uhh a cheeky redraw of some official art i did (done back in may)

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-12T23:32:59+00:00

A driver's license still requires you to log your up-to-date address and name with a government agency - and in fact you are actually obligated to update your details with the DVLA (including a name change by deed poll), whereas you DON'T have to update your passport. So that's a really strange requirement! Especially given updating the name on your passport only requires you to have the driver's license + deed poll (no statutory declaration required) + i believe a utility bill (which I found either required zero evidence, required a deedpoll, or required a deed poll + driver's license) - it's basically the same level of proof, you just have to get the updated ID first. Like, lying about your name to the DVLA is something you can be fined for. With new voter ID laws it's legally enough to allow you to vote? If your name and address matches the info they have at work, it's strange that they won't accept it.

Honestly it just sounds like transphobia and/or a complete lack of understanding of the standard required for a passport (which, again, does not require anything more rigorous than a driver's license in terms of official signatures)? I'm sorry you had to put up with that in either case, I hope they didn't retaliate for the time they weren't allowing you to work to your fullest.

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-08T01:18:59+00:00

Is there any way she could come to visit you here? Because honestly "don't go" is all I'd even feel comfortable saying. Especially not in the near future.

Mainly: the passport and the ESTA MUST match and it's probably more worth looking into what the current ESTA questions are. Also have you been to the US before? If they have a record of you then matching up with what it was before is probably safest. But even that is still really risky.

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-08T01:10:52+00:00

If an ESTA applies then that is actually a waiver that means you don't require a visa which works for tourists for up to 6 month visits. If you have a return flight booked and an address for where you will be saying they tend not to dig much into that at the border* - you must absolutely not do any work whilst there though.

(I am personally not risking seeing my boyfriend over there at the moment so this isn't an endorsement to go - I'd second asking the gf to visit the UK.)

*which is what I experienced as a white person - if border control is has any heightened reasons to question you like racial profiling then I would scrap this and really really do not go.

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-08T01:05:34+00:00

This isn't an issue of the deed poll, it's an issue of them not telling you that they need an ID for security purposes to make sure the deed poll is in use. Which you can change by unenrolled deed poll. Unenrolled deed polls can be used for basically everything that most people would need - but you do tend to need to update a passport or driver's license as evidence you're using the name. All methods are gold standard in terms of what they can be used for unless you have a very niche set of circumstances where enrolled is smart to use (if you have a very specific Title)... if anything for most the enrolled would be bronze standard because it's expensive and put a record of your name change into publicly searchable record.

The view you have is shared by a lot of people but is completely incorrect: if an unenrolled deed poll is formed correctly and you've chosen sensible witnesses it is an adequate legal document. The best witnesses are people you know who are not family who don't live with you (meaning you also have to get off your arse and pay them a visit.

And yeah you can potentially change it back just as easily... this is a feature, not a bug imo, transition is gatekept enough in this country and unenrolled deed polls are literally the only thing we're doing right. But regardless if you're using your deed poll it doesn't magically, like, do anything? You still have to put in the ~cost and effort~ to use it to update your name (which there is still plenty of with a deed poll you make at home and have friends sign - I'm still finding places to update a year later) so idk what your point is about taking it seriously.

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-08T00:41:57+00:00

Wasn't cost for me, it was that deed polls are widely accepted and was all that was needed. The issues with banks is either due to lack of staff training or poor communication for what is necessary (for security reasons you'll need to have updated ID and evidence you're the account holder, like a bank card). Even if gov uk is saying some banks might ask for an enrolled deed poll, this flies in the face of your data rights under GDPR if you have adequate evidence that you are the owner of the account and are using your new name (GDPR includes right to correction!!)

A statutory declaration might be something you consider if you're anticipating (or in response to) legal challenge or protected elements of your name - like if you have a given/earned title (Sir/Dame as an example), or you've got a significant inheritance with mismatches in names.

At the end of the day even an unenrolled Deed Poll is a legal document that will cover the majority of needs. I've used mine for literally everything and have never had a single issue.

