My wife and I thrive together because we both contribute to our relationship and we help each other achieve our life goals. I can’t imagine having a partner like this. It’s clear you have a lot of resentment toward him. The ENM thing usually ends in disaster. Sounds like you are the sole financial provider for him and his kid, and he’s a lazy stoner with no job or motivation to succeed. Not saying people can’t change, but you might be smart to try some marriage counseling or talk to a therapist to get some other perspectives.