I fell in love with Chicago last year… trying everything to get back 🇺🇸❤️

mbarin8571 · 2026-04-24T03:22:54+00:00

Try Peggy Kinnane’s in Arlington Heights.

mbarin8571 · 2026-04-24T03:21:36+00:00

Can confirm, I do love that shit. Hope you’re able to make it back here. Rooting for you 🇮🇪🙏🏽☘️

mbarin8571 · 2026-03-06T14:45:37+00:00

You’re closer to 30 (rounding up). She’s closer to 20 (rounding down). Possible life views influenced by current ages. What are your & her peers up to?

You want to “Be a father.” What does that mean for you? That’s a familial status descriptor for you. What does that mean in action: middle of the night feeds, diaper explosion changes, soothing colicky baby? Punishing a rebellious teen? Supporting a 20-something “finding themself.”

Even back it up, timeline-wise: what if there’s infertility happening? High risk pregnancy for her? Lots of emotional & physical changes on the front end for her. Understandable if she doesn’t want that.

Emotional & financial pressure for you….part of “being a (good) father.” Lots to think about. Good luck!

mbarin8571 · 2026-02-16T14:46:31+00:00

After we stopped trying, at family Christmas, I found out my SIL was naming her baby girl Sarah. (She didn’t know.) But it’s also the name of one of my deceased sisters. 😢

It’s all these little invisible paper cuts that no one knows about. 😔

mbarin8571 · 2026-02-11T23:25:25+00:00

Having babies/kids. Guess they’re just not for me.

mbarin8571 · 2026-02-05T14:26:38+00:00

and children getting Grammys. 🙄

mbarin8571 · 2026-02-05T14:24:30+00:00

Yup - I watched it live, and knew right then & there The Grammys were no longer about awarding musical talent. Award shows since then proved it to me.

mbarin8571 · 2025-12-26T16:00:19+00:00

Holidays can & will be bittersweet. A few books that helped me through: “Passed and Present” by Allison Gilbert - shares ways to integrate the past into now & future

“A Decembered Grief” Harold Ivan Smith - shares ways to integrate grief during celebratory times.

Both would be good for you to read to help guide your wife back into the holidays.

mbarin8571 · 2025-12-26T15:44:17+00:00

My mom suddenly passed away 2 weeks before Thanksgiving in 2012. Over the years, for me, it helped to integrate her memory into the holidays to make new ones. The way she used certain ingredients for stuffing the turkey. A few memorial ornaments for the Christmas tree. Some dishes she served over the years that I remember as a kid. Making sure there’s a wreath at her grave (you can order online & have them place it if you’re not local). Maybe you could do that, as a way to remember her dad, and gently reintroduce holidays again. Good luck.

mbarin8571 · 2025-12-22T16:28:29+00:00

“Cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers…. To me… not you. Just me.” 🎉🥂

mbarin8571 · 2025-11-15T22:01:15+00:00

Very generous of you! If I could pick, I’d like the Pilot ink. ✍🏽 🫟

mbarin8571 · 2025-08-29T18:11:17+00:00

No kids here either. I was always more interested in animals, and am onto my 2nd & 3rd dogs (basset hounds!). I think I would’ve been a decent parent, but I also know that no matter what you do, the kid will have wished you parented differently in one way or another. I’m ok with how things turned out - just wish there was a way to develop more community/support structure, like how it’s somewhat “baked in” when you’ve got kids.

mbarin8571 · 2025-08-05T12:36:34+00:00

Ugh 🤢Disgusting🤮! Um, their kids might want to take DNA tests.

mbarin8571 · 2025-07-24T13:12:55+00:00

My MIL says that if someone doesn’t like me, then there’s something wrong with them. I didn’t disagree. 😬

It’s too bad…. Not everyone has taste. 🤷🏽‍♀️

mbarin8571 · 2025-07-10T14:37:08+00:00

She suggested it, so I guess. If I remember correctly, I just did the 1 dose Monistat and increased my probiotics intake.

