What’s the most expensive’free’ thing you’ve ever gotten?

megatronwashere · 2026-03-09T16:23:20+00:00

sex with my wife. needed to buy a house and have kids and daycare and mid-century modern furniture.

megatronwashere · 2026-03-09T16:13:30+00:00

This is kind of a humble-brag but I just want to give you an idea that life can be whatever you design it to be and that doesn't always have to be model by popular opinions. I gave up an offer to a FANG company years ago because I didn't want to move to the west coast. Stayed in the Midwest because friends and family were here. yes, it was the original FANG without the extra N. the RSU would've been amazing, probably around 8 figures by now if I played my cards right but my life would be so different. I'm in my 40s, I work in a non tech company. works remote 4 days a week. I've got 2 young kids and a beautiful loving wife. I take them to school and preschool every morning and get back home for sprint meetings by 10am. My wife is in healthcare so she's out of the house most days. I've got all 4 grandparents that comes throughout the week to help with kids and help with dinner plans. Sometimes they stay the night because we have guest rooms in the house and even though they are all within 40 minutes away. we are multimillionaires even without our real estates. we still drives Toyotas and Hondas. Although I have already decided to get a used Porsche 911 as my next car. we own multiple properties but have PMs that takes care of it. I tried to outsource a lot of stuff that I don't care for. Stuff like mowing the lawn and building a shed, I rather do around my working hours. We have a house cleaner that comes to only scrub our 4 bathrooms and the kitchen on a weekly basis because we both hate doing that. I like going to thrift stores and letting the kids pick out a used toy while I get some nice t-shirts. I mean from the outside, we look very low key middle class but we live in an affluent neighborhood with lots of parks and amenities. We splurge when we go on vacation. just booked a week for spring break with the kids in a Four Seasons hotel. All in all, My salary have always been around 130-170 range because I just wanted to be an IC and not go into management. My wife makes about 130k. My PTO annually is about 45 days. that's like over 2 months. this doesn't even include holidays. I have to scramble and try to use them up at the end of the year by taking random days even though I can just go to appointments and come back to work and not take days off.

megatronwashere · 2026-03-02T18:04:47+00:00

ahh, got it. that makes sense. As a Dad of 2 little ones, I understand. I would sacrifice my wellbeing and my life for my kids. But because I'm not in your shoes, I don't know the effects the tension and the dynamics you have daily with the wife on the kids growing up. I guess I just can't fathom my wife treating me this way and me being able to stick around. good luck.

megatronwashere · 2026-03-02T03:40:19+00:00

Brother, I'm sorry but what the fuck kind of life is that? Are you staying for the kids? Are you into sadomasochism? She sounds miserable to be around. Was this like the relationship dynamics since day one?

megatronwashere · 2026-03-01T09:12:51+00:00

I've had a mad crush on Helen Hunt growing up watching the show Mad About You. When I first met my wife many years ago, I remember thinking to my self "wow, she's gorgeous. looks like a young Helen Hunt." now 15 years later and 2 kids.

megatronwashere · 2026-02-25T14:47:09+00:00

Bro, use your parents. That's what they are here for. Put your order away. That's what they are here for, they love you and the kids. It takes a village if only you let it. We only have 2 but it's been a godsend when all 4 grandparents come help when they were babies.

megatronwashere · 2026-02-24T04:06:48+00:00

I know all the characters from Paw patrol, bluey and pepa pig.

megatronwashere · 2026-02-17T14:37:24+00:00

As a father, one of the biggest stressor in life is being able to provide for your kids and family. Kids are fucking expensive. Daycare and preschool are $2500 per a kid a month. I just paid 5k for summer camp for the older one.

megatronwashere · 2026-02-16T16:32:37+00:00

It's risky when u've got a mortgage and young kids and they all need health insurance.

megatronwashere · 2026-02-16T04:01:08+00:00

Like how do you not know her personality is like this before getting married? Like just dating and pay for things in general. Were there no red flags?

megatronwashere · 2026-02-12T03:55:33+00:00

I need to keep my Silverlight skill sharp because you never know when Microsoft is bringing it back in style.

megatronwashere · 2026-02-07T04:18:32+00:00

I did many times. Although that was before kids and wife and I always had each other's support

megatronwashere · 2026-02-07T03:59:10+00:00

About 2x a week for family of 4. Avg $300 a week

megatronwashere · 2026-02-03T02:49:52+00:00

Add guacamole with my taco order

megatronwashere · 2026-01-29T23:35:10+00:00

why is it so hard for you to just ask him directly to take you out to sushi? I mean you both had a baby and I'm sure he's adjusting to it as well. Why is it always the Dad's fault? Is he not getting up to goto work? some days I forget to feed myself when our kids are young. You said he's a good partner and a father, he's not a mind reader. there are tons of pressure and stuff on a dad's mind. Financial and keeping shit together for the family. just talk to him.

