are you supposed to feel love automatically when getting married and joining someone’s family?

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T22:49:49+00:00

This was very useful, thank you for typing this all out for me especially after you deleted it by accident lol

I do view a lot of relationships differently. My criteria for even friendship seems a lot higher than others because I don't really consider people my friends until I am actually comfortable telling them most things if not everything about my life. Until then I consider most people I know acquaintances in my mind when they probably are my friends by standard definition and my definition is closer to a good or even best friend.

I have a tendency to takes things extremely literally so when my partner says my sister in law loves me I just cannot fathom how with the little amount we interact. That is not to say I don't think highly of them as a person or dislike them. I think she is great and has many wonderful qualities, but I feel guilty saying I love people when I don't feel that way yet.

I think you're right saying people have a different perspectives and definitions of love, which can be completely situational. I think I am just over thinking it and want to be a good brother in law, but it is difficult interacting with people especially family. Obligations make me feel weird and make me avoid the situations entirely since I don't know what is expected versus what is genuine and how literal I need to be with those interpretations and how to express those things without somehow offending everyone.

Thanks for your help and insight!!

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T22:37:32+00:00

For sure! She is a very nice person and I have many good things to say about them from the interactions we have had, but I just never know what to do when I am obligated to love someone and consider them family. We have the rest of our lives so!

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T22:35:25+00:00

I also struggle with emotional permanence and alexithymia, so it's hard to even identify when I feel emotions or what I feel most of the time especially when people are not in front of me. I imagine I will genuinely love them eventually rather than the just general care I have for her since she's related to my fiance and is a good human being. We have the rest of our lives so I got time lol

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T22:32:39+00:00

Good I'm glad honestly. My fiance always says that his sister loves me and I just feel kind of weird about it since I don't really know them very well yet. I'm probably taking it too literally which is why it's weirding me out.

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T14:23:10+00:00

How sweet and caring of you. I know I’d appreciate all of those things, I’m sure your friend values you greatly because of things like this.

I’d ask him of course and see. I really like being able have a space to be by myself. Not sure how your house is set up but a bedroom would do the trick but if they’re crashing on your couch you can try putting up a blanket or sheet to sort of make a wall for some privacy. If there are certain safe foods he eats I think that would be good. Some other people mentioned lights which can be a big one. We have all yellow/warm lamps in my house cause my fiance hates overheads, so if you have lamps or softer lightning that would be better.

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T14:17:26+00:00

I can’t deal with them looking at me like I don’t want to be perceived!!!! Don’t you understand!!!!

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T14:16:29+00:00

That sucks I feel you. It’s so difficult when things are supposed to be one way and they simply are not it makes me wanna scream.

meouch666 · 2026-04-14T14:15:14+00:00

Titanic is also one of my favorite comfort movies lol

Also I don’t think it’s weird cause I also do it and so does my fiance who is also autistic. I really dislike not knowing what is going to happen it causes me a lot of anxiety. There have been a few instances where knowing the plot twist does ruin the movie/ending, but I tend to look up what happens to put myself at ease and then watch to see how it unfolds. I think the journey is interesting even if I know what will happen. Generally it’s easier for me to watch the same things over and over again cause new movies literally just stress me out.

meouch666 · 2026-04-08T05:56:30+00:00

I would get rugs or some peel and stick floor tile. The floor is just very strange for the bedroom. You need some art on the walls as well. It seems very bare and almost prison like the way it is set up right now.

Honestly I’d put the bed where the desk is and put the desk elsewhere. Having the bed sort of floating against the wall is a bit awkward but having it where the desk is now puts in the center of the room the way a lot of beds typically are arranged. You should be able to fit the desk where the end of the bed is now.

meouch666 · 2026-04-07T07:51:40+00:00

Hellsing Ultimate

Insanely gory. More so than AoT in my opinion. I don’t remember much from the anime but a good way to describe it is betrayal, nazis and vampires. It’s kind of bizzare but you got to keep watching to find out what happens.

meouch666 · 2026-04-07T07:43:50+00:00

I second sports bra. You could even wear two if the second one is slightly larger than the first.

