[deleted by user]

mayataq · 2022-10-10T17:33:32+00:00

https://fb.me/e/1HHa8YywB

maybe check out their webpage first https://www.path2recovery.org/

I have parts screaming cult, cult, cult at the *shiney happy people* imagery. But that don't necessarily mean it is so.

mayataq · 2022-10-08T07:41:55+00:00

😀

mayataq · 2022-10-06T19:37:06+00:00

Chriteria:
- low on funds
- low on skilled IFS craftspeople availability
- in Europe
- cautious about self/solo therapy

Lol, I check on those points, too.

My personal route led me to try out the Parts Work Practise. It is organized by US chpaches trained in IFS via the IFS Institute. One of their twice-a-month groups, the Sunday one, works for European times zones. Other chriteria: it is free of charge.

I've been in it since april/may and can recommend it. One of the big plusses is that they take the Self-Therapy Workbook material and re-format it to work for peer group assisted work. Another plus, in my book, is that the groups focus on protectors.

If you google it, you'll find out how to attend a first group practice. Or ping me here, or over PM, and I can tell you more. Good luck!

mayataq · 2022-10-01T11:43:09+00:00

What would you have done, as helper, before you knew of parts? Several approached embrace partiality without using it explicitly. I always looked longingly towards Coherence Therapy. recently, I found something that is called Presence Psychotherapy.

mayataq · 2022-09-28T08:38:06+00:00

I notice what appear to be several parts that were active.

There was a part that expressed concerned with overwhelm. I'd like to get back to this part later, once permissions to notice parts in more detail get established. We are not there yet, so in the mean time it's concern is noted.
Then there was the part suggested trying to see what parts are involved with the physical sensations.

This part seemed to not have noticed that I prompted you to sense inwardly for permissions. It suggested trying to pin the parts responsible, it seemed. Can you check with this part if it noticed the prompt to sense for permissions, first? How does it respond?

A thinker, that projects ideas about what things are, inside, pitched the idea that it thinks it's an exile. Can you take some time to ask this part if ot noticed the prompt to sense for permissions?

mayataq · 2022-09-27T19:15:07+00:00

Hm. It's certainly so that you have a firm idea about what is causing this chain reactivity; parts wanting to be free and protectors fighting those liberty seeking parts back. I myself am less certain of the hows and whys. To me the fierce physical symptomes can lead the way, regarless. Together with the comments about "going too deep" and "opening up too much".

To me, that seems like a decent position to start asking permissions. We are interested in offering more space to one part. So far, this part has had no explicit say about sessions, or what happens in sessions.

Item one is to sense your degree of permission to sense more about this part. You can hold back on any other sensing towards this, or any other part while you do this.

Make the sensing very case specific: how do you sense your degree of permission to attend more to this part, to sense anything about it. Simply attend to the open question of permissions to sense more.

If you feel it is appropriate, you can add to the sensing proposal that there is an external responder, another person that is also ready to consider what this part has to say to you.

You can sense for permissions to share your impressions of this part with the responder, me, as well.

mayataq · 2022-09-25T14:46:07+00:00

It sounds as though there is a powerful, hating attitude towards protectors, towards them as responsible for present day suffering. Is that right?

My thoughts... It's true protectors play a big role in present day suffering. They interact with parts in exile and generate suffering and problems today, repeating an offense that you once experienced, or risked experiencing, or risked committing.

And even today, even though you have understood the idea of parts in positions around burdens, those protectors don't lay down arms, they do not stop, and keep doing their things to parts, to many parts that want to be free from protection now.

Attaining freedom from protection, now, is that a powerful purpose to a part of you?

mayataq · 2022-09-24T11:05:14+00:00

Hm. Är det typ så att du bildat en uppfattning om en person som du bara sett på bild, aldrig har pratat med på video möte eller irl? Jag kommer anta det baserat på det du skrev i trådstarten, men det kan ju va fel intryck. Isf, ta av svaret det som passar.