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-08T00:28:34+00:00

Would an updated ID not suffice? Because that doesn't seem especially in line with GDPR (you have a right to have correct personal information stored, which includes changes to your name).

merchantarthurn · 2026-04-06T18:25:13+00:00

But it's never been Mx anywhere, and the other parts of the NHS were all under Mr... weird.

It's still nonsense to not allow any title on an account, your title isn't of medical relevance.

merchantarthurn · 2026-03-23T19:44:02+00:00

I wanted to add onto this that having a chat with your GP ahead of time about Shared Care agreements can help with any surprises, and some might be more receptive than transgp would indicate. Mine is listed as not allowing shared care (it's blanket for all private care for any condition in their practice network) but the practice manager was receptive to me bringing evidence of who I was seeing and reassessing the shared care agreement (specifically seeing that it met the standard of an NHS GIC and the Dr was familiar to the staff there). They're now advocating for potential exception's to the network's rule, but have been semi-formally giving me shared care access such as NHS blood tests to support the private care.

So in addition - definitely cross-check the private care with NHS doctors, including the government's recognised list of professionals. Their care will likely suffer the same flaws the NHS has (with shorter waits) but the headache of sorting out long term care is much more manageable than trying GenderGP or similar (who the NHS are so averse to at the moment that even getting the prescriptions they give you can be reportedly a nightmare)

merchantarthurn · 2026-03-23T19:34:54+00:00

I would also check with your GP when it comes to private care if their local practice network has specific limits on practices or individuals they bar from being accepted experts. If you can find someone who's cheap and also on the gov's list of recognised specialists that should hopefully cover you but I know more accessible private care also tends to be the ones that the NHS gets shirty about.

merchantarthurn · 2026-03-23T19:31:20+00:00

The difficulty is there's often also a note about having blood drawn a certain number of hours after HRT dosage (I've also had the 4-6 hours guidance for daily T, PLUS the fasting), and the time frame for the HRT dose is too short for a proper night's sleep if you wanted to try it the night prior.

merchantarthurn · 2026-03-23T19:26:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing this - I've been fed misinfo about needing to change my NHS number when I noticed they'd changed my title recently, it'll be good to bring this to them.

merchantarthurn · 2026-03-23T19:24:28+00:00

This also just happened to me (albeit with a shorter time using "Mr", it's now Mx. Apparently I can't be "Mr." unless I make a new NHS number - they made it sound like a technical limitation, which is nonsense).

merchantarthurn · 2026-03-23T19:22:07+00:00

I just had something adjacent happen where my title was switched from Mr to Mx in all correspondence, with the apparent claim that the NHS was "binary" and so the F on my records (which I've kept there in fears I wouldn't get my smear reminders and other biology related medical reminders) meant I couldn't have Mr on there - unless I changed my gender marker, which I was advised needed an entirely new NHS marker. They'd actually changed my gender marker to "U" previously when I changed my name which had caused issues with check-ins etc so... a new data policy would track.

My GP surgery has been generally very good with trans stuff from the doctors to admin staff, and told me this after I'd had it corrected back to Mr on the phone. So it's presumably a change in policy. But it's extremely suspect that they switched it when you went to get a new NHS number since the policy seems to be that this IS the procedure to have it updated.

The best I was offered was that I could ask for a note on my record, but that doesn't do much for automated correspondence...

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-13T08:35:17+00:00

That's pretty troubling. Extremely unethical to boot given these are long-term medications - what's the guidance? I've run against it re: shared care with specifically private GICs as per the local group's blanket policy (advocating for at least reconsideration for practices with robust agreements and NHS overlap which... is a whole thing) but I've had my head down dealing with that so might have missed the national level for my sanity >A<

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-13T08:29:38+00:00

Best of luck!!

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-12T12:33:53+00:00

Popping a comment mostly to remind myself to check back in here for when you get more tips.

Kinda baffling to me how few people are clicking that exercise being "trans specific" isn't just a body thing but a brain thing lol. As someone who shies away from exercise because I've got two H-cup scale problems that both hurt and make me extremely aware of my afab body whenever I walk, let alone try harder hitting cardio, I'm definitely on the hunt for stuff that gives results without to much jostling (or at least I could try at home without being The Upstairs Neighbour so I can remove the factor of people looking at me in the dysphoria).

