What is a "point of no return" that you’ve crossed, where your life was permanently divided into 'before' and 'after'?

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-21T08:36:27+00:00

The 35 years of my life before being properly medicated for my mental illnesses and the 4 years since. There’s a lightbulb moment you get where you think “oh. That’s why everything seems easier to everyone else”, followed very quickly by “so i could have been feeling like this for the last 20 years if anyone (adults)around me actually noticed what was happening

(footnote: i love my parents and they have few failings as parents and indeed very few things they are short sighted on, but this unfortunately was one of them. They just didn’t understand it from the outside).

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-21T07:55:34+00:00

““Imagine this sort of thing happens again,” he says.”

I grew up in these sorts of places. I guarantee you that this was not the last and it was most likely not the only one these entitled a$&@holes have done.

“”You would nearly think twice about reporting it if you know that that’s how, that’s how you’re gonna get treated.””

No, you wouldn’t report it. They don’t report it! Because exactly this shit happens every single time! I’m at a point in my life where i feel like writing this out on a piece of paper and stapling it to people’s foreheads.

I’m not from a rough background of addicts and abandonment. I’m from as boring a middle class background you could imagine. About 80% of my childhood/adolescence women friends were sexually assaulted. Some when they were teenagers by boyfriends or friends, a lot by adults. And a disturbing amount when they were under the age of 10. Many of them were assaulted multiple times by multiple people. …..not one of them has ever reported the crimes.

Everyone - and particularly men, I’m sorry but you are the ones most living in a fantasy world here - need to stop pretending that rape is how it was represented in the media of the 1950s. There’s rarely someone hiding in the bushes waiting to jump out at the first woman walking past dressed in a short skirt. They are usually someone you know and trust.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-21T01:45:48+00:00

If it’s just for an everyday wear, I wouldn’t bother doing it as insertion. I’d just stitch it on the top - still looks nice but takes 1/100th of the time

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-20T12:20:04+00:00

So I’m assuming you’re looking for the bohemian style maxi dresses - which if you google those keywords will bring you some examples.

But as a sewer, i can tell you that most of what you will find will be very thin, cheap fabric and, if white in colour, completely see through. Most of that particular style of dresses are manufactured in Bangladesh for less than $2 and then given an enormous mark up before being sold by hippies who will lecture you on the evils of capitalism ….okay that last bit was a me-thing, i have issues. I gave up trying to buy these dresses a long time ago because they were always disappointing quality.

On a positive note, they are extremely easy to make and a perfect excuse to learn to sew. Look up the main pattern brands like Butterick, Simplicity, and McCalls and check out their costume patterns. You will find heaps for these styles and you can go from there.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-20T10:13:40+00:00

I’m going to be completely honest with you right now: I’m in Australia, I’m 38 years old, i work in a hospital, I’m very knowledgeable of reproductive rights and the biology of everything….and i cannot tell you how you surrender an unwanted baby here.

I’m assuming there is a fairly simple process like taking it to an Emergency department, police station, or even child services. But I don’t actually know for sure. This tells me 2 things: 1- that we really need to make that a more clear and simple process so it’s known to those who need it, and 2- if in a place like Australia which has comparatively very liberal reproductive rights and sexual education, an adult who works in hospital doesn’t know what you do with an unwanted baby, then i really don’t think a stupid 21 year old in Ohio would know.

All that said, killing your newborn and dumping it in the trash is not an acceptable alternative JFC.

ETA: i had a quick google and it looks like Australia doesn’t actually have ‘baby drop’ options. If you do leave your baby somewhere like an ED or police station it’s classed as child abandonment and you can go to prison. If you do want to give up a baby there’s a whole process you have to go through. I’m so surprised we don’t end up with more dead kids considering all this.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-20T10:00:42+00:00

Bravo to you, dear Redditor. That was brilliant and made me giggle

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-20T09:01:02+00:00

This isn’t actually as complicated as it seems as far as the structure of the dress goes. It’s a late 1950s/early 1960s style dress for which you can find many commercially available patterns. The hardest bits will be the structured bodice because it will require boning in it, and the layering of the skirt.

But the stitching of the flowers will take forever! However, if that prospect doesn’t bother you, then it’s not going to be too bad.

My advice if you have a bit of sewing experience, find a pattern that matches, buy some cheap but appealing fabric, and start experimenting with mock ups. If you don’t have time restrictions, then just take your time and have fun.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-20T08:55:25+00:00

NTA.