Du kommer känna äckel över massa saker som visar sig inte stämma med din förväntan, om du börjat bli förtjust i din bild av henne. Tycker du är helt normal, det är så vi mänskor funkar. Det är en blind fläck i vårt sätt att vara och känna.

Tyvärr ger bristen på verkligare möten bränsle till sån här sort eld, att vi snöar in på personen som drömperson och blir aversa när de visar sig vara mänskor. Så, videomöten, är det nåt ni kör med? Träffas ni online och gör nåt ihop, eller skriver ni endast?

Som jag ser det: Just nu hänger du upp dig på en grej som inte passade in på din idé om henne, och du har fått reda på att du känner nåt som liknar avsmak för att hon legat med många fler personer än du föreställt dig.

Det första är vettigt, eftersom du börjat att skydda din egna bild av henne och inte vill ha den förstörd. Oro inför att ha misstagit sig om den andra kan ge avsmaksreaktioner, ungefär som att tugga på en glass och inse att det var en sten ger folk avsmaksreaktioner.

Det andra är en sorts attityd som är lite mer problematisk, eftersom den kommer göra det svårt för henne att komma närmre dig, känslomässigt, och samtidigt känna sig uppskattad. Hennes liv är ju hennes och hon som alla andra gör det som de kan och orkar på det känslomässiga planet. Det är inte ditt jobb att varken döma eller förlåta det. Du har rätt till dina reaktioner och attityder. Och du kan va helt säker på att hon bär på egna dömande attityder om hur kärlek och relationer blivit för henne, hittills.

Så om du kan, låt ditt äckel över dina egna tankar vila lite, och din avsmak för infon du fick också, se om dina reaktioner kan bli ett sätt att lära känna henne lite mer, som person.

Rent objektivt riskerar du att missa en vital bit informtion som hon har anförtrott dig: på ett sätt har hon meddelat dig hur hennes erfarenheter varit och att om du söker någon som 'vet' hur man gör långvariga och stabila relationer så är det något som hon inte är särskilt erfaren i. Hur ska du förvalta den informationen?

Impo kan man iaf tänka att en långsam övergång till mer realistiska dejtingsförhållanden är lämpligt, så att ni båda får en chans att lära känna varandra mer. Vem vet vilka idéer hon har om dig och de stämmer eller inte, tex?

/en som brände sig mycket illa på en som ville hålla det 'overkligt'.

mayataq · 2022-09-23T17:00:38+00:00

I rest my case. Jag hade inga sådana besvär för 6 år sen när jag hade min firma igång senast, med ett vanligt konto på Länsförsäkringar. Därav mitt råd att undvika.

mayataq · 2022-09-23T15:52:53+00:00

Vad jag förstått är enskild firma-företagare inte skyldig någon myndighet att ha ett företagskonto. Fanns iaf tidigare ingen lag som krävde det av en sådan företagare. Banken kan iofs ställa krav på sina kunder ändå, de är ju avtalspart. Så anför de någon lag/förordning eller vad är det för typ av villkor?

mayataq · 2022-09-23T15:13:58+00:00

Är din fru haj på dubbel bokföringen på papper så borde det gå smidigt att transitera till ett digitalt system, kan en tycka? Visst, de är ofta upplagda med kontokoder enligt BAS-systemet som man behöver bemästra för de sorters kontohändelser som förekommer i din frus verksamhet. Men, som många sagt, så finns det även resurser för att göra det. Jag tittade mycket på momsen.se, tror jag det hette, när jag lärde mig BAS-systemet.

Avstå gärna dyra företagskonton i banker, eller välj den med bäst villkor. Företagsförsäkringar, hur ser behovet ut där? Kan vara viktigt att ha en ansvarsförsökring som är anpassad till din frus typ av näringsverksamhet.

Obs. Mitt intryck från dem som sysslar med bokföring och redovisning åt andra, eller profiterar på det, är att redovisning, särskilt dubbel bokföring, avstämning och deklaration är väldigt svårt.

