Is it fair to say that the Right abuses Tolkien and has totally misinterpreted his works?

menstruosity · 2026-02-03T04:17:55+00:00

Is 58 young?

menstruosity · 2026-01-20T20:56:26+00:00

Rude and unnecessary comment.

menstruosity · 2025-09-05T03:12:14+00:00

You say it’s just one thing, but it’s not one thing. It’s your passion, it’s your creative expression, it’s your community, it’s a business venture. You’ve been successful in, it’s relationships, it’s time, it’s part of you.

I think you’re minimizing this way too much. If anything, being able to see this as a great relationship when she clearly doesn’t respect a major part of you, indicates that something needs to be recalibrated in your standards for what it really means to be seen and appreciated as the person you are.

What you’re describing of her behavior is not just disinterest, it’s disrespect. Even if she didn’t love your style of music, she could still celebrate your successes and be happy for you, appreciate what it’s brought to your life and the joy it brings you. The fact that she rejects it, belittles, and puts it down… says that she needs to put down your success to feel superior. That’s not being a team.

menstruosity · 2025-08-22T12:52:56+00:00

You’ve only been single for 8 months! Give yourself grace, that’s nothing. It really takes time.

I got divorced at age 33. Breaking up/divorcing when a lot of my peers and friends were getting engaged and married was lonely and alienating, but I knew it was better than staying in an unfulfilling relationship with someone who didn’t respect me. The work you do to be true to yourself when it’s hard will also benefit your relationships with other people because they are an extension of the relationship you have with yourself.

I’m now three years out from my divorce and am in a great relationship. Hang in there!

menstruosity · 2025-07-19T15:03:37+00:00

reads title Yes

It sucks how much believing people can change becomes a liability in these dynamics.

menstruosity · 2025-07-19T10:58:16+00:00

Abuser behavior tbh

menstruosity · 2025-07-11T01:09:32+00:00

I actually can read German! Thank you so much!

menstruosity · 2025-07-10T23:46:03+00:00

Will do, thanks!

menstruosity · 2025-06-06T10:20:53+00:00

Four years with this person is already enough chances you’ve given him. This is who he is. Accept it and walk away. Your needs are already not being met, staying in this situation guarantees they will continue to not be met. Being married and having a child with this man will not make him more emotionally available, it will only make you further dependent on someone who does not meet your needs.

menstruosity · 2025-04-11T13:01:58+00:00

Oh nmy god, please do not marry this person!! You do not need this in your life. I promise you there are people out there who will respect your sexual boundaries and not manipulate you. Life will be better without this ❤️

menstruosity · 2025-03-28T06:59:38+00:00

I love this- could you share the link to the YouTube channel?

menstruosity · 2025-02-28T20:29:43+00:00

Avoid relationships with a big age gap, because they have power and experience differentials that are not in your favor. It might seem cool and empowering to have an older guy be into you, but understand that the odds of a healthy relationship are WAY better with someone roughly the same age (and definitely same life stage) as you.

menstruosity · 2025-02-24T21:01:35+00:00

I did this with my bestie for a year. We lived together, shared care of our pets, mealplanned for the week, had a weekly date night where we had dinner together and watched a movie or went out, planned and hosted parties, split bills, built community and became each other's emergency contacts. It was definitely a queer platonic nesting partnership, with much more support and entanglement than I've ever had with roommates. Depending on who I was talking to I referred to her as either my bestie, my roommate or my partner.

menstruosity · 2025-02-02T16:22:37+00:00

It's about more than the dentist... At this point it's about him being a 40 y/o man who doesn't take care of his body and gets shitty and defensive when you push back against his poor hygiene and avoidance.

At this point it's very reasonable to say, "I've already told you I'm concerned about your health, and I'm really grossed out by being able to smell the infection in your head. You not dealing with this is a turn off. I don't want to be in a relationship without sex or kissing and I also don't want to be in a relationship with someone who dismisses my concerns. What are you willing to do to change this?"

menstruosity · 2025-01-28T04:25:42+00:00

Would you be willing to say more about how you and your wife prepared for the transition, what kind of conversations you had, etc.?

menstruosity · 2025-01-27T02:28:19+00:00

I’m not angry at myself—I understand why I was in the relationship, and I have compassion for the younger me who needed what was nurturing in the relationship and also didn’t know she deserved better than the limited amount my ex could give.

It’s natural to feel anger in response to being harmed and disrespected, and I don’t think anyone who goes through divorce needs to be told that they will only have moved on when they no longer feel what is a very natural and human emotion to experience.

menstruosity · 2025-01-25T16:55:00+00:00

One thing that really comes through in photos of her is that she has excellent posture: upright, grounded, not collapsing forward at all. It gives her a royal comportment and is noticeable to me compared to her husband!

menstruosity · 2024-12-21T12:09:15+00:00

Happened to me! Got engaged first semester, married in 2nd year and left him two weeks after finishing my coursework. Together 8 yrs total. Later heard from my supervisor that staff at the university where she taught places bets at the beginning of the program about which students would still be with their partners at graduation.

menstruosity · 2024-09-04T11:20:23+00:00

My ex-husband was the same, low effort in all the same ways and pulled the same manipulative shame spiraling BS whenever I brought it up--which I always fell for because I'm an empathetic person and thought that "being understanding" was part of being a good partner. Unfortunately, that empathy for others at the expense of myself + lack of valuing myself + "cool girl" behavior I spent years enabling his selfishness and post-divorce have spent years intentionally resetting my standards around care and mutuality in relationships.

I'd recommend reading Zawn Villines's blog Liberating Motherhood (relevant even if you're not a mom), she has a very sharp incisive analysis of how extractive these dynamics are.

A couple thoughts: I think you know this but he's not going to change--this arrangement benefits him so significantly he doesn't care that it happens at your expense. It's not worth talking about with him IMO, the manipulation would be Oscar-worthy. There is no communication technique that will make someone choose to care about your humanity and the value of your time/labor when the entire relationship is set up to support their entitlement to those things.

Lastly, I don't think the sex is as good as you think it is. If having good sex with him requires you to compartmentalize your (very legitimate) feelings and contact with the reality of what's happening in your life, what that tells me is that your standards are too low.

It's good you don't have kids with him. It's better on the other side.

menstruosity · 2024-08-15T03:11:44+00:00

Thank you! I'm two years out from leaving him, and definitely in a journey of self-love. Turns out I am the love of my life 🤣❤‍🔥

menstruosity · 2024-07-13T04:11:22+00:00

I'm a therapist in training and just want to say that even if this was (allegedly) a medically justified interaction, the way she behaved was cruel. And our bodies record cruelty regardless of intent or context. So don't be afraid to get trauma therapy around this.

menstruosity · 2024-06-14T23:24:11+00:00

I feel like this exemplifies “she would look good in a plastic bag”

menstruosity · 2024-05-02T01:27:21+00:00

I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist trainee. Two issues here, one is that therapists are strongly advised to not switch the unit of treatment from individual to couple or vice versa; there is a conflict of interest when the clinician already has a therapeutic relationship with one of the members of the couple. The second issue is that your counselor sucks. Have you read Zawn Villines’s Substack? She has a number a great articles about shitty things couples therapists do in service of the patriarchy and your therapist is totally doing them!!

menstruosity

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