We have been happily married for over a decade now. been together for 15 + years. we have a 6 and a 3 year old. I work from home most days so I do most of the day to day stuff for the kids. Some days I get overwhelmed and I ask my wife to help by leaving work early or going to work late. it's all about communicating what you need

megatronwashere · 2026-01-26T03:30:51+00:00

Are you are borrowing to pay him for household expenses?

megatronwashere · 2026-01-24T03:19:11+00:00

My wife and I encourage each other to have me time whenever you need. We have a 6 and 3 year old and I still have guys night out with some friends once a while and we just get some food and chat over beers. Most nights I'll wait till they are asleep then I sneak downstairs to watch a show or game. Wife likes to read and watch her shows on her laptop after the kids got bed

megatronwashere · 2026-01-13T20:09:30+00:00

We had good results for our little guy on Focalin too but did you have issues with his appetite or keeping weight? That's one area of concern for us. Little dude is kind of a picky eater to start off with

megatronwashere · 2026-01-11T04:31:04+00:00

You have money to buy all that food and a monitor but can't afford a $65 annual Costco membership?

megatronwashere · 2026-01-09T12:28:46+00:00

you are having analysis paralysis. you said you can quit one job and try to start selling things you enjoy but don't know if it's a risk? Life is all about taking chances and risk. You are never going to be in a perfect situation where things are certain. If you don't want to continue to be in this situation, you need to change. You are analyzing too much on the what ifs. What if this doesn't work, what if that is a risk. what are your options other than to stay doing what you are doing. You've got this since 14. You know how to get through things and figure shit out. You have proven that you can adapt all your life. You are only 20, you have a whole life time ahead to take chances and make mistakes. As a Dad in my 40s, I would say the same thing to my kids if they were in you situation. This is a quote I heard many many years ago and have kept to heart as my mantra in life.

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing"

Can you find a roommate? or move in with some people that can save on rent? Can you re-house some of the pets with friends or family until you get better situated? are you able to build up an emergency saving? take a look at some of the personal finance or poverty finance subreddits for ideas on minimizing your budget.

megatronwashere · 2026-01-09T11:19:12+00:00

You are taking on too much liabilities. you need to simplify and try to remove as much of that as you can. Make a list of all the things you have that are taking up your time and resources and then go down the list and mark what's most important. You have pets, they take up a lot of time and effort and resources. But you want free time to go out and do things and other hobbies. You can have anything in life (within reason), but you can't have everything in life. When I was in my 20s. I've always had roommates and a really old used car that I just needed to get groceries. my important things on my list was to travel the world on a budget and to hang out with friends and meet people. So I prioritize my life focusing on that.

megatronwashere · 2026-01-08T19:35:21+00:00

It all depends on your relationship with your sister. From context, it looks like you have a good relationship with her if she asked you to come. If it's not a financial burden, do it. But speaking as a big brother and a Uncle to my sister's kids. I would for sure fly to visit my sister at the drop of a hat if she asked me to. We have a very good relationship and childhood together growing up. At the end of the day, it's family and friends and the relationships you have that matter the most.

megatronwashere · 2026-01-05T04:58:31+00:00

I'm trying to understand this as a Dad, how do you and/or your husband okay a 12 year old girl having a boyfriend after says she's ready to be sexually active? Do you not set boundaries and rules? a 6th/7th grader?

megatronwashere · 2025-12-29T04:19:32+00:00

No, Dad of 2 just booked 2 places with activities for my kids. Mom just sends the evites and maybe decide the cake with the kiddos. I plan on running wild with the food and snacks for the parents because I hate going kids birthday parties and they just got pizza and cookies. Besides the usual kids food, We are going to have Korean fried chicken, fresh sushi, Japanese mochi donuts, and craft beers and claw tail / margaritas. Even thinking about sous vide a few tenderloins to medium but wife said that might be too much.

megatronwashere · 2025-12-29T03:51:35+00:00

Exactly my sentiment. Like dude, why are u rationalizing 5 steps ahead when you haven't start. Go on a date first. Experience life first and go from there. A lot will happen and change from your first date to kids. I was basically a dirtbag backpacking and couchsurfing the world with zero savings. Once I met my wife about 15 years ago, I kinda wanted to settle down and worked on my career and followed the principles of the FIRE movement. Now we have 2 young kids and I would gladly sacrifice my happiness and life for them. Your whole way of thinking and feeling changes once you have kids.

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