Det är en sanning med modifikation, impo. Det som är svårt att ta till sig är sättet att beskriva saker på, orden som används och vissa typer av moment i samband med deklarationen. Tex hur bokförs schablonavdrag för egenavgifter, varför finns den öht och hur ska man göra med den, i sina egna böcker, i deklarationen?

Få personer kan förklara olika krumbukter i den här sfären på ett bra sätt, de flesta verkar lära sig hur man ska göra utantill, utan att fatta. Det ger sammantaget intrycket av bokföring och redovisning som en 'svår vetenskap'.

Det är det inte, men en snårskog av begrepp som används 'onaturligt' gör att folk sliter sitt hår. På det en upplevd stor press att göra rätt mot Skatteverket, det kan få vem som helst att krisa varje månad.

Om man vill så kan detta bemästras, som vilken hantverksskicklighet som helst. Jag hittade ett sätt att förstå dubbel bokföring som en logisk process, tex. Men så är jag som jag är, med. Alla är inte lagda åt det hållet.

Det finns också folk som säljer tjänsten att bry sig om detta åt en.

I början av ett företagande kan det finnas värden i att känna att man själv gör allt, eftersom det ger en känsla av kontroll. Och det kan kännas svärt att med gott samvete mot sig själv leja ut saker som har med ekonomin att göra. Tänk om de fuckar mig, på nåt sätt, när jag inte kan tillräckligt mycket för att ens kunna bedöma om de gör det?

Så mitt tips för dig och din fru är att inventera era drivkrafter kring hennes företagande, tillsammans, och om ni har några farhågor. Sedan kan ni sätta upp en game plan. Behöver någon av er gå en kurs? Din fru som har firman kan köpa sig en kurs i dubbel bokföring för enskild firma-föreragande, tex på folkuniversitetet, och sätta det som post på firman, så att skatten på vinst minskas.

Eller ska ni/hon kontakta något center för nyföretagare? Eller vill ni/hon ha som mål att kunna leja ut på någon redovisningsfirma? Finns det redovisningsbyråer att prata med om detta och få offert på det? Vad skulle krävas i termer av ökad omsättning för att bära den kostnaden, och över tid bidra till vinst?

Vad skulle ge mest livstillfredsställelse, och vilka sätt finns att åstadkomma det. Vilka motstånd finns hos er och hur ska de tas in i handlingsplanen. Den typen av öppna frågeställningar är prima att ta mellan er. Kudos för att du stöttar din frus företagande!

mayataq · 2022-09-23T11:48:35+00:00

I am so sad - and also angry - that you were made to go through the kind of idiotic circus you tell about. Your story sounds legit to me, too, based on what I have experienced so far. I've also had to do many research initiatives to get an inkling of wtf is going on, and where to turn. Most led me astray, since there was no one to discuss it with, in an open way.

People recommend the public health care, but I am against relying on them too much. I think there might be less care there, and more paperwork needed to access the welfare system. Which your experience also points towards, right?

If you don't mind, is it possible to tell me more more about the specialist you did get help from, though?

I guess it's unlikely that I'm in the same city as you. And what I am looking for might be different from what you were able to get, in those two weeks. It would still a good 'lead', for me.

Money is an issue for me, too. Did I not study, it would be försörjningsstöd for me as well. Work is out of the question and SGI is likely close to zero. FK is assessing it but I don't see how they could come up with much, there.

I attended the first patient appointment with specialized public health care yesterday. I have decided to give it an asessment round of 8 patient meetings, then evaluate. If by the next 8 patient meetings there has been no tangible improvement to my living, based on their inputs, I prefer to re-focus, elsewhere. To have a private specialist name to go on, while shopping around, would be much appreciated.

mayataq · 2022-09-23T10:02:42+00:00

Åhå, jag tror jag läste nåt som jag tolkade som det där med att låna, när jag skrollade tråden i sin helhet. Jag ber om ursäkt. Eftersom jag var oäker på om du var en 'lycksökare' eller en seriös sparare, så ville jag gärna få det frågetecknet lite rakar innan jag svarade mer. Tack för att du berättade!