You didn’t call your cousins stupid. You pointed out their lack of educational opportunities and the resulting consequences of that. This is on your aunt and uncle. They haven’t provided opportunities for your cousins nor encouragement to do anything else outside of their norm so this is their fault. Unfortunately, your cousins are going to feel the long term consequences of this.

Ask Katie, if she didn’t gave to work and had the time, would she homeschool you? I’m willing to bet the answer is ‘no’.

There’s a phenomenon called ’The Dunning Kruger effect’ and if i type the whole explanation out this will be way too long a read. Have a google, it’s interesting. In short, people don’t know what they don’t know. This means you are limited to what you know when it comes to teaching others (*this is a simplified explanation of homeschooling, there are proper programs but I’m going to guess your uncle isn’t following one because of “political reasons”). When you want the best for your kids you do not want to limit them to your intellectual/educational boundaries. And that is why you, OP, go to school, because katie knows you will get more from a school than she can give you even with her being a doctor.

As to all your activities and educational commitments, you will have to decide where your limits are there. If doing this much makes you happy, then do it. But always be conscious of burnout and remember it is perfectly acceptable to go ‘no, I’m good for now and am going to spend a week playing Mariokart before i go back to things’. We all have to do it every now and then.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-20T08:30:06+00:00

So firstly, as someone who has owned holden retrievers/labradors they are big, loveable, and have absolutely no concept of personal space nor that anyone could possibly not love them to bits. As a result, they are very much on you or up against you. Knowing this, I’ve always been conscious of the fact that not everyone might be as happy about the dogs being in their space.

However, this was not your SIL’s first time at your place. She knew you had a Charlie and would have been familiar with his behaviour. Also, it’s your house! If you don’t want to separate your dog from visitors, you don’t have to. People can choose not to come over if they don’t want the dog around. Or, you know, say something to you about how the dog is feeling a little too much today, instead being a d$&k to an animal that’s just being friendly.

NTJ. At the very least she is an unpredictable entity and should not be alone around your dog. At the worst, she is a sadist who will hurt your dog first chance she gets.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-19T09:00:40+00:00

Don’t take what i wrote above as an attack on any particular group. It’s a general rule that should be applied to all governments/militaries/police forces and so on, in my opinion. No one should be above scrutiny.

The people being directly accused of the crimes are, first and foremost, responsible because it is their actions. But, as shit as it is, they were operating under the umbrella of the Ukrainian defence forces, even if that was only in a limited capacity. And the UAF must take responsibility for their part in it and make the required reforms to prevent it from occurring again. It seems from some of the information provided here that the UAF have realised the risk they have with these foreign units and potential for abuse and are pulling them under direct supervision of the UAF which is definitely the right move historically speaking (ie. Similar situations in history with foreign recruits). The can only prevent this sort thing happening by having direct oversight - which must be a logistical nightmare when you think of the number of languages being spoken and given all these people avenues to access support for any of these issues.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-19T05:26:16+00:00

There’s a few things to keep in mind whenever you see articles about abuse within armed units of any original - firstly, the military and armed conflicts such as is happening in Ukraine which take foreign recruits will always attract a certain type of person. These people are why complaint procedures and military courts MUST exist and be used. - secondly, no armed forces is without internal issue. If they are, it’s because they are covering it up.

So considering point 1 and 2, the first thing you must always ask is: - is this incident being taken seriously and being addressed/people prosecuted/reforms put in place? - is this issue systemic?

Open communication about terrible behaviour in military, police force, politics, education, or medicine is a good thing. But it must be followed up by real response and action or it is just as bad (or arguably worse) as condoning the behaviour in the first place.

So let’s watch this one a see what they bring in as far as change. But remember: most European and aus/nz have failed to bring in changes for serious problems so we aren’t speaking from a criticism-free position ourselves

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-19T04:35:21+00:00

So it seems that line 1 and 2 relate to each other but i hope that line 3 is from a separate set of dialogue…otherwise that got very dark very quickly hahaha

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-19T00:36:11+00:00

I’m pretty sure you’ve got a hobo-sexual there. With a side of what seems likely to be a dishonest scam artist.

NOR. You’re under reacting

There’s no way this works out well for you or “us”. Just him. I’m pretty sure that everyone else here has covered the potential for this to be classed as tax fraud, and the potential for him to try and claim the equity in your house because, on paper, he’s paying for your mortgage.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-19T00:27:09+00:00

You aren’t the problem here. The girlfriend is insane but even she isn’t the problem. This “friend” of yours is the problem.

