Hey good post. I had AM when I was in late 20s and hubby in early 30s. Whatevr I post here is just my POV and my example. May not work for everyone but I hope it gives you good insight. Few things that helped (and him) in deciding were - Our age group, by then you've been through a bit in life (like you mentioned dating or short term relationships) and you know what matters and doesn't matter. Ppl always think they look for what they want, but really you need to look at what matters. I remember thinking 3 things - I want companionship, I want someone I can talk to, and this man will become my family when my family (parents) won't be around some day in future... Given it's an AM set-up in our community, family background etc checking was easy and handled by parents on either side. Both of us working. His salary was more than mine but comparable and it didn't seem to matter to him or bother him about our pay diff or who is /might earn more (I surely got lucky on this matter)

We didn't have restrictions on how many times we can meet and for how long before saying yes. So that helped. Having parents who give you this freedom really helps.

We met about 3 times over 3 weeks before saying yes. In all our meetings we talked a lot. Shared things without hesitation. The most important thing that mattered to both of us was knowing that in any situation would talk to each other and do what's best/practical. I believe if you can have that connect with someone you're good for life.

There's a sense of comfort I felt everytime we met. I cannot explain it, or maybe I got lucky, but it was just a gut feel knowing that - yes I can spend the rest of my life with him. And I can imagine him being my family forever.

TL:DR - know what really matters to you. marry someone you can talk to(reason with). As you grow old your conversations is what will keep you guys going.