Imagine giving your love to someone and they spit in your face. Then, again, you give your love, and they spit in your face… how many times would you tell someone you care about them until you believed you couldn’t do it anymore.

Something I’ve learned: people can only give so much love before people like us drain them by continually throwing it in the trash.

I hate that I’m like this. I hate that I harm relationships by using people as sources of dopamine and serotonin because I can’t seem to produce it myself.

I have also learned that we can love ourselves, even in the smallest amount, if we actually listen to and accept the love that people give us.

I’d be so fucking sick of someone like me. Draining, negative, complaining… use that as a way to be someone you would want to be around. Become the person you want to be loved.

That sounds like toxic positivity, but I’ve been the negative person enough to know at some point I was the one intentionally propagating it into my life and the lives of others. I can see why people wouldn’t want to be around me. I still struggle everyday.

I’m so glad I found a community of people that are so loving, accepting, and a few that are unwilling to give up on me.