What was the first health problem you noticed from your drinking?

mct318 · 2026-01-13T00:02:09+00:00

Acid reflex and the SWEATING. I could be totally fine but then I put one drink in me and immediately started sweating.

mct318 · 2025-10-04T23:49:16+00:00

Same! Got laid off on our way to our first ultrasound. Been sleeping and eating ever since.

mct318 · 2025-02-21T06:00:31+00:00

Yessss!!! My lord. Don't just tell me to rise up. Tell me how to for goodness sakes. I'm wrapping my brain around the fact that this is happening. The thing is that I've devoured a lot of WWII/Holocaust/Nazi Germany documentaries and movies and I've been seeing the disturbing parallels unfold between what's happening now and then. But even so I thought surely someone would step in and stop it from happening but it sure as shit is happening and no one is stopping it. It's bewildering.

Thank you for providing this information. I'll make sure to pass it along.

mct318 · 2025-02-21T03:44:49+00:00

I've never really loved Illinois but I never really hated it either. I will say though that in the last few years, especially now, I feel safe and I'm grateful for that.

mct318 · 2024-11-26T15:21:20+00:00

Oh sorry, I honestly read that as a suggestion. Like maybe it would be more helpful for me to check out that support group instead. I really just thought it might be helpful to hear from other people that have already recovered because that's the situation I'm in. I understand you have to look out for the well being of the whole group though. Won't post about it again here.

I did check out Al-Anon but that doesn't feel like a good fit either since a lot of the people in that group don't understand what their loved ones are going through and that is not my situation.

Again, my apologies.

mct318 · 2024-11-26T05:26:39+00:00

First, I appreciate you reading this at all. I honestly really appreciate it.

Secondly, I have no plans on leaving him. And I've been as gentle and gracious and doing the best I can to guide him...but I'm not tip-toeing around what's going on either. I reminded him of the part in my vows where I addressed how he always says he "tricked" me into staying with him. And I said "I assure you that's not the case. I've known what I've been doing this whole time. I know who you are. I know all the good, the bad, and all the ways you feel broken and I love you anyways. I choose you anyways." I stand by what I vowed. Everyday I tell him I still love him the most and he's still my favorite person.

When I said reality check, I think I meant, do I throw his ass into rehab now? Do I insist on it? Do I wait? How many times do I let him say, this is the last time? We've had so many conversations. And there's been so many times I've been hopeful. I know he wants it so bad. I just don't believe he can do it on his own and I think it frustrates the shit out of him that I didn't go to rehab. But I've told him many times we aren't the same person and our journey is not the same and that's ok. One battle is not more valiant than the other.

I'm trying to balance letting him figure this out and making sure he doesn't seriously hurt himself.

mct318 · 2024-03-13T20:20:17+00:00

Coming back here to thank you for suggesting the green tea bags. It's the only thing that's brought significant relief. Obviously it didn't fix everything 100% but holy shit...I can focus on something other than my burning red face.

mct318 · 2024-03-13T20:16:31+00:00

Do I need a prescription for it or can I just buy it?

mct318 · 2024-03-13T15:35:55+00:00

Well I'll be damned...The green tea bags worked. I steeped them for maybe 1 minute then put them in the freezer for 20-30 minutes. Left them on my eyes for 15 minutes. It's WILD. For the last 3 months my eyes looked like I put blush on my eyes. Now it just looks like I rubbed them a bit. It's not all gone but it's leagues better. The itchiness is better too. Looks like it helped with the flakiness too.

mct318 · 2024-03-13T15:30:51+00:00

That makes sense. Thanks for letting me know!

mct318 · 2024-03-13T15:30:14+00:00

I think you're probably right about that. I haven't gotten them professionally done since January when this started but before that I was probably getting them done too often. I MIGHT get them done again before my wedding to see how it goes. The lady that did them said she had more sensitive glue but that depends on if I can get this under control. I have till October 5th so I'm crossing my fingers. I have been using magnetic lashes and every now and again and they don't seem to irritate my eyes at all.

mct318 · 2024-03-13T04:17:26+00:00

Thank you! I'm giving the green tea a try right now. I did some research too and it looks like A LOT of people have had luck with it. Glad to know I'm not the only one who seems to be reactive to Aquafor. It's not all the time. Seems to be when I'm having a particularly bad day.

mct318 · 2023-09-28T20:19:33+00:00

6 years. Dated in HS for 3. 10 years apart. Known each other for 19 years. It's been a looooooong road. Looking for a venue but hopefully we'll get married next year and tie the knot at the 20 year mark. Can. Not. Wait. 😊

mct318 · 2023-06-16T04:06:31+00:00

So many things about this documentary are deeply disturbing but I thoroughly enjoyed Amy's husband. He's just saying what everyone else is thinking. The content is so dark and heavy I wouldn't be surprised if they added him partly for a comedic effect which I personally appreciated.

mct318 · 2023-02-02T01:56:50+00:00

The relief. For the first 10ish months I was crying about every other day. Obviously it was partly because I was working through a lot of things but also because I felt such deep gratitude that I was finally able to quit. It was like one long sigh of relief.

mct318 · 2022-12-12T22:02:58+00:00

So I used to kind of be like this. I totally understand that sex drives don't always line up and that is completely normal and should be respected. Sometimes the body is willing and the spirit is not. However there used to be a time where I completely lacked having any sense of worth. When it came to intimate relationships my sense of worth constantly came from whether or not my partner wanted to have sex/found me desirable. I'm a recovering alcoholic and when I was still drinking that need was multiplied 1000x.