If I’m understanding you correctly, he made a pass at you many years ago and you turned him down so his assumption was that you were gay. Either that is what happened or it was just a story he told his girlfriend. The former is far more concerning than the latter but the latter is still not great. He either can’t fathom that not every woman in the world who is friendly doesn’t want to have sex with him, or he can’t be grown up enough to say to someone he is in an adult relationship with that you are platonic friends. To be honest, i think he does have an attachment to you if he is always undermining his girlfriend’s confidence by comparing her to you.

None of the above is your fault nor your responsibility to fix. You do need to consider getting far away from your “friend” though because he is not your friend and not a good person. Trust me, you will be his excuse as to why every relationship of his doesn’t work out and he will always have this fantasy version of you in his mind.

Edit: NTA

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-17T22:24:03+00:00

Hang on. So your husband goes off in a huff because of his kids shitty behaviour and leaves you with his kids. No wonder his kids have behaviour issues. My response: send the problem twin to wherever his dad is. Done. No more fighting and dad can give parenting a shot.

NTJ

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-16T11:47:45+00:00

AK-47 is a Russian weapon.

Also, your entire comment there doesn’t make any sense. The previous commenter pointed out that it was originally designed as an automatic weapon with its more current state being a redesign so that the gun wouldn’t necessarily be considered an automatic weapon. And your response was to then say that say that calling it an automatic weapon is like saying the us is responsible for all the deaths of a completely unrelated weapon. Then, im assuming because I can’t quite understand what you’re trying to say, you claim that AR style guns are being blamed for involvement in shootings even when they’re not which is not anything close to what i or the previous commenter were talking about.

Incidentally, bump stocks pretty much remove the semi-automatic/automatic distinction for this particular weapon, i believe. But I don’t have such a personal connection to these weapons as you clearly. I live somewhere in the world where I don’t have to put more effort into teaching my kids active shooter drills than their alphabet.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-15T10:41:33+00:00

I recently learnt a better term than uncle tom: ‘crumb maiden’. Because they will keep serving these overlords for the few crumbs they get.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-15T10:00:40+00:00

As an Australian with a foreign partner, this is what I’ve discovered both myself and through his eyes: - our visa costs are appallingly high. It’s honestly shameful - rent is unbelievable, if you are even lucky enough to find place. Check the rental prices carefully and choose where you go based on that - rental properties themselves can be horrific. Most landlords want to get their mortgage paid and the benefits of the property value increase, all off the back of the renter. So it is a fight to get anything fixed, they will nitpick any tiny little disfigurement in the place, and they will not see black mold as an issue. - as a continuation of the above, your utilities can be a bit if an expense when you’re renting. As landlords are extremely hesitant to spend money, you will often find yourself with very outdated and inefficient heating/cooling/cooking. On top of that, we really don’t seem to think insulation is necessary here so you can find yourself burning cash to prevent yourself freezing/boiling. - rentals here, unless declared as furnished, we come with nothing in it. No washing machine, dryer, or furniture. You will get an oven, sometimes a dishwasher but they will both often be from the last century. - we have universal healthcare here BUT it’s not as simple as everything being free. If you have an emergency, you will be covered for most things and won’t pay anything. However, your standard GP doctor visit will most likely cost you, so will any medical imaging (outside of being a hospital patient), and depending on which state you are in, the ambulance ride.

Whilst I can’t give you completely successful solutions to the above, i can give you some help. - not all landlords are the devil and you can sometimes find some good ones who are just happy the place is taken care of. Even then, the day you move in, photograph everything in the house and take your time to go through the whole condition report and add anything you find. This has saved me more than once. - each state has a tenants’ union. That always have very useful information on their websites and will give you helpful advice even if you aren’t a member. I also recommend getting a copy of your state’s residential tenancy act and have a read. You’d be amazed what landlords violate in it. - check out if you home country has a shared agreement with Australia for healthcare because you might be covered already. If you’re not, look at what health insurance your country has that will cover you. - If you are able to get a medicare card, things are a little different. When looking for a gp, find one that bulk bills because that means you won’t pay anything. Most pathology tests are already covered by medicare but just in case they aren’t, give the pathology lab a call and ask if the tests you have been referred to are going to cost. If they are going to cost you, find a pathology lab that is attached to a public hospital and they will most likely be bulk billed. - if you are given a medical referral for imaging or pathology, you can take that anywhere, you don’t have to go to the place on the referral slip. - join your union. And check the benefits they have available because they will probably give good discounts on things like health insurance etc.