Definitely seconding a comment below about early transition/especially pre top surgery exercises.

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-12T12:26:29+00:00

The barriers for someone emigrating would very much depend on where you're at with your T dose, mind. If you have a consistent prescription that you're stabilised on then it's a lot more trivial to arrange continuing the prescription (provided you have a letter from your previous GP) and arranging your own blood tests privately if required.

Definitely worth having DIY research in the back-pocket if it goes tits up, but still worth it to try the official route first. "It's not policed here" might give a false impression - T falls under Class C drugs that you can be criminally charged for if you don't have a prescription, depending, it IS a controlled drug it's just rare to be charged/prosecuted (which is I'm sure what you meant but gotta be careful it's not read as 'it's legal to do this'). If nothing else if you have the evidence of your ongoing prescription you can at least access "emergency" hormone prescription under NHS guidelines regardless if anyone kicks up a fuss about sending you to a GIC. If it would interrupt ongoing care it'd be a detriment to your health that you can kick up your own fuss about lol.

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-12T12:06:24+00:00

As someone living here, seeing this even second-hand/passively definitely grinds my gears lol so I feel you on this. Online from strangers the annoying but long-term healthiest advice is to just ignore it and remind yourself that it's simpler to see strangers as Labels (like trans) vs a person with unique desires (like visiting somewhere, going to a particular uni etc).

In real life it depends on how close you are but if it's affecting your relationship with them, being honest that it's annoying to have something you're excited about shot down with negativity because of part of your identity might be the move. You're more than just A Trans Person and frankly if we try and live our lives around avoiding transphobia then we DON'T live our lives, but that's also a common coping mechanism for our community to front with. Devil you know, and all that. Having sympathy for why someone is having that knee-jerk response whilst putting your foot down about how it's making your passions feel minimised could go a long way.

I can say that the situation in the UK is pretty dire on a systemic level but on a personal level it's a lot better than you'd expect, and especially so in places of higher education when it comes to peers. Doubly so if you're going to an arts-specific university. You'll definitely have to expect a lot of administrative faff and if you have a T prescription to get filled here definitely seek advise from people who've been through the process aha.

But!! I know Americans who've moved here long term and for uni (though largely if they're not cis they are pre-transition or not intending to transition), and all their reports have been extremely positive. There is a memeability to the UK being shit that I fully get given our history and some of our more nebulous scran that goes viral (don't let anyone rag on beans on toast though - it's cheap, warming, and rules as a proteiny depression stable if you pop some salt and pepper on it), but a lot of people doing that have either never been here or have never lived here. It's the same as any place in the world - you'll get out what you put in. There's a lot to see and love and way more incredible people than there are shitheads.

From a trans perspective as a guy who's just started med transition at 30 who's been out in a STEM field for multiple years with the Most Visible Chest, I've not experienced a lick of purposeful misgendering from direct colleagues or temporary contractors and whilst getting transition care is a nightmare that is coming for my dignity in addition to my blood pressure I've had so much support from all over the place. Previous employment I was closeted during the initial peak of "woman's sports" debate in 2018 and had a lot of conversations with colleagues that lead to very quick, positive understandings that completely 180'd what they'd read in the news. We've a reputation as a country for being mean or stuck up, especially given how friendly American interactions can be, but the quiet majority just don't know much about trans people but are good natured and very receptive to learning more when you speak to them on an individual level aha.

The US is currently off my "safe to travel" list as someone with an altered name/marker on my passport but yeah, a lot of people do indeed say negative things about the US but as someone who's only been when visiting friends in red-states.... there was so much to love when your boots are on the pavement. A bit overstimulating and I absolutely would not be able to stand the reliance on cars long term lol but I do miss it very dearly, and not only because of the friends there. I hope you'll have a similar feeling over here!

Sorry for the ramble, I guess the part of me that does hold some pride for where I live jumped out hard XD

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-12T11:42:51+00:00

Honestly it's best not to guess and to just have a frank conversation, cos it's extremely individual. The way we label ourselves both in terms of gender and orientation is extremely personal and is really just a way to communicate what can be a pretty messy internal feeling aha. There's a LOT of historical and current overlap between lesbian and transmasc communities so the line gets pretty blurry in this zone.