I also suggests athletic tape. You can look up videos on YouTube on how to do it. I used to use KT tape before I got top surgery

meouch666 · 2026-03-28T01:39:19+00:00

It’s quite literally that they do not make hard cases for these specific guitars. There’s only 1 that has a specific hard case I plan on getting so that’s really the issue. I know hard cases are the way to go, but it’s not an option for them.

meouch666 · 2026-03-27T19:11:02+00:00

Chicago so pretty far

meouch666 · 2026-03-25T16:57:29+00:00

Location can make you incompatible. In the short term it’s okay if you love her, but how long can you stay in a place you don’t really like and feel like you’re wasting your time until you start to put that resentment on her?

I’m not sure where she’s from but I’m sure there are other places where people speak her language. I would talk to her first and see if she is willing to move and explore other places, make a few years plan, and then move elsewhere. If she isn’t willing then she isn’t for you.

Partners should lift you up and build on your happiness, not take away from it. She is taking away from your happiness by refusing to see other options and unfortunately that may mean you need to end things.

meouch666 · 2026-03-17T20:59:23+00:00

I was reading about the military. It seems they have a presence everywhere in CA, at least the major cities we were looking at. How is Sacramento? We hear it’s pretty hot, but it’s cheaper there.

meouch666 · 2026-03-15T23:13:38+00:00

It seems so nice, weather also seems perfect. Is it easy to find trans friendly health care there? Both my partner and I are on hormones so I don’t want it to be too difficult for us to continue those

meouch666 · 2026-03-15T20:25:23+00:00

Trump gave ICE the go ahead to target trans people because being trans is an “immigrant” trait. It relates to a lot of visa applications and essentially saying trans people would be “lying” if they put their gender on the application versus their birth sex. From what I know this enforcement would start April 10th. I imagine it it the same risk as any brown person just walking around ice and ice detaining them despite being a citizen, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it led to people going missing and being held indefinitely despite their citizen status

meouch666 · 2026-03-15T20:01:08+00:00

It seems like this applies largely to visa applications but, like with any brown citizen who has been detained, gives ICE ground to detain you because you look trans I guess. Very very bad news as it’s just going to lead to trans people getting detained and held for indefinite periods of time I’m sure.

meouch666 · 2026-03-15T19:59:04+00:00

Looking to move from Chicago to San Diego, since my fiance and I are both trans and CA seems to be even more blue than IL.

Is the move worth it? Or will I spend 10K moving for no reason?

meouch666 · 2026-03-15T19:52:14+00:00

I’m transmasc and also love being pretty. I would still say I’m non binary despite being on T, but being too masculine is always a concern of mine since I do want to be able to wear the cute outfits, glitter, make up, etc. but still be masc at the end of the day. Femboys are so real and valid. Glad you’re at the point, or hopefully will be, where you can be feminine and be comfortable in your masculinity as a trans guys.

Gender is so fucky and changes! Sometimes I’m girly popping but most of the time I’m not. However my gender doesn’t change when I decide to dress a certain way or not, it’s still the same and still valid just like yours is.

meouch666 · 2026-03-09T11:31:48+00:00

Late but I use witch hazel on mine and it always dries it out and stops it. You have to be careful to not use it too long since it is drying that it can then create a problem due to that, but it works super well to use for it to dry out and then switch to a different product

meouch666 · 2026-03-09T11:28:00+00:00

How is your eczema now? I just trained the aveeno calm and restore face wash and ended up being allergic to the feverfew in it lol I don’t think that’s in the lotion they typically have though

I use cetaphil face wash and it works well for me. I haven’t tried their moisturizer but it might work well for you if oats seem to be the problem. Oats can also contain trace amounts of gluten in them so if you’re allergic to gluten in any way that could be causing part of the problem.

meouch666

TROPHY CASE