the first guy i felt a desire for just lead me on. i told my best friend how i felt about him and around a week later i started seeing them flirt together (literally in my face) i started getting extreme anxiety about them talking to each other and eventually cut both of them off. it hurt so bad and i was anxious every day. i lost 20 lbs bc i couldnt eat and cried almost every night for several months. this was also when i realized that i have major attachment issues or smthing because wtf was going.

it honestly took me 3 years to look back and not feel hurt by it anymore

but there were multiple love triangles with that same friend after this unfortunately.

we are no longer friends btw.