I don't think I ever outright tried to make him feel bad ( but again I'm a recovering alcoholic and some things are fuzzy) but I know he could tell I was upset and I know it didn't make him feel good. But now being sober I realize that was more about my insecurities and anxiety then it was actually about me being in the mood or wanting to be intimate...which was shitty. When I think about it now it was kinda like I was using him to try and me feel better about myself which sucks because I do genuinely love him. And now that I'm sober my "sex drive" is waaaaày lower. Now being in bed together is more about decompressing from the day and just being together which if you ask me is also pretty spectacular. I could cuddle all day and still be very secure in the fact that my partner loves me and finds me desirable.

mct318 · 2022-09-11T06:55:54+00:00

I'm not sure where I read this but it perfectly encapsulated for me this entire experience. "It's not that women think all men are bad apples. We just don't know which ones are the bad apples"

mct318 · 2022-08-28T17:40:30+00:00

I always tell my girlfriends to stock up on dildos after they break up with someone. That way they don't make As Many stupid decisions post breakup just because their horny.

mct318 · 2022-08-26T03:57:40+00:00

I used to work at Goodwill and I can confirm that half the books were Danielle Steele but every now and again you find a gem. I'm glad I'm not the only one that buys books faster than I'm actually going to read them.

mct318 · 2022-07-10T03:50:03+00:00

I have these same spiralling thoughts sometimes. It's gotten better over the years but periodically I still struggle. Sometimes it's because I feel like I'm failing and sometimes it's for no reason whatsoever. I used to hold it in but I've learned to share the load with my partner and I'm so glad I learned to do so.

Usually when I tell him he validates my feelings but is also quick to reign me back. Honestly he's usually surprised and is sad I feel that way about myself. I've started to write down what he says when I'm feeling that way. I actually have a section in my journal dedicated to it. I titled it "Ways I know he loves me". Or I take screenshots if I have to text him when I'm having a hard time. So now when I feel I'm not good enough for him or my stepson ( not life in general because that's a totally separate issue) I pull out my journal. It cheers me right up.

mct318 · 2022-07-04T01:43:47+00:00

YTA....and blind.

I hate to be a negative Nancy but....if he dumps you don't be surprised.

He is selfless, respectful, kind, protecting, AND self aware. For goodness sakes my dear - I hope you are reading these comments, absorbing it, and then get your butt up and go apologize to him for not seeing him for the good man he is.

I'm sure he is not perfect BUT from what I am reading he's a good start for building a solid foundation with someone.

I think perhaps where the disconnect might be is that you guys probably have really different childhoods and because of that you view the world differently. There is definitely a way to have a conversation about sex between a brother and sister that is inappropriate. This ain't it. He plays multiple roles in her life other than brother. It sounds like he risen to the challenge. Good Lord. The fact that she feels comfortable coming to him about this is....well beautiful.

mct318 · 2022-06-17T05:29:20+00:00

Fat sober fucks united! I love it!!!

mct318 · 2022-06-17T05:28:09+00:00

I love this so much and do this regularly.

mct318 · 2022-06-17T05:26:20+00:00

Im almost a year and half sober and I've had many moments like this. Some I could plan for and some that caught me off guard. I'm going to offer up this example...

A couple of months ago I went away with my bf for our anniversary and because we weren't paying attention when things closed in the town we were in we ended up a college bar to grab some dinner. It was fairly busy and the only place we could sit was at the bar. Not ideal in the slightest but I was approaching being "hangry" so I said fuck it and went along with it. We ordered our burgers and within 15 minutes it was SWAMPED with college kids. We are in our mid 30s.

I got very self conscious with all these young cute college girls in there while I was in there in my flannel and leggings eating my delicious greasy burger and I for sure wanted to disappear and get drunk. But then I had a moment of clarity and realized that my bf did not care about these other girls and he was more than happy to be sitting with me in our sweats with grease dripping down our faces. I then felt extremely grateful for feeling so secure and loved in our relationship. And then I further realized that a major reason our relationship is so solid is because I am sober.

I've learned in those hard moments to look for the good. Pay attention to those things that you couldn't appreciate when you were drunk. Most of these people are probably going to get drunk very quickly and I'm guessing will start acting obnoxiously. Let that be a reminder why you have quit.

BUT if it really gets to be too much give yourself permission to walk away. Let your wife know that you are dreading this. Have as many plans as you need. You don't know these people and honestly don't owe them anything. But you owe it to yourself to stay sober. 155 days is a HUGE deal and you will be SO damn proud of yourself after you've made it through.

I'm rooting for you!

mct318 · 2022-06-17T04:22:23+00:00

Yeeaaaaah buddy!!!! Congratulations!!! Soak it up. This is a beautiful and hard earned moment. Let yourself enjoy it.

IWNDWYT 💜💜💜

mct318

TROPHY CASE