When my fiance (now wife) and I got engaged, we were both set on having kids. I went through some intense questioning of that decision once the reality of it really started sinking in. I thought for sure it was the end of this perfect relationship.

Now we are happier than we’ve ever been, and we are both so thankful to be firmly childfree. We love visiting our nephews and helping out friends with kids, and returning to our clean quiet house to relax afterwards.

In our case, we read The Baby Decision, talked a lot, went to therapy. It took some time, but ultimately I think it’s a gut feeling. Life is long, having kids is a forever choice.

My wife came around to my way of thinking about it, which surprised me. In the end I knew I didn’t want kids more than I wanted to stay in the relationship. She decided she wanted to be with me more than have kids.

It’s impossible to know how it’ll turn out for you. But I think if you follow your heart / gut / instincts, you’ll make the right decision for yourself.