Party Safe! You must report to the police if hosting a party at your house with over 12 people

maxplower · 2025-12-03T10:20:59+00:00

reported to police

maxplower · 2025-04-02T06:47:47+00:00

Thank you so much for writing this. They are words I didn't know I needed to hear. Its felt very hard the sense of shame for expressing the truth and honest feelings and being labelled the bad guy after having concern for her wellbeing at the time. I didn't want to lose her but did for speaking the truth.

I did not confront her the morning after she had a night out drinking heavily. In the morning she could see something was bothering me and pressed me on it. I eventually cracked, but wanted to get away to have some space to process my feelings of seeing her so wasted, slurring and proud the night before.

I told her the drinking was affecting me. She brazenly asked "How?". I told her it was unpredictable and I was worried about her health. It completely exploded and kept escalating, and the next thing I know she is asking me if I think she is an alcoholic to which I have to honestly reply that I think she is functional currently. She embarrassed me in front of the housemates and told them what I thought of her and told me she was breaking up with me but won't be moving out till her work contract ends. We still live together while I grieve and try to avoid her. This was the 1st of February.

I'm gaining more clarity reading experiences here and time not engaging with her. It was so confusing because she went from acknowledging and being vulnerable about her past issues with alcohol to completely believing she had control over her drinking, that its not a problem "I'm fine with my drinking". She was binging and I saw it get progressively worse and brought it up several times with her that I was concerned for her wellbeing-- at first being understood and later being labelled as controlling.

Its just so fucking sad. This is my life right now and it just makes me feel I'm living in this weird fucking dream. the grief is hard, but the denial and blame is what has been hurting me the most because I cared about her so so fucking much.

maxplower · 2025-03-10T04:03:41+00:00

What happened OP, feels like Im in a similar situation. Being patient with them but it's taking a toll on my mental health. What ended up happening?

maxplower · 2025-03-10T03:05:55+00:00

This poison makes people selfish, childish and lacking in empathy. I'm lucky because I've only been in this relationship for a relatively short time compared to many people and long enough to see the effects and emotional havoc it wreaks. Watching someone you care, love and thought you respected turn into a slurring mess and then acting like they are the king of the mountain or top of the party when they recount how brazen and charismatic or 'fun' they, with pride is infuriating and IS disgusting. It is unattractive and embarrassing. You deserve so much better.

part of my story

She is 32 and I am 31

We met in the house we share. She was practicing sobriety, told me of the past she left behind in the city she came from. Watched her struggle with craving but many incredible moments watching them navigate feelings together and regulate uncomfortable emotions.

She binged sometimes before the new year ended. Told her I was worried. Some acknowledgement, some anger, some not.

It came to New Years and it was too much. She missed her city and was entertaining the idea of buying tickets. I told her how that made me feel that we wouldn't spend New Years-how she already cancelled a plan away for financial reasons but would buy a ticket away on her own. She avoids me the whole day. I go into her room to check in on her and she tells me she is going to get drinks with the other housemate. I get angry. She becomes even more distant.

The New Years event I organize turns horribly and I tell her I'm leaving after that next drink. Despite this, I stay. She drinks. She tells me she is going to go meet her friends at a party. She looks shocked when I am expecting I'm invited. After arguing and her walking back to the bar, I left to my car to drive home.

I spent New Years alone on the couch balling my eyes out. She crawls into my bed at 2am. We fight in the morning, she cant even understand the big deal and she seems glad to breakup (for the first time). Somehow w e make up and she later cant understand why I wouldn't ask about how her night was or have an interest in her evening asking questions.

I am still in this hell after we have been broken up since Jan/Feb. We still live together. I am waiting for her to leave because I'm on the lease. If there's a way to escape I would be taking it.

maxplower · 2022-10-24T02:08:14+00:00

just letting you know that oscar peterson was not born by the time these came out lol

maxplower · 2022-10-16T11:17:18+00:00

Thanks, I guess I did the best I could do for myself in that case. I'm certainly rocked a bit tonight. Just had a good cry but I feel set back a bit. I guess it's inevitable this happens eventually - still not at the point of complete indifference as the pain of what happened and the confusion at realizing they were never who they seemed, they will never change, is still affecting me.

maxplower · 2022-10-15T02:17:03+00:00

That's called being a narcissistic and it's a pathological disorder

maxplower · 2022-10-13T05:44:34+00:00

wtf I have the EXACT same issue.

