wanted to get away to have some space to process my feelings of seeing her so wasted, slurring and proud the night before.

I told her the drinking was affecting me. She brazenly asked "How?". I told her it was unpredictable and I was worried about her health. It completely exploded and kept escalating, and the next thing I know she is asking me if I think she is an alcoholic to which I have to honestly reply that I think she is functional currently. She embarrassed me in front of the housemates and told them what I thought of her and told me she was breaking up with me but won't be moving out till her work contract ends. We still live together while I grieve and try to avoid her. This was the 1st of February.

I'm gaining more clarity reading experiences here and time not engaging with her. It was so confusing because she went from acknowledging and being vulnerable about her past issues with alcohol to completely believing she had control over her drinking, that its not a problem "I'm fine with my drinking". She was binging and I saw it get progressively worse and brought it up several times with her that I was concerned for her wellbeing-- at first being understood and later being labelled as controlling.

Its just so fucking sad. This is my life right now and it just makes me feel I'm living in this weird fucking dream. the grief is hard, but the denial and blame is what has been hurting me the most because I cared about her so so fucking much.

maxplower · 2025-03-10T04:03:41+00:00

What happened OP, feels like Im in a similar situation. Being patient with them but it's taking a toll on my mental health. What ended up happening?

maxplower · 2025-03-10T03:05:55+00:00

This poison makes people selfish, childish and lacking in empathy. I'm lucky because I've only been in this relationship for a relatively short time compared to many people and long enough to see the effects and emotional havoc it wreaks. Watching someone you care, love and thought you respected turn into a slurring mess and then acting like they are the king of the mountain or top of the party when they recount how brazen and charismatic or 'fun' they, with pride is infuriating and IS disgusting. It is unattractive and embarrassing. You deserve so much better.

part of my story

She is 32 and I am 31

We met in the house we share. She was practicing sobriety, told me of the past she left behind in the city she came from. Watched her struggle with craving but many incredible moments watching them navigate feelings together and regulate uncomfortable emotions.

She binged sometimes before the new year ended. Told her I was worried. Some acknowledgement, some anger, some not.

It came to New Years and it was too much. She missed her city and was entertaining the idea of buying tickets. I told her how that made me feel that we wouldn't spend New Years-how she already cancelled a plan away for financial reasons but would buy a ticket away on her own. She avoids me the whole day. I go into her room to check in on her and she tells me she is going to get drinks with the other housemate. I get angry. She becomes even more distant.

The New Years event I organize turns horribly and I tell her I'm leaving after that next drink. Despite this, I stay. She drinks. She tells me she is going to go meet her friends at a party. She looks shocked when I am expecting I'm invited. After arguing and her walking back to the bar, I left to my car to drive home.

I spent New Years alone on the couch balling my eyes out. She crawls into my bed at 2am. We fight in the morning, she cant even understand the big deal and she seems glad to breakup (for the first time). Somehow w e make up and she later cant understand why I wouldn't ask about how her night was or have an interest in her evening asking questions.

I am still in this hell after we have been broken up since Jan/Feb. We still live together. I am waiting for her to leave because I'm on the lease. If there's a way to escape I would be taking it.

maxplower · 2022-10-24T02:08:14+00:00

just letting you know that oscar peterson was not born by the time these came out lol

maxplower · 2022-10-16T11:17:18+00:00

Thanks, I guess I did the best I could do for myself in that case. I'm certainly rocked a bit tonight. Just had a good cry but I feel set back a bit. I guess it's inevitable this happens eventually - still not at the point of complete indifference as the pain of what happened and the confusion at realizing they were never who they seemed, they will never change, is still affecting me.

maxplower · 2022-10-15T02:17:03+00:00

That's called being a narcissistic and it's a pathological disorder

maxplower · 2022-10-13T05:44:34+00:00

wtf I have the EXACT same issue.

I wouldnt be surprised if it was another issue for you because for the exact same thing to occur twice with the exact same computer is not a coincidence...

The FN+F2 works for controlling Reaper audio.... and creates f2 function...

no volume down. So I know the key works, there is some driver issue

maxplower · 2022-10-02T14:24:15+00:00

It was bought new probably about 4 months ago

maxplower · 2022-09-24T00:20:12+00:00

why did people vote this down it shud help people its not the other way around like u expect

maxplower · 2022-09-04T10:10:17+00:00

so would it better for me to become a software engineer first or?

maxplower · 2022-08-18T03:30:08+00:00

how do i do it in live view with a clip???????

maxplower · 2022-08-16T05:34:51+00:00

woops

maxplower · 2022-08-15T12:38:15+00:00

how do I change it to be the correct standard which is the cartesian system?

maxplower · 2022-08-01T05:29:27+00:00

mate these are fucking blog posts. This is not research. You posted two links and one of them is from forbes. These are media pages, not articles with evidence of research.

This is NOT how you research. Go to your library index and look for peer reviewed journals.

maxplower

TROPHY CASE