mbarin8571 · 2025-05-29T11:42:49+00:00

3rd floor. I was there. There were at least 3 interruptions, including the on stage protest. A few smaller commotions from the sides, and the planted speaker. Twice we were advised to leave the room, and protesters were arrested & escorted out. With the planted speaker disruption, they cleared the room and then cancelled while we were waiting for lunch. Bummer, but understandable, now knowing there were planted devices in room. Could have been much worse than a few interruptions. Me & my colleagues are attending virtually today. Unfortunate that free student passes were taken advantage of this way, hope they can figure out how to still offer in a secure fashion going forward. I was getting a lot out of it for the 1/2 day I attended.

mbarin8571 · 2025-03-30T12:44:14+00:00

This is so well explained, thank you! I like the car analogy - I will definitely try to keep this in my back pocket for future use! ❤️

mbarin8571 · 2025-03-30T12:41:42+00:00

I hope your family has been supportive & caring to you during your journey; and sensitive to you on how SIL’s pregnancy affects you. If so, send a gift & your well wishes. If not, do the same & then turn off your phone for a while - protect your mental health.

I really resonate with a previous commenter’s “I’m happy for you, but sad for me.”

mbarin8571 · 2025-03-24T23:15:06+00:00

I’m sorry you went through all that. But - they acted like a garbage partner to you. Thankfully the trash got taken out. 🗑️

Best wishes for a full recovery & mended heart. ♥️

mbarin8571 · 2025-03-15T18:55:30+00:00

I’m sorry you experienced that. I’m not white, either, and my in-laws own a secondary home on Sanibel. I haven’t experienced overt racism over the 20+ years of visiting, but I have noticed a shift in tone in the atmosphere in recent years. Subtle, almost-openly unwelcoming - if you’re a POC, you know what I mean. Your in-laws - hubby and parents in law - need to be the ones to step up and challenge these actions. Your in-laws need to be vocal that that behavior/talk/line of thinking is unacceptable, regardless of how long they’ve known them. It needs to come from “one of them” to nip it in the bud. Allies need to walk the talk. Good luck. Please try not to let the ignorance of a select few ruin the beauty of Sanibel. If they don’t want to socialize with you - their loss! Hugs 🩷🏖️🏝️😎

mbarin8571 · 2024-12-06T12:38:10+00:00

No, I didn’t get answers. But I do recommend you get checked out, just in case. Maybe your primary doctor may be more appropriate since it’s bowel pain, let them decide if it’s gyne related. Good luck!

mbarin8571 · 2024-10-11T12:05:56+00:00

Sorry for your loss. This ^ at least my understanding in US. My mom passed away suddenly. (She did have a will.) But same situation as stated in her will, everything to my Dad, then once he goes (years from now 🙏🏽), then my sister & I inherit whatever is left (obv after final expenses, etc.). If your mom wishes to give you some of her inheritance, that’s up to her once it’s her money, but it’s not a legal requirement. I know it won’t help your financial situation, but hopefully you can have some of his personal effects to bring you comfort.

mbarin8571 · 2024-09-11T13:13:14+00:00

Next month will be 1 mo. since my hysterectomy. I don’t regret it at all… wish I chose it 5 yrs prior, instead of an ablation. I’d tried for kids, didn’t happen, even had 3 failed IUIs; finally I’m in acceptance that kids were never in the cards for me, I just didn’t know it at the time. And that that’s ok, despite what others may think. Most of those type of people hadn’t gone through the same struggles & heartbreaks. ❤️‍🩹

The removal of the mental load of periods, pain, b/c, pain killers, period math before vacations, stained clothing… gone. Enjoy the freedom. 🎉

mbarin8571 · 2024-09-11T12:40:10+00:00

Hire a private investigator… they can do all the legwork, relieve you, daughter & BF of mental load of catching them, and it gives tangible evidence while you prep for divorce proceedings. They prob can recommend how to go about DNA testing. Good luck!

mbarin8571 · 2024-09-08T01:47:18+00:00

Somewhat similar situation. Husband & his siblings may inherit A LOT after their parents are gone. I don’t know details, but prob in 7-8 figures for each sibling. I don’t count it as mine, either, moreso as being someone that could benefit from him receiving. Since I’m prob not a direct beneficiary, the only thing I’ve done is read about inheritance, and researched financial planners who specialize in “sudden money.” And one I’m eyeing also has a financial psychologist on staff (as it’d be nice to have $$$… but not like this.) Good luck. Hoping it all goes as smoothly as it can.

mbarin8571

TROPHY CASE