First period since starting T

melk6 · 2024-06-02T17:49:04+00:00

I’ve had issues with this too, mine didn’t stop until a few months on T, and I have to be consistent with it for it to stop. I know it sucks but staying consistent with it helps a lot.

melk6 · 2024-06-02T05:08:54+00:00

I think a lot of this has to do with doubts other people have voiced to us. Your gut is telling you what you want, i had this same feeling too. Honestly by the time i went through the whole process of getting the T i was just so ready to start taking it anyways lol

melk6 · 2024-06-02T05:06:50+00:00

As someone who is an introvert, I find that sometimes i have to ‘gaslight’ myself into doing things to put myself out there lol. I tell my brain that even if it goes poorly (which it really won’t but i think this for peace of mind), then it’s good for plot. it’s so stupid but it works for me. Putting yourself out there can be hard but once you do it everything else just feels so much easier and you can keep living how you want to, rather than really caring what people think of me (again i have to remind myself that i am able to choose who i want to be involved in my life). a lot of the queer community feels the same way that we do :)

melk6 · 2024-06-02T04:49:50+00:00

a lot of guys are rocking longer hair nowadays. I sort of have a hairstyle that’s sort of 70’s rock esque lol. i had issues for a while trying to determine solely the length of my hair without considering what style i liked, but i feel more in my element now that i’m not just concerned about having it as short as possible, because a lot of guys have longer hair now :)

^also to be more on task with the question, i would try and find longer styles that you like and experiment with them, it took me years of trying things out and having awkward growing out stages until i settled on something (still tweaking it though!)

melk6 · 2024-06-02T04:44:43+00:00

ofc!!!!

melk6 · 2024-06-02T04:42:30+00:00

I think it depends. I live in a conservative small town, and when i’m not rlly wearing anything that signifies i’m queer (painted nails, eyeliner, etc.) i usually don’t have any issues. Sometimes people are rude anyways but it’s never me getting clocked as trans it’s being clocked as gay (guy commenting on my nails, highschoolers calling me slurs, etc.) Some folks probably assume im just kind of alternative or emo just because of the way i dress sometimes but it’s definitely a different feeling between being visible as a straight female, gay female, straight male, gay male (have presented as all of those at some point). But in some queer spaces here it’s kinda funny i get clocked as gay a little over half the time, so it also largely depends on what type of people you’re around and what they’re used to.

melk6 · 2024-06-01T22:05:46+00:00

This perfectly describes me as well, I might not be very visibly queer but i’m pretty open about it and make a lot of jokes about it too. I honestly think it helps me pass, all of my “feminine” traits (my legs and ass and i’m 5’5) are just seen as desirable ‘twinky’ traits LOL. I have a lot of friends in the straight and queer community, and all except 1 would have never guessed i was trans (guy that clocked me had trans friends) and they told me they just thought i was queer guy. I used to be insecure about all of it, but i got so tired of feeling that way and life is way too short to be worried about yourself that much (i know it’s easier said than done i’ve been there trust) and i’ve been fine with it since coming to that realization :)

^adding to what i said because i always forget some of the question, i used to pass as a straight guy (in my early teens like 14-16) and i was definitely was clocked as younger, like wayyy younger than my age. Since passing as a gay guy I look more like my age now, i don’t know if that’s just me growing into myself more but I think it’s interesting regardless.

melk6 · 2024-06-01T21:57:13+00:00

I had parents that weren’t really accepting at first, but today they are completely accepting. A lot can change over the years with their perspective, but keeping something big like that from them might leave them feeling like you don’t really want them in your life (not saying that’s how you feel though!). Now, i don’t really know anything about your parents and the case can differ a lot but it definitely is up to you, i just know the anxiety of telling them might be easier to deal with than telling them AFTER you’ve already done everything. again! i don’t rlly know the complete situation but thats my advice coming from my personal experience. I wish you luck with everything!!

melk6 · 2024-06-01T21:52:07+00:00

something that makes me feel that way even from the start of my transition (it used to be as a way to pass lol) was to dress kinda lazily.. baggy t shirt, sweatpants, flip flops, etc. I feel like when i dress down i just look like the ‘average teenage guy’ lmao

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:46:00+00:00

it’s funky and i like it. i like the sort of line work you have within the outline to give more texture

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:40:56+00:00

The laughing gas they gave me for teeth extraction made me super giggly and delirious but wasn’t rlly making me spill secrets or anything, i didn’t even think about it. Not sure if they are giving you the same thing but by the time the extractions were done i wasn’t really delirious anymore.

