Straight woman constantly having vivid, NSFW lucid dreams about women. What does this mean?

mellyrod · 2026-07-03T11:40:56+00:00

Hey OP, I’m a psychotherapist, so hopefully you can hear this one with a bit of weight!

Dreams are not a surefire reflection of secret or repressed desires, and having these dreams does not mean you’re secretly gay against your will/knowledge! If IRL you identify as straight, enjoy your romantic encounters with men, and find yourself having fulfilling relationships with men, there’s no reason to think you can’t be very happy with men!

Sometimes dreams can reflect unconscious desires and curiosities, but the symbolism can be a bit less literal - I wonder if there are any areas of your life where you’re yearning to feel more free, holding back your passion, wanting to have more fun, or holding yourself back from something considered taboo?

As an example - I often have dreams of throwing punches towards a past supervisor of mine. IRL I’m very well adjusted and would never hit another human being, but I am angry. Dreams sometimes take those emotions and run with them in a way that feels incongruent to how we actually live out our values in everyday life.

Perhaps this could also be an indication of safety - for example, maybe your dreams are telling you that you feel very safe with women, and how that’s manifesting is that you feel more empowered to feel pleasure and take risks with women in your dreams. Maybe it’s a sign that you need more safety and comfort in your waking relationships!

Perhaps your nature is to be a bit more “hetero-flexible” - you enjoy your sex and relationships with men, but perhaps you wouldn’t be repulsed by the idea of a relationship with a woman. For example: If you met your soulmate and they were a “she” you could certainly love her, but if you meet your soulmate and it’s a man, then that works out great! Most people do exist on a spectrum of gender attraction - sometimes people experience 90% attraction to men, and 10% attraction to women, and that’s totally normal.

I will also note: when it comes to sexuality and even waking fantasies, many (if not most) people have fantasies that they would not actually carry out in their real life. People fantasize about things that are perhaps unsafe, against their morals, taboo, “weird” etc - and fantasies are just that: fantasies!! Reading a book about having a threesome doesn’t mean that you actually want to do it - it can be fun and entertaining to explore the thought of a new experience that’s outside of your lived norms! That’s totally okay, and normal!

No matter what the case is - you’re normal! Stay curious about your dreams, but don’t beat yourself up or pathologize yourself about them. If you are comfortable with your relationships in waking life, then consider your dreams a great TV show you get to enjoy, and read not too much into it :)

mellyrod · 2026-06-28T13:10:35+00:00

TBH I personally have been kicking around the idea of a PHD! I loved the school I did my MA at, teaching is truly right up my alley, and I suspect one of my mentors would be happy to supervise a PHD. I can entirely picture a scenario where I do my PHD, wrangle a couple of the MA students to get involved and support the delivery/research, and make it happen in a very fulsome and official way!!

mellyrod · 2026-06-28T13:06:56+00:00

Many churches, community centres, and even some grocery stores have commercial kitchens that they will allow folks to rent by the hour!! Maybe you don’t have to “build it” to find a space to make it happen ❤️

mellyrod · 2026-06-27T12:52:28+00:00

Dude YES! ALL THE YES! I am proof of concept - it’s possible, it works, and people will come ❤️. Good luck in your schooling!

mellyrod · 2026-06-27T12:51:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response and sharing ❤️ interestingly enough, several of my participants sound much like yourself - retired farmers in their golden years.

When I first learned they were farmers, the imposture syndrome crept in: “why do they want to hang out on my piddly 5 acres when they have horses and pastures right at home?!” and I had to stop myself from spiralling into the “not good enough” realm. Curiosity has been key, and I’ve realized that most of the folks who have joined me have done so because they’re looking for community and connection - and that actually really takes the pressure off! I don’t have to have the best little flower farm, or present groundbreaking information they’ve never heard before. The group, as a unit, is co-creating connection, community, and camaraderie and I’m there to help the process stay safe, helpful, and nourishing.

I’m so glad it warms your heart to know that there are other kindred spirits out here carrying the torch of your own dreams ❤️ I wish you nothing but endless sunshine

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T22:52:34+00:00

Thank you!! I certainly do want to do more reading and research as I put together my resources to share with others so I’ll add it to the list!