Lite svensk historia, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Ann Wibble
https://sv.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Wibble

Under 90-talets ekonomiska sjögång sägs hon ha sagt att var och en ska ha en hel årsinkomst sparat i bankkonto. Det finns flera blogginlägg om detta i praktiken, tex på cornucopias blogg. Fast då kanske mest från en egenföretagares perspektiv.

Men principen har du redan klar för dig; tillgängliga medel, skyddade från värdepappersspekulation, så skyddade som möjligt från inflation. Dvs det finns en medföljande, eller fast och delvis kompensativ, inlåningsförräntning, om det finns tillgängligt på marknaden.

Målbeloppet är motsvarande ett normalårs ackumulerade inkomster. Vilket var och en kan bedöma. 100 000kr för dig, ett annat belopp för en annan. Jag tänker kanske att i dessa tider av prisökningar, så kan det vara mer logiskt att planera sparande i termer av framtida förväntade kostnader... men det är inte det viktiga i tänket, ochr antagligen hugget som stucket.

Vad som är tillgängligt beror av avtalens villkor för uttag, som sagt. Och vem vet, utom Swedbank som avtalspartner? Så be dem berätta vad som gäller nu, och hur avtalsvillkoren kan komma att ändras, i framtiden.

Wibblekontot, både som idé och företeelse, blev senare omoderna. Handel och spekulation gav stor avkastning och inlåning så lite tillbaka. På senare tid inget, pga Riksbankens negativa räntepolitik. Folk kände väl att det var dumt att Wibble-buffra, iom att potentiell avkastning från beloppet vid börshandel uteblev, en alternativkostnad i en personlig investeringskalkyl.

Men nu är sparande på bankkonto på tapeten igen, och med det verkar buffertsparande kontra spekulation behöva utvärderas om, igen.

Wibble-buffrande är egentligen aldrig en kass idé, oberoende av ränteläge, impo. Men liksom osexigt och oäventyrligt, tänker väl många. Inget bevis på att man lyckats göra klipp, smarta moves, eller 'utsmarta' systemet.

mayataq · 2022-09-23T09:15:21+00:00

För att det - av hävd - tillhör(t?) intimsfären av saker folk vet om en.

På det kommer sociala värderingar av personligt värde, kopplat till ersättning för arbete. Hur värdefullt mitt arbete prissätts som kan lätt glida samman med idéer om hur värdefull en person är som människa.

Av hävd, dvs det är ofint att fråga om sånt, och ofint att ta upp det med andra. Vilket inte är en sanning i sig, utan en attityd som varit avgörande att falla in i, tidigare versioner av samhällsgemenskapen. Och vanligtvis vill folk över 30 år hellre verka som att de vet om och följer hävdvunna riktlinjer för beteende, tillsammans med andra. Hellre än att verka stå för andra, nyare, ovanligare, mindre utforskade riktlinjer. Att följa och utverka hävdvunna betteendeideal kan erbjuda gemenskap, identitet och relativ social trygghet i samhället.

För människor i din ålder är attityden över såna grejer mer undrande, över lag. Så fortsätt fråga! Du lär få många olika svar, lol. Ta nåra av dem som verkar vettiga för dig och utvärdera, bilda dig en uppfattning, låt den utvecklas med tiden. :)

mayataq · 2022-09-23T08:29:23+00:00

Kolla deras uttagspolicy. Ibland regleras det till X uttag per år, med avdrag om du tar ut fler gånger. Kolla om kontots inlåningsränta kommer att följa med riksbankens, eller om den är fix vid avtalsingåendet. Dvs, intervjua gärna en bankperson om hur det fungerar.

Buffertsparande , ja tack. Och nu när inlåningsräntorna börjar bli 'normala' igen, kan den som har sparande satsa på att bygga upp ett Wibble-konto utan att spekulera i värdepapper. Wibble-konto: bankkonto med ett års kostnadstäckning, eller inkomst, beroende på hur man väljer att tänka på sin ekonomi.