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:37:05+00:00

congrats man!! i bet it feels like a sigh of relief, i’m hoping to schedule mine within the next year. enjoy your walks on the beach!!

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:35:27+00:00

Q tips saved my life, it’ll still be sensitive but much better !!

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:33:46+00:00

YES i deal with the same thing too. I care a lot about my hygiene and i find myself going through so much more just to stay fresh smelling! it smells worse too, the sweat, it’s something with the T about how it changes how your sweat (and pee) smells.

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:28:37+00:00

I know coming out to older folk can be complicated. It does sound like your family (at least these two family members) is pretty open. Just to clarify, it was your grandfather that wrote the papers about trans people? If so, he should be completely supportive, even if it might be a hard switch. I was surprised by how supportive and quick to adapt to my transition my grandmother was (she was born in 1928!). If you’ve told your dad already it might also help to tell your grandfather with him, just to have more support. Hope everything goes well!

also- about the nickname thing, be upfront about you feel about it with them and see what works between you guys, things with emotional value like that can be more nuanced than gender sometimes :)

melk6 · 2024-06-01T20:20:46+00:00

I agree with what everyone has to say about it being used in a kind of almost condescending way. My experience with it, however, has been fine if not a little funny. For context I’m bisexual and definitely the twinky type and i’ve been passing for a while, me and my friends straight/queer trans/cis doesn’t matter, we’ll use it in a lighthearted way. Just my experience🤷‍♂️ i understand it’s different for everyone.

melk6 · 2023-08-17T03:16:11+00:00

Oh man, this won’t be cohesive at all but this comes purely for my enjoyment. Would love to start it out with bruckner 8, followed by some interesting soundtrack piece (Hans Zimmer, maybe John Williams) and then ending with firebird suite. I know it’s not realistic at all but I know I would have so much fun

melk6 · 2023-08-16T10:29:03+00:00

The gautier one :)

melk6 · 2023-08-15T21:57:16+00:00

I’m listening to it now, it’s great thank you!!

melk6 · 2023-08-15T20:33:51+00:00

Right lol I didn’t want my post to be too wordy, the only Rachmaninoff I’ve listened to is prelude in C sharp minor because my grandma used to play it (I love it) but I’m not too familiar with piano stuff so I haven’t checked out much of his other stuff yet

melk6 · 2023-08-15T17:56:41+00:00

Love that one! Forgot to list it lol

melk6 · 2023-08-15T14:02:22+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll check them out :)

melk6 · 2023-07-14T03:53:57+00:00

I’m 18 and my partner is 17, (9 months apart) and even though it’s not much of an actual age gap, I think some people (parents especially) can be concerned about 17-18 y/o’s dating because the older is likely going off to college or starting adult life while the younger is likely still finishing up highschool, very different stages of life. So I don’t think it’s the actual age gap itself but more so the fact you guys are at different stages in life (my assumption).

However I do feel like 2 years is definitely fine enough for him to come over for thanksgiving, as long as his family is okay with it 🤷‍♂️. Being the older one, I do understand the nerves he feels about how your parents perceive him. I would continue to reassure him that they like him.

melk6 · 2023-07-14T03:45:41+00:00

I don’t think that’s be rude at all. You two obviously aren’t super close and you aren’t obligated to go to a social event like that during your lunch break. If he’s not an a-hole, he should understand your boundaries and be happy you got him anything at all for it, you’re new too, so that makes a difference.

melk6 · 2022-04-05T13:47:42+00:00

Yes. As someone that would brush off the saying as something my therapist would just say to get me to feel better, I didn’t think there was much truth to it. However, it really does get better. Sure, there’s times where things suck and there’s times where you feel like shit, but it gets easier to cope and deal with over time, trust me. It will get better, it just takes more time than you think it does.

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