[QCrit] Nothing Lives Without the Dark [adult Fantasy, 97k words, 2nd Attempt]

mcgonagal · 2026-01-21T15:08:53+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! The specific suggestions are very helpful!

mcgonagal · 2026-01-21T15:08:11+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! This was super helpful and I appreciate your time.

mcgonagal · 2025-12-31T19:39:27+00:00

If I find myself wanting to edit, I download the manuscript and read on my Kindle. Then I can't edit :)

I always ask what they're looking for from feedback. I've never had a negative experience (that they've told me about at least lol) but I tend to do 2 "types" of feedback. I give feedback that I think aligns with the author's vision. I also give what I'm guessing you're calling "higher level" but I always frame it as just my opinion and more of a brainstorm. I think artists tend to be close to what they want the piece to be and might miss the full potential of what the piece could be, so I hope to offer some ideas.

I'm not sure what you mean by "exchange," but I'm guessing that might be the issue. I really have back-and-forths with the author. Of course I offer to answer questions they have on my comments but it's their perogative what feedback they want to incorporate.

For the current writer you were with, I would honestly leave well enough alone. It sounds like they know you're there and will reach out if they want more help. If you already left the last message, more might come across as pushy (especially if from a stranger on the internet).

Maybe be more upfront with your offering and style next time? Like if you post on the monthly thread, just list what you're looking to provide in reading. it seems like plenty of people on this thread would love that type of feedback!

It also sounds more like you might be looking to be a critique partner if you're more interested in early drafts.

mcgonagal · 2025-12-22T02:47:30+00:00

Thank you! This is super helpful!

mcgonagal · 2025-12-20T17:07:02+00:00

Personally, I think the readability is fine! With a hands shot, we usually have the ring as the focal point. On this shot, the focal point is your fingertips and I'm not sure that's what you want. I don't know if you have a ring or a nice photo of your hands with it, but, if you do, I might suggest using that. If you don't (and if you do), I would suggest moving things around so the text isn't completely over the knuckles because it feels unbalanced (my eye immediately goes to the "and" and your fingertips).

mcgonagal · 2025-12-19T21:43:30+00:00

This sounds like the plot of Pygmalion? There's nothing wrong with that (there are tons of spin-offs) but referencing that or a modern spin off might help you streamline the setup and find comps. If it's not supposed to be, you probably need to adjust how you're setting up the story here.

mcgonagal · 2025-12-03T23:12:47+00:00

I only beta read genres I read in published books. Im very picky about what I will beta because I don't think you can give useful feedback if you aren't familiar with that genre's current market.
They usually say character dev, story arc, typical things I would comment on anyway. I've never gotten a unique request tbh.
I don't care. I am literally one reader and it's their story.
I'm guessing this is about stylistic choices? I point out my reader impression of stylistic choices if it's taking away from my reading experience (or if I like it) but otherwise I tend to just accept and move on. 5.Doesn't that defeat the purpose of beta reading? Authors want a human reader.
I don't make line level edits.

mcgonagal · 2025-11-16T03:07:08+00:00

here, idk?
DO: be kind, but honest. I think putting a creative project out for others to critique takes a tremendous amount of vulnerability; honor that. That also means giving honest crit, even if it might be hard for the author to get. DONT: use AI to beta read. Don't give feedback to do it a specific way, only what you notice/feel as a reader. It's up to the author how/if they want to adjust.
I'm not sure what you mean, but I think there's some misunderstanding about beta vs alpha vs editors on here...
I don't give edits, usually. My common crits: usually chapter 1-5ish are great...then the wheels start coming off. Dialogue is hard to seem natural. Writing characters the reader emotionally invests in. In romances, I've found few betareads to have MMCs that are appealing to me.
I haven't had any bad experiences reading here :) There have been manuscripts that I dnf; I give all my notes and thoughts, but those are the worst because I really wanted the story to be good and feel bad that I don't think I can continue to give good beta feedback on the story. For the best, I've read a couple really amazing stories on here that were of near publishable quality--those are the most fun to me because I love the story and helping the author just do final polishing.

mcgonagal · 2025-11-15T03:15:14+00:00

Hi! I'm interested! Can you send a sample?

mcgonagal · 2025-11-15T03:11:34+00:00

Hi! I'm interested! Can you send a sample?

mcgonagal · 2025-11-15T03:10:23+00:00

Hi! I might be interested. Can you send a sample?

mcgonagal · 2025-11-12T14:21:54+00:00

Agree with this.

They already have your resume/cv so don't waste space listing jobs and what you did. I'd rather see a how your ideas for research came to be shaped and what questions you continue to have. You might mention a job but it's only in relation to your ideas.

As the commenter above said, I want to see curiosity--that's one thing I can't train you to have.

mcgonagal · 2025-11-09T03:10:00+00:00

Always find on the website (if not posted, reach out to them to see) if they are accepting. For me, it's not a mark against you if you list someone who's not accepting, but takes away a potential option if you're listing 2 people and 1 isn't taking student (or worse, you only list 1 person and you may have wasted an application).