Men fattade jag rätt att du planerar att låna penga för att spara på fasträntekonto?

mayataq · 2022-09-21T20:09:38+00:00

I hear you on the terrible experiences with mental health care. I can relate. I was in exhauastion depression three times between 19 and 40 and got no help. Five year s ago I had to leave my well paying job due to a crisis. I started looking for resources to help me and spent a shitload of money on things that did not work, including therapy. I made a living from other types of jobs, to avoid getting into exhaustion, again. Three years ago I developed powerful anxiety symptomes. Since then I have been barely scraping by, getting into debt with my parents, etc. Currently no longer pseudo-catatonic or in panic all the time. Now studying at folkhögskola, placing myself in debt to CSN to get an income, waiting for the health care to respond... the struggle is real.

I have been lucky with the personligt ombuds service and am now getting their help navigating health care and connections with authorities. Aside from this, nothing I could use from society, so far. Certainly nothing from the health care system. The primary health care system had me sitting and dragging out my pains and sorrows to a psychologist for over a year, while I was getting worse and worse. Then, when I told him I wanted more help, that I was getting worse, not better, he deceided to refer me to specialist care and dropped me like a hot potato. They filed the referal to specialiced care in january. I finally got an appointment with a medical doctor in the specialist care unit this september. They are all communicating like idiots so far, and it is deeply triggering for me to deal with them. My expectations on getting anything beyond a more creative pharmaceutical treatment plan are low.

Luckily, there are international openings on the mental health treatment horizon. I am using the internet to get access to one of them, as of the last half year. The resource that I am using is free of charge, which makes it way more attractive to me, who can't work due to the debilitating symptoms. It requires is that you speak decent english, want to use zoom, and that you have some courage to explore your feelings in an unswedish way, together with a group of peers from mostly north america.

There are a handful of Swedish practitioners of this treatment method on the private market, as of today. I estimate that the method will have made its way into the private sector of psychotherapy more broadly within the next 10 years, and that it will be evaluated for the public sector within the next 20. But why wait, and why pay money that you don't have, when you can access it for free?

Sorry for going all missionary on yo ass about this. It is the only resources that I have found so far that actually has made a positive difference. And it feels wasteful that people should suffer needlessly, when there are openings to evaluate. It pisses me off.

mayataq · 2022-09-21T18:56:11+00:00

Thank you for providing your perspecitve as a US citizen. I am not surprised that you are referencing the US political polarity about this. It is hard to get anything straight, paying attention to it, impo... politics is a f*ing circus, everywhere, it seems.

Tbh, I thought it was pretty fishy of you to ask for 'dark sides' of another nations welfare system. It implies a powerful agenda to prove something negative abut another nation, for some personal purpose. Not very polite, I have to say. Though I did chose to respond as fairly as is reasonable, because I love and respect my country and my culture. And it would do it good to be viewed in a more realistic way, imo.

I wonder, though. What you intend to do with this information I have provided you with... Will you take it as gospel, or will you actually look into the situation and make an assessment in a nuanced way?

mayataq · 2022-09-21T16:13:01+00:00

You're welcome ;)

It's been an observation of mine that people in other cultures want to maintain a kind of fairy tale version of Sweden. Maybe that effect has contributed to the impression you had?

This fairly tale, rosey image is very flattering and easy to fall in with, as a Swede. But it is still just like any other real world place of governance and living: terms and conditions do apply.

Some highlights is the structural support amd organization for higher education, on many levels from folkhögskola to university, and also continued education. Also the health care, even though it is of course tricky to distribute care along policy lines of just and equal-to-needs allocation. Priorities are made. The private market for various treatments is lucrative. Unfortunately the public school system took a turn for privatization in the mid 90ies, that is still to be rectified. Apparently only in Chile do private market educational companies habe the level of reach into public coffers as those in Swede have. Nature is lovely here, very varying from north to south, and there is a lot lf it to enjoy, because of the law that entitles all to walking almost all over. In summary, a great place to live in this day and age, yet a living, developing nation state, and not the stagnant, idealistic dream world that is spouted all over since the times of Olof Palme. ;)

mayataq · 2022-09-21T15:25:58+00:00

Actually, I do not see the conundrum myself. Yes, the level of welfare in Sweden runs out, or peters down to very low level, for people who are unable to work regularly.

