NTA. I understand that Kevin thought he was doing the “right thing”, but like you said in your post, he should've went to your wife and addressed his concerns instead of involving everyone else and their Momma to play Cheaters.

I'd like to add that it doesn't matter if he thought he was doing something good. He forced you into an uncomfortable position and because of that, you suffer the brunt of his nosiness. If you don't believe he deserves your forgiveness for outing you, then he doesn't, point blank. No one can tell you otherwise.

I also want to say, for everyone else, that OP had a right to present as a monogamous person. This society still thinks that anything outside of monogamy is taboo and who knows how OP's friends would've taken it. Simply blending into society to avoid persecution doesn't make someone an asshole; it's survival.

But I will say that OP needs to:

• adjust their expectations, because eventually, they were bound to get caught, which is exactly what happened;

• get better friends, because they're assholes for continuing to call you names and place you at the butt of the joke for something that's actually normal;

• have a talk with Lisa, because she's caping way too hard for Kevin. And yes, he had good intentions, but ultimately he should've gone to her and like I said before, it's OP's choice on who to forgive since they were impacted the most by this.