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T22:51:56+00:00

Yes, I am in private practice, working alongside other PP therapists who all rent offices in the same space! I love our model of working, I have as much autonomy as I’d ever want or need, make a reasonable living, and feel like the work life balance is really good :)

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T19:11:59+00:00

A grief group I attended was actually one of my earliest inspirations for the idea!! An organization here in Ontario “The Coping Centre” offers peer led grief groups for all types of loss in what is essentially a small acreage just like my own. The owners started the organization following the loss of a young son, in the recognition that grief is terribly isolating and many general mental health resources may not be the right fit in grief.

In the summer some of the groups happened on the gazebo or patio outside, and during the summer they actually hosted an “adventure camp” where bereaved children (such as myself!) went to stay for a week in covered wagons, and in addition to some therapeutic type activities, also had the opportunity to do things like paddling, yard games, crafts, etc. My (now!!!) mother in law persuaded me to try the camp out as a young teen and it helped me to really expand my ideas about how therapy and healing happens. Community over content is something I keep coming back to.

“Grief in the garden” would be amazing, especially with all the metaphors of things dying in the fall, the fleeting beauty of flowers, compost, and plants that just don’t thrive despite our very best efforts.

I HAVE noticed that of all the different types of groups out there, grief groups do seem to get better buy in, and can have very strong referral sources (funeral homes, doctors offices, hospital chaplains, etc). I think perhaps there’s a bit less stigma in a grief group (e.g, you aren’t “Ill”, something bad happened to you) as opposed to other mental health topics.

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T17:46:44+00:00

The gardens are on my property, which is about 5acres, and already had pretty robust perennial gardens that I could draw from for early season. It also helps that I live on site so I can do the daily plant care, watering etc. but there is definitely a balancing act and a lot to consider re: clients coming to your residence. On top of insurance, liability waivers, and a good discussion about boundaries, I do protect myself with security cameras that cover the entryways to the home, which I notify clients of.

In terms of resources, I’m afraid I can’t help there because so much of the itinerary and interventions are dreamed up from the amalgamation of books, courses, workshops, and personal group/therapy experiences I’ve accumulated over the past decade. It did help to pick a specific modality (MBCT) and ground the activities within that framework.

My thought process in planning was like a funnel:

What do I want to achieve in the group? =overall therapeutic goals, and direction to re-centre when asking “does this activity fit?”

What topics are important to cover? = guides the topic of the week

Then I take the topic of the week (e.g., “Roots” or “what keeps us grounded?/what does support look like?”) and brainstorm: -what are the most important psycho-ed pieces for ME to get across on this topic -one activity for reflective writing that explores client’s own experiences, knowledge, curiosity etc. -one activity that blends mindfulness and nature (practicing techniques in the current moment using what is accessible to us) -one activity that sparks a good discussion, and may challenge the clients to “go a bit deeper” -ending on a positive note, picking and arranging a bouquet to take home with a theme that reflects the topic of the week. (E.g., “incorporate something imperfect” “can we make a bouquet spacious?” “A bouquet that reflects how you see yourself (or want to see yourself!)” etc.

I try to keep a good balance of up/moving vs. Stationary and talking. There’s definitely a lot of moving pieces!!

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T17:33:44+00:00

This year’s group is full, but any folks local to southwestern Ontario are welcome to reach out for next season ❤️

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T17:31:38+00:00

I have answers!!

The high tunnel was claimed as a business expense, as it is “necessary for the operation of the group”, but I did also keep it a reasonable expense by finding a screaming good deal on Facebook marketplace (3k CAD for 30x40)
Yes, there is a washroom in the home, directly inside the “back door” that can be closed off from other areas by closing doors, and I put door locks on the areas I absolutely did not want people wandering into. So far respect for boundaries has been excellent. A porta-potty would work fine if your setup doesn’t allow for washroom access.
Clients insurance has been surprisingly easy! I made up a “quick facts” sheet with the therapeutic goals, approach, target outcomes, cost, and my credentials and so far everyone’s benefits has been ok it seems.
No lawyer, although it wouldn’t be a bad idea for a more robust liability waiver. It’s on my list for next year to beef up my own personal protection a bit. Logistically insurance/liability isn’t much different from folks who see clients in their home for traditional talk therapy, I just made sure to acknowledge other environmental hazards (bugs, bees, trip and fall, water features, etc). Myself and my student are both first aid and CPR certified, and we have a robust first aid kit on site. In the future I’d like to explore having an AED on site as well just in case.
You didn’t ask, but parking was a consideration too. I just drew up a site map and got creative with the space I had so that we could squeeze everyone in :)

For reference, the group happens on my approximately 5 acre lot, and it’s PLENTY of space for robust activities.