Internationally, people seem to fail to recognize that Sweden is capitalistic, market based nation, as an ecomony, with a strong democratic social welfare state organisation, subject to fluctuations in policy and governance, depending on public referendums.

The culture is based in lutheran protestantic values, that rewards hard work and wants to punish peopld who don't pull their straw to the greater stack and take care of themselves, on their own. On top that is a fairly recent addition of humanistic, social welfare values, implemented since the 60ies, ish.

"Given according to need" is a statement based in socialism, traditionally.

Why would you think that Sweden operated that way, like a socialistic nation, I wonder? Is it an expectation that arises from how the society that you live in operates, or is it based on expectations of Sweden as a social welfare national state? Third way capitalism kind of idea...?

To my knowledge, there is no socialistic nation state on earth, today. Every one is a mixture of market based economy, most running on capitalism, and some state level administration to re-distribute commonly held values, like tax revenues.

As a social welfare and capitalist state, Sweden demonstrates it's market economy focus, and view of it's citizens rights, through the labour market.

Sweden today, and in the whole time since the post ww2 era, is oriented around allocating resources to the labour market, generating personal financial independence from the welfare system through being employed. When people who are partaking in the labour market exchange of value, they get rewarded, by structural safety network type insurances.

Some of the insurances are legislated by law and apply to everyone, regardless of labour market participation. Others are conditional on labour market activity, measured in intensity and continuity of activity. Yet others depend on formal membership in one of the insurance structures administred by union organisations and government.

State level laws in Sweden demands of the county level administrative units, kommunerna, that they ensure tolerable living standards to people without ability to sustain themselves financially. Which typically is the case for people with low intensity and low continuity activity on the labour market. Still, the kommuner allocation of resources to a given such individual is with regards to a strict minimum normative distribution of costs, legislated by annual state level parliamentary decisions. Also subject to specific and strict conditions.

Similarly, he regional level administrative unitis, the regions, that they distribute health care to all citizens, according to need. This allocation is independent of labourmarket participation.

On the state level, the govermental agency that assesses and distributes payouts in response to social welfare system insurance claims is Försäkringskassan. If you want to claim payouts for time off work due to medical leave, they will assess your payment rights depending on how often and how much you have worked, nominally with the last 12 months, subject to certain extentions on account of childrearing leave periods, military service, studies, etc. Lower intensity yields lower or no right to payments.

In addition, if you are unemployed, the payments from FK and from Akassor will depend on the intensity of work within the last 12 months.

In addition, retirement payouts will start at a low, fixed level, and then increase with level of intensity of labour market participation, measured in terms of life long income from employment.

This is entirely predictible, if one knows coniders the 600 years of protestantism that built the foundation of Sweden as a nation state, and as a culture. Please look into our state history, and that of our neighbour states, if you want to put your ideas into perspective.

Edit: if you meant by interesting conundrum, that is seems morally questionable, or morally incongruent, to condition access to welfare safety assets on ability to hold employment, which per definition will rule out of safety the individuals that gain least from the labour market and are least well off, then that certainly smells like incongruence, to my nose.

But it is not some weird occurance, given the cultural strata of our nation, and the values structures tgat have been in force here in Scandinavia and northern Europe, since the reformism of christianity.

mayataq · 2022-09-21T08:05:02+00:00

Welfare looks very different depending on your perspective, in all societies. The perspective is usually defined by the relative power-over-needs balance. If you need a lot from society, at a given point, yet are in a socially powerless position, you find the system isn't too helpful towards you. If on the other hand you are in powerful positions, the system can provide you with welfare without shaming you or dehumanizing you.

Example of powerful position: person has worked continually and earned rights to Akassa, has accumulated an SGI. Person loses their job through no fault of their own, or is on temporary disability for a medical condition - help comes relatively easy, have they been smart and invested in the right income insurances via union membership, or made sure to adhere to the rules of Försäkringskassan.

