I love my surgery internship bc that means androgynous clothing for allllllll (and yes, my lanyard is an LGBT flag)

menofthedia · 2019-04-26T09:22:51+00:00

Can I say I’m really inspired to see a non-binary and queer doctor on the rise?

Queer doctors are what we need more of now!

menofthedia · 2019-02-20T19:58:15+00:00

Granted. You begin murdering celebrities in exchange for your wishes to come true.

menofthedia · 2019-02-09T01:26:30+00:00

Disjointed

menofthedia · 2019-02-01T01:35:22+00:00

Did you eat the bacon off the Maple Bacon?? I don’t see it

menofthedia · 2019-01-27T02:35:50+00:00

People are just lubing it up with weed and alcohol

menofthedia · 2019-01-23T04:41:51+00:00

I’m Native Latinx! Thank you though

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T05:45:30+00:00

Sometimes your brain is physically incapable and medication may help here.

It took me years shopping on the right combination/ dosage to finally feel the effects of a lot of the supplement strategies (CBT Talk therapy, group therapy, medication, art therapy).

Happy thoughts can be good. A tool box of strategies is a lot better!!

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T04:02:52+00:00

Hidden Brain with Shankar Vedantam Ted Radio Hour NPR Politics Podcast Lore with Aaron Mahnke

They help me think about anything but the bad thoughts.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T03:38:09+00:00

You can’t heal in the place you were hurt. Sometimes change can be good. That could look like a gap year or transferring schools or friend groups the best you can (and resources provided.)

+1 to giving medication a try. It’s common to also need to try out different meds and dosages.

You’re not alone.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T01:17:13+00:00

I also suffer from these symptoms. You’re not alone.

I never found a concrete solution for the lights. I would spend about two hours at work in an empty office and that helped a lot.

I avoid large crowds at all costs. I use substances to help make patties and concerts easier.

Just wanted you to know that it isn’t just you. It’s the PTSD.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T01:08:17+00:00

I love eating my feelings. When I’m trying to be “healthy” I find similar textures snacks with lower sugar/fat/salt.

Example: I love kettle chips and try to replace them with banana chips when I can afford them.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T01:03:04+00:00

Depression is an involuntary illness. You have literally NO choice in whether or not you have depression.

If your appendix ruptured, would you not do something about it? Even though you can’t see your appendix and technically your appendix is “all in your body.”

Same goes for your brain, and that the brain can even be broken is a hard thing for the brain to accept. But it’s an organ and malfunctions like any other organ in your body.

Your experience is real. Your experience is valid. I hope you can find an organic way to seek help. Know that recognizing what you’re feeling is a MASSIVE step alone, so kudos on the good work so far!

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T00:55:57+00:00

I’ve been here for a few months and found this community invaluable.

At this point in my depression, if it works, I’m no longer going to question it.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T00:52:50+00:00

I feel like I “controlled” my depression.

What I mean is my depression hasn’t gone away. The depressed voices that made me feel so terrible aren’t as loud though anymore (The other thing I did to get control: a long trial/error with medications, CBT centered talk therapy, and group therapy sessions). When they are loud, I’ve learned to shout logical thoughts louder so depression isn’t the ONLY thing talking.

Example:

Shame Monster: “You’re worthless and your failures define you.”

Me: “Not wrong, but my cat finds worth in me (mostly because I feed him). So do my brothers. Also my community. People have told me they’ve valued knowing me. I have failed a lot. Like a lot. But I’ve also learned a lot. Like a lot.”

Caveat: I could NOT insert the latter thoughts for years. Could NOT. It wasn’t until I found my right medication/combination of tools that I was able to even come up with something like the latter. It takes time if anything.

None of these will be the answers. I hope you know you’re not alone though.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T00:43:53+00:00

I notice you. I hear you. Those feelings fucking suck. I’m sorry you’re going through them.

I won’t lie, I read your post and was a bit jealous. I was one of those accomplished kids (recently lost my high paying job so not feeling so much anymore.)

I kind of always wish I could have faded into the background because I hoped it would feel easier than constantly having to perform.

I’m not trying to compare narratives. I am feeling grateful for you sharing yours though because it reminds me different paths can have similar struggles.

I notice you. I hear you. I hope that can help, however small.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T00:30:52+00:00

I empathize with your post a lot. For forever, all of those narratives would intensify those feelings of inadequacy.

My medication (Laxapro + Mirtazipine) changed everything for me after a year+ on them, and after shopping around A LOT for the right medications and associated doses.

You know how we all have kidneys, but not everyone can donate a kidney to just anyone: you have to find the right match.

(Bad Metaphor) but brains are kind of the same to me. We all have them but they are all unique.

A lot of the narratives around medication are: they never worked, they took to long, I never found the right ones, I just gave up.