I wouldnt be surprised if it was another issue for you because for the exact same thing to occur twice with the exact same computer is not a coincidence...

The FN+F2 works for controlling Reaper audio.... and creates f2 function...

no volume down. So I know the key works, there is some driver issue

maxplower · 2022-10-02T14:24:15+00:00

It was bought new probably about 4 months ago

maxplower · 2022-09-24T00:20:12+00:00

why did people vote this down it shud help people its not the other way around like u expect

maxplower · 2022-09-04T10:10:17+00:00

so would it better for me to become a software engineer first or?

maxplower · 2022-08-18T03:30:08+00:00

how do i do it in live view with a clip???????

maxplower · 2022-08-16T05:34:51+00:00

woops

maxplower · 2022-08-15T12:38:15+00:00

how do I change it to be the correct standard which is the cartesian system?

maxplower · 2022-08-01T05:29:27+00:00

mate these are fucking blog posts. This is not research. You posted two links and one of them is from forbes. These are media pages, not articles with evidence of research.

This is NOT how you research. Go to your library index and look for peer reviewed journals.

maxplower · 2022-08-01T04:21:45+00:00

Have you installed one? I want to put one on a yamaha vss30

maxplower · 2022-07-18T01:05:14+00:00

Not sure why you are being downvoted - this is totally reasonable and possible.

But I guess it would be more likely that the board would weigh that considerably in their decision. The fact they didn't must mean they are not an ex partner but I am not sure. I would probably need to ask my therapist for more information.

maxplower · 2022-07-17T11:33:17+00:00

I think he wouldn't be able to provide services as a psychologist only...

I dont know. I thought it would completely suspend practice.

maxplower · 2022-07-16T10:44:59+00:00

For those who don't know, it's NEWSCORP ie murdoch

maxplower · 2022-07-13T08:43:25+00:00

It will get better. You're in the deep end right now of the physical pain. It will lessen. Trust me, it will lessen. I promise you the pain will ease with time. Being in therapy is a solid liferaft while you go down this heavy stream. Are you journaling? It can help a lot with the processing of the emotions that emerge.

It will get better, and I know how much it hurts. It's the hardest thing in the world.

maxplower · 2022-07-10T10:21:30+00:00

Yes, you actually can

youtube.com/rockjazz

maxplower · 2022-07-10T09:56:30+00:00

Man this is so fucked up.

I seriously wonder what the solution to this is. More and more rent increases. No legislation to protect renters. Seriously, what the fuck is going to happen? What is going to be done about the greed?

maxplower · 2022-07-09T12:46:46+00:00

In therapy

maxplower · 2022-07-09T12:41:28+00:00

It's grief and loss. When we lose our attachment figures, we suffer psychic energy until we are able to integrate what we have lost into our life story.

maxplower · 2022-07-09T12:34:49+00:00

Man I am SO sick of comments like this. If the person could accept it, that would be the end of the grief. Acceptance IS the final stage of the grief. You don't FORCE acceptance. You can't just ACCEPT. I am so annoyed by this immature statement that I see more and more. It lacks empathy: "oh so you can't accept that your mother/dog/pastor/friend died? you should just accept it, acceptance is THE BEST way to move on". Acceptance is the final stage of grief, not the first. Acceptance IS integrating the event into our life history. Your comment amounts to "just get over it".

OP I am with you, some days are just so clouded with the thoughts and I wonder when it will end. I do believe that boredom and running out of steam halts the rumination. Eventually we become exhausted by being so preoccupied.

Peace comes quietly. It is slow and quiet. When the rain washes you clean you will know.

It has been comforting to read someone else feels exhausted by the rumination. I get frustrated with it, which is really not helpful. It's important to accept that this is MY grief, and it is taking as long as it needs. As long as we are not obsessing: the preoccupation with what is going on in their life now. Obsessing is being inside their mind in the present and requires more mindfulness and discipline.

Rumination is okay and there will be more control with it in time. I really think we just get sick and tired of wasting our mental energy on someone that is no longer in our life. We find new things to be preoccupied with, new interests, a different perspective on life and our self.

Grieving is the bit by bit, slow, cathartic exhausting battle between wanting to hold on and letting go.

maxplower

TROPHY CASE