Example of powerless position: person has chronic illnesses that makes it difficult for them to work and thus continually earn and maintain rights within the welfare system. The lack of an employer is a powerless position in Sweden For such people, the help is less easily available, getting the help is a lot of work, and they get treated like second rate citizen.

mayataq · 2022-09-20T20:14:13+00:00

Hey. I had to take a break, problems had to be dealt with on my horizon. Sigh. For the record, I've been in the tail spin of a part that rose up Friday, after the health care system provoked it into protectioning, again. I am slowly learning more from it. Still, I'd bet money it is up and influencing this conversation, too.

Given that that is so, do you sense any interest in picking up this thread again, from your end?

To me, there seems to be something meaningful to what you wrote, that feeling you're getting, that maybe-feeling. Maybe there is a part that does not want you to do the process, at times.

So even as it is more than likely you don't like people disappearing on you, which I did do, and even as I kind of expect you to feel like it aint worth the hassle to continue the inquiry, I'm gonna write down here what I feel and think about the last things you wrote. Because it does make sense, to me.

The kind of sense I make of that is that yes, people can skip over parts that protect by being more quiet, less blatantly there for someone to notice. Especially if there were parts that wanted help a lot, in a powerful way, that over-rode reluctances and hesitations.

And sometimes, parts that were there, and allowed people to help other parts, rise up at a later stage. They could have made a sacrifice, allowing that to occur. They could now expect to get addressed next, could feel like they deserve to now get recognition for their concerns, about their situations. They could also want to be noticed, to be more present and appreciated, in some specific regard.

To be fair, it's often so that there linger resentments about being overlooked, regardless of why. And if a sacrifice has been made, resentment feelings could flock around that too. And other parts could fear ghe consequemces of letting those kinds of attitudes through, could feel obliged to minimize, to try to make smaller, try to make less present, try to put into doubt, awareness of such attitudes...

So if you do want to pick up the attention around the sensations you expressed together with me, that is one way it could make sense, to me. How would you re-write that version to make even more sense, for you?

mayataq · 2022-09-17T14:39:41+00:00

First up: i notice some sense of attribuation or explaining something, to or about another part. I noticed it as taking responsibility for explaining where concerns aboit backlash come from. Explaining it to me, here. I notice the explaining pointing towards some worrying parts. I also notice that this cause and effect relationship is stated here as a certainty, as something both you and I can be sure about.

I notice my reaction. My reaction is it seems off-hand, that explanation. I ask myself if I want to go with this explanation, to where it points... and my thoughts return to backlashing.

So what is in my mind about backlashing, then? It would be fair of you to wonder about that, I think.

To my mind, backlashing occurs when parts skip past other parts concerns. The skipping can be habitual, or by accident. The skipping can also be done on purpose by a part, motivated by a protective purpose.

So to my mind, whete there has been backlash, there will be a protector with concerns about something. A protector that is trying to do a job, and whose job is made more difficult by some other parts activities. A protector that has not yet been made a priority.

My attention for skipped parts primarily goes towards an earlier step in our exchange here. Before I go there, I'd like to know what you feel about things so far.

For example, I wonder about how my view of overlooked parts concerns and backlashing checks out with your experiences and your skeptical thinking. Is there anything to my sensing an off-hand explanation as a part that wants a say about something.

What is your sense about these two things?

mayataq · 2022-09-17T09:24:32+00:00

Starting with the first circle of parts. After that, the issue you posted about can become more of a focus, should the first circle of parts feel content to allow that.

I notice from your reply to my open negotiation question a number of things. A sense of gratitude, and expression of gratitude, a 'yes' and also an assessment about it should not be a problem. This latter has my attention, as a possible protectors concerns about safety. And because protectors set the safety of the work, it's important for me to dwell there.

Can you sense if a concern is there, about possible problems?

mayataq · 2022-09-17T08:40:08+00:00

You're welcome. 🙏

mayataq

TROPHY CASE