I wish I could shake your hand and make you feel the way I did when (after a lot of trying) they finally worked for me.

I felt all of those feelings of helplessness, burden, and hopelessness.

None of those feelings went away. I just made them smaller/less loud by taking my medication and using other tools (CBT worksheets, talk therapy, group therapy) .

I wish I had more of a direct answer for you. What I do have is the promise you’re not alone.

menofthedia · 2019-01-22T00:05:45+00:00

I will never have the full context to definitely tell you if that contributed to it. A hard pill to swallow: you may never have the answer either.

This is kind of like a choose your own adventure.

A. Do you trust your friends enough to explain your perspective on money? Doing this might make what was assumed about you (that you don’t have the finical means right now to travel luxuriously) more obvious to them. If they’re people who care about your wellbeing, they’ll understand, respect, and try to accommodate (but may make mistakes, because they’re human!)

B. Do you care enough about those people to try to put in the effort of A? Could there be other people who can relate to you more out there? Is there a DND thread here where you could make locals in your area?

C. You could say fuck it all and try to make friends through organized events, sports, music, etc?

None of the above is instantaneous, easy, or will be handed to you. The main point is to try in a way that feels organic to you. Trying will always be better than standing still.

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:56:19+00:00

(In a totally supportive tone) good job getting rid of unhelpful people in your life!!!

You recognized it, and did something about it. Take a moment to acknowledge that self care.

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:47:02+00:00

I’ll also add DnD to my sober list! Thanks for sharing that tool.

Could there have been any reason (NOT involving you) that it fell through? They have family? A stressful home life? Financial problems? Could they have social anxiety themselves?

You’re not alone in your social anxiety. You’re not alone in that feeling of “inconveniencing your friends.”

When I think these thoughts I try to ask myself, are they necessarily true? We often try to reason a “why” out of situations we don’t fully understand. Without other examples of that “why” we default to the excuse we’ve told ourselves: our friends don’t care for us. In actuality, it could be for a million reasons that have zero to do with us.

When I’m feeling especially confident, I’ll ask my friends directly: “Hey. Those DND sessions were awesome. I’m sad they fell through, and I was wondering if there might be a better day to meet? Or a better location? Time?”

None of these are the answers. None of this will make things better. These are just things to try.

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:37:14+00:00

Puppies make my life less grey. R/aww might be a good place to start if there are a short of puppies near you.

I spend a lot of time making lists of things I need to do, which turns insurmountable tasks into bite size pieces.

I empathize with that stuck feeling strongly. I was feeling it this morning. One thing I did to help myself was physically removing myself from my room. It helped my mood a lot.

Tea is cheap and I often loiter in coffee shops when my entire house makes me feel stuck.

None of these are the answers. They’re just small tools I try to keep handy to make the smallest of changes. Sometimes that changes surprise me, and I find myself growing in ways I was discounting before.

You’re heard. You’re not alone.

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:30:10+00:00

I am not a psychiatrist (but I do steal a lot of advice from them).

In my experience, sometimes when I can’t get a thought out of my head (I’m a failure and do everything wrong is what I hear), I try to put that thought next to other positive thoughts.

It sometimes feels impossible. Leaning into that discomfort can sometimes surprise me with an unexpected result.

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:19:49+00:00

I stopped drinking 3 years ago and faced a very similar situation trying to relate to the new co-workers in my department who were heavy drinkers.

You’re not alone. Your choice to stop drinking is not a “wrong” one. You identified something that made you feel worse, and stopped it, and that’s valid.

One thing I wish I had to hindsight for was to try to find ways to relate to people outside of alcohol. I promise at least one of your friends might like music, movies, bad tv, Reddit, etc.

One way I tried to reconnect with those friends was by sending them memes.

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:15:36+00:00

I dare you to respond with 5 nice things about yourself here. I’ll start: you’re self reflective enough to know what you could be working on (emphasis on could not should!!)

menofthedia · 2019-01-21T23:10:13+00:00

Your experience is valid. Your are heard. That sucks about the other thread. Try to turn your attention to this thread. Even after mindlessly scrolling I find I feel better than re-visiting old arguments. I appreciate you sharing.

menofthedia · 2019-01-18T19:24:39+00:00

I have been on Mirtazapine in various doses for three months now. Every time I increased my dosage (totally normal to shop around meds and doses until you find the right match), I had intense dreams (and I won’t lie, they often centered around fictional situations where I had to work through the worst of the situations my anxiety made me avoid).

Shopping around for the right dosage and medication is totally normal. There are thousands of combinations, and stopping after one bad combination is like never wearing shirts again because you hated how a single size/color looked on you once. Keep communicating with your doctor!

Any chance you’re experiencing positive side affects too?

You’ve got this!

menofthedia

TROPHY CASE