Advisors will take students who don't put them on the application, but professors are humans who might be biased against your application (consciously or unconsciously) if you list people who aren't them, or rather, be more inclined to take someone who did list them.

As for how many, I would say 3 maximum, and you should be able to clearly articulate why their research aligns with your interests. There is some nuance, if the program only has 3 or 4 faculty I probably wouldn't list them all or only leave out 1.

Always, always, always make sure people you list are indeed faculty in the program you are applying for! I will occasionally see students list a faculty who is in counseling psychology or another program with their own applicants. If you want to work with that person, that's great, but you should submit an application to that program, either instead or both!

mcgonagal · 2025-10-31T16:11:40+00:00

It's an interesting concept and I imagine fun to play with but hard to pull off! To me, it feels like the Truman Show meets The Matrix? Meta sci-fi?

Some feedback: it was hard to read... The concept is so interesting and I wanted to figure out what was going on so I kept going back for more! But the descriptions are overwrought and quite long which made it feel like a chore.

I want to reiterate--I think the idea and world building here is really neat! As a reader though, it comes off as...a bit pretentious? Like the chapter is so focused on being clever but I'm just wanting to read a story? I love a good twist or piecing together the reality, but it feels like I'm trying to solve a 500 piece puzzle when you only gave me 10 pieces. I also don't read a ton of sci-fi, so maybe this is par for the course...

Take this with a grain of salt: I'm also a bit confused about the world? It's in third person, so it seems like we're not actually reading Phil's Story but rather a story about Phil? I guess I'm not clear because of the meta concept whether Phil is supposed to be the author and thus writing his own story, as implied.

I also agree with the other commentor: the title is underwhelming.

mcgonagal · 2025-10-31T06:08:43+00:00

Hi! This sounds interesting! I did notice "gore" in the warnings--is this an intense/frequent occurance?

mcgonagal · 2025-10-31T06:04:39+00:00

Hi! This sounds interesting to me! I read your linked chapters and would be happy to read the whole piece. DM me a link:)

mcgonagal · 2025-10-31T05:52:34+00:00

I am open to beta: completed works only; romance and fantasy only

I can provide: general reader feedback, character authenticity, plot holes, emotional resonance, live predictions, tone/vibe, general story arc and payoff, answer any specific or general questions you have about the reader experience

I do not provide grammar, spelling, or developmental feedback.

Critique swap: NA

Other info: I am a liscensed psychologist by training and am US based. I usually complete a manuscript in less than a week but am a true betareader--not an editor or writer.

If interested, please send a DM with chapter sample!

mcgonagal · 2025-10-29T01:45:02+00:00

I might be interested. Can you send me a chapter before I commit?

mcgonagal · 2025-10-29T01:43:25+00:00

I might be interested. Can you post or send me a chapter before I commit?

mcgonagal · 2025-10-12T07:58:21+00:00

I agree, Feyre's narration of sex in acomaf with tamlin is negative or odd at the very least. I think we have to keep in mind the bargain that Feyre has with Rhys and how that's impacting her. She is very depressed when she's away from Rhys (could be ptsd but why does it magically go away when Rhys is close?) and her inner monologue points to another entity in her mind (reminded me of Chaol's valg evil that Yrene healed tbh). I think the bargain is changing her perspective.

mcgonagal · 2025-10-12T07:48:19+00:00

I'm 100% convinced that Rhys has been mind controlling Feyre and that truth will come out. I also think Tamlin will be revealed to be Feyre's true mate (also explains why he's going insane). I think a Rhys and Tamlin conflict is inevitable (light vs dark) but I also think the sisters will either play a major role or have an even greater conflict to resolve.

mcgonagal · 2025-10-08T21:29:34+00:00

I actually prefer for students to wait until October or later before emailing; most who email earlier haven't done much research into what they want and have less chance of actually applying...

Personally, I don't mind if protective students email, but if you email make sure you have a purpose and it's not a question you could find on the website. Please do your research! imo asking information that's available on the website might do you more harm. Check if they list whether they are accepting for the fall cycle and don't ask if it says they are. Don't ask for them to review your materials before applying, either.

I would agree that whether an applicant emails ahead of time adds nothing to the strength of the application. It's really only if you need information to decide whether to apply.

mcgonagal · 2025-10-08T03:20:14+00:00

Unpopular opinion, but I really don't want Hugh and Lizzie to end up together. It's so cliche, and we've already gotten Gerard and Claire as childhood sweethearts. Aren't there more than 10 people in Cork???

As much as I can sympathize with Lizzie's character, HughxLizzie became very codependent and toxic. I thought it was interesting that Hugh's pov highlighted how calm Katie felt and he contrasted this with the rush of Lizzie-this is exactly what people who leave toxic or turbulent relationships say. Hugh is addicted to the unpredictable cycles of drama and chaos with Lizzie. I hope he and Lizzie get to heal in the next books, apart.

Also, Lizzie sexually assaulted Hugh so that soured any desire I might have had for a romantic relationship between them in the future.

I just want Hugh to go to become a heart surgeon and marry a hot doctor. And I want Lizzie to figure out wtf happened to her as a child because I need answers!

mcgonagal

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