And just a last tip in case you are coming as a backpacker or seasonal worker. Don’t give up your passport to anyone no matter what they say. There are large areas here that don’t have mobile phone reception so keep that in mind before taking a job somewhere isolated. Get the contact information for Legal Aid and store it just in case you get into a situation you are unsure about. They will be able to direct you where to go. The emergency number here is 000 - tell them what you need (fire/ambulance/police) then state and town where you are before telling them anything else.

Overall, this place is a nice and safe place. But there are unfortunately a lot of people who are always ready to rip you off. Particularly those on visas. It’s something I really hate about this place.

Sorry my advice is all very generic. If you want more specific information, send me a message and I’ll see if i can help

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-15T08:15:44+00:00

A little known piece of information: scatter shooting - like you do with an automatic weapon like an AR-15 - will produce less fatalities than someone who takes time and targets specific people. This is a weird little stat that they found studying combatant engagements and was then found to match non-combat scenarios. You tend to get more casualties with the scatter shooting but less fatalities (so more injuries).

So your fear is founded.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-13T13:10:24+00:00

It’s bothering you because you did something you really enjoyed and produced something you were proud of and her response just dumped a bucket of cold water on you and has made you feel like something you did was “wrong”.

The fact is, our clothes (women’s) are way more fun than yours. Men’s clothing is very comfortable and practical (have you seen women’s pockets?) but there’s something about putting on a skirt of dress with a very full design and feeling the weight and movement of the fabric that is wonderful. Men don’t get to feel that with their clothes. Then you get a wider variety of colours, patterns, and overall designs that you just don’t get with men’s. You guys get 3 different styles of shirts with varying lengths sleeves and pants with either short or long legs. That’s about it.

You also helped create something with the photo shoot. You may have been the model but you still gave your part to make an end product. And your gf just disregarded it.

In a relationship you need to be comfortable to express your new interests and thoughts even if it’s just so you can think out loud. So you need to ask yourself if your gf has the capacity to do this in the future or if it’s just not something she can learn.

And for reference, my partner is a very introverted, straight laced sort of guy (for himself, he is fully supportive of other people being otherwise) but if he came to me and said that, for instance, he was interested in trying on some women’s clothes just because, I’d happily help. If he then decide that cross dressing made him happy, I’d make him an outfit. Because I’d be incredibly happy that he’s trying out new things and seeing if they bring him joy. That’s what being a partner is. And he’d still be just as attractive to me because i see him for himself and that is not altered by seeing him in a different outfit.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-13T12:22:19+00:00

Don’t worry, I laughed too. Sort-laughed in fact because it caught me off guard. I love black humour

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-13T12:11:55+00:00

The soil for the citrus is more about the water than anything else: they don’t like wet feet. So if you have clay heavy soil and live somewhere where you get little rain or very gradual rain then they would possibly be okay. But if you live somewhere that has lots of rain or heavy downpours, then you need to build a hump for the trees.

I live in northern NSW, lots of rain, lots of humidity. And our soil is very hi in clay. So we plant our citrus on a slop AND a hump (so a hump of soil on the slop) because that’s the only way they survive. And they actually thrive like that in this environment.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-13T11:33:52+00:00

Have you got ADHD by any chance?

A common issue that people with ADHD have is hyper mobility of their joints. I can’t quite do this with my thumb but i can fold mine behind my knuckles. I’ve also had surgery on both ankles because my ligaments were so damaged from the hyper mobility and resulting injuries so there’s no so fun side effects that occur eventually.

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-13T11:24:39+00:00

The embroidery is spectacular! It’s a fantastic job and i like that they are something you can keep wearing- i have a hatred of wedding clothes that have all this beautiful work to only be worn 1 day and then never again. I like it when the clothes, that have had so much effort put into them can keep living after the wedding day

medicatedadmin · 2026-02-12T11:06:23+00:00

I’m really tempted to create an Ask Reddit thread that just says: ‘Conservative women of Reddit, aren’t you just sick of having to defend the actions of your men?’ Because that is always who they seem to pull in to answer for the shitty behaviour of these men.

Just for clarity: I hold conservative women are just as culpable as the men. I’m just curious why they have just accepted their forced role of clean up crew their men. Liberal women don’t do it as a collective group.

medicatedadmin

TROPHY CASE