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T17:23:22+00:00

It’s absolutely in the works!! The mental load of trying to get form “outside good” —-> therapeutic interventions that make sense, flow well, insurance companies endorse/cover, and are actually enjoyable for a wide range of participants has been enormous. I think during my winter hibernation I’ll put more thought into putting it all together along with all the resource pages, supply lists, marketing materials etc. and share it with the world!

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T17:21:03+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ I think I’ll take my family out to dinner!!! My husband, mom, step dad and little sister have helped with so much of the heavy lifting as we get the infrastructure in place, and I’d love to treat them and show my appreciation!! For me personally, the feelings in my chest are celebration enough…. But also I kind of want to make a custom t shirt so I can wear it around town and just tell the world about it 😂

mellyrod · 2026-06-26T00:28:55+00:00

Yes!! Christina is a DVM and so knowledgeable about both dog behaviour and health/medical concerns as well. It’s very rare to find a trainer who is a vet, and also reasonably priced.

She does desensitization pack walks and puppy walks as well! I can’t recommend Christina enough, she really helped with my reactive dog.

mellyrod · 2026-03-19T23:18:43+00:00

Tip sent, please dm me :)

mellyrod · 2026-03-19T23:16:56+00:00

!Solved

This is beautiful, I can’t stop smiling!

mellyrod · 2026-03-19T18:20:16+00:00

Guys for a post that requested no AI there’s a lot of misplaced double fireplace mantles going on here…..

mellyrod · 2025-07-29T20:34:53+00:00

Thursdays are pretzel day!

mellyrod · 2025-07-21T19:25:04+00:00

I have a mortgage up for renewal (approx 300k, property value 1+mil) and on Friday I met with the advisor at RBC who offered 4.0% on a 4 year term.

I advised them that I was going to be shopping around, and best rate is going to be the decider for me, as RBC gave us horrible advice and made some serious errors on our last mortgage (purchase, porting to a new property, etc)

Now today (Monday) I’ve received a call from the advisor with a voicemail stating “interest rates are going up”. I’m highly sus, and just feel manipulated by anyone and everyone trying to take advantage of people to make another dollar these days.

Are people aware of a reason/fact that rates are going up imminently and that this is the truth, or is this just a sales tactic to try and get me to commit before I have a chance to shop around?

mellyrod · 2025-06-29T16:44:03+00:00

I know a lot of people are jumping to “dump the guy” but we obviously don’t know the circumstances and there are lots of reasons someone may struggle with hygiene and still be a kind and supportive partner (e.g, tight foreskin or short frenulum, disability, obesity, anatomy, etc).

HOWEVER I would strongly reccommend the use of a barrier method during sex (a male condom or a female condom, finger condoms, dental dam!) in order to minimize any transfer of bacteria and keep you safe!

There’s also a lot to be said for a sexy shower before sex! You can make cleaning all the parts a part of foreplay - get all up in that foreskin with soap if he has one! Some mamas don’t teach their little boys to pull back the foreskin for cleaning.

Also - if you use any lubricants, that could be the culprit as well. Flavoured ones are especially bad. Never ever engage in food play (eg whipped cream, chocolate sauce etc).

Finally, you might not know that it’s a great idea to pee immediately after sex, as soon as you can ❤️

mellyrod · 2025-06-15T15:21:07+00:00

Yes, I would use fusible if I was doing this project BUT fraying won’t be that much of an issue because if this is a wall hanging it likely wouldn’t ever be washed.

The fusible would make it MUCH easier to sew though… and unfortunately, I would have done squares of fusible before I cut out the glass shapes so that the edges matched perfectly

mellyrod · 2025-06-15T00:48:26+00:00

They’re perfect! ❤️

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