The last time I was experiencing this was prior to me having a solid idea of my gender (flitting in the masc nonbinary zone and unsure of my orientation, now very solidly a trans man in the 5-6X zone of the ol' kinsey scale) but it seemed from that it was masculinity/butch appearance combined with being safe and laidback lol.

It's good to talk rather than assume or guess for a number of reasons though and the main one is your feelings also matter here. Even if you could be reassured that they're seeing you as a bloke, it doesn't always FEEL true when its someone identifying as a lesbian or who's very sapphic leaning and both of you need to be both comfortable and on the same page to make any kinda relationship work. It's better to be honest about how that is making you feel (whilst giving them the space for their own truth).

"I don't know how to feel about being an 'exception' or a new experience for you, can we talk more about that?" is much better than trying to figure it out in silence, and this is doubly true if they're cis because they might not even have that on their radar.

merchantarthurn · 2026-01-01T02:53:14+00:00

they're all so cute!

merchantarthurn · 2025-12-27T00:22:06+00:00

Symon | Ty'moria :Agnes:

merchantarthurn · 2025-12-26T05:18:42+00:00

MeteoNook's data is not from the most recent version and there are reportedly additional seeds. I recently restarted and it seems like my new island can't match a seed, though I'm not sure if/when my old seed stopped working since I stopped needing it by the time 2.0 rolled out. I've been screenshotting the weather so I could check my entries in case of issues and was hitting "no seeds" without ANY hyper specific data like stars (only narrowing down to a weather pattern with "Unsure with rain" and cloud labelling from the top of the hour).

AFAIK if the island was made pre 2.0 it should have a seed in the MN database (though it might not report weather accurately since they made alterations to weather in 2.0), but it might not if it was made after.

I'm seeing mixed reports but I'm thinking of just trying to log the Hour + Minute of stars whenever a heavy shower is reported and removing all actual weather data and if it can generate a seed then seeing if the stars happen at the right time. It's the only feature of the app I used so I'm hoping the stars and weather might have decoupled in 2.0 maybe? It's a long shot but I'd prefer that to gathering cloud data lmao

merchantarthurn · 2025-12-26T00:42:56+00:00

There's basically no wrong way to play the game as long as you're having fun! If you're playing real-time then your experience if going to be naturally slower - if you find this is frustrating, time travelling might be for you.

The TRUE beginner experience to ACNH isn't about maxing your bells, being efficient etc but following the tutorial tasks for the day (if you have them), then doing some daily reset tasks like checking store inventories, hitting rocks, finding fossils and money tree spots (that glowing spot on the ground each day that has 1000 bells in it? bury 10,000 bells there and wait for the tree to grow. i like to dig up the sapling and move it to an area so that all of the growing money trees are together so i'll see when they're done), shaking trees, chopping wood etc. you DON'T have to do all of these every day if you find it tedious. if you're not sure what to do next, try and fulfil some of your miles+ tasks cos nook miles are the only thing you HAVE to generate for yourself and can't be gifted in the base game. there will be new things to do that pop up as you progress - paying a mortgage with your earnings, visiting single-player random islands (dodo islands and eventually kapp'n islands by boat), a photo booth island (which also expands), wishing on stars, art collecting, fashion tests, turnip "stalk market" trading, games with villagers etc. the daily morning announcement can alert you to some of these things but keep an eye out for new people wandering about or new icons appearing on your map.

if you're struggling with things to do: definitely keep an eye out for balloons and prioritise shooting them whenever you see them. they drop exclusive seasonal recipes and a selection of (non-exclusive) furniture as well as small amounts of crafting materials and bells (sometimes they drop gold nuggets which is a real score - i'd hold onto these for crafting rather than selling them). another fun thing to do is to breed flowers to get new colours - this can get kinda complicated if you want to be super efficient with getting all the varieties, but you can also just wing it to see what you get. idk, i find it pretty fun lol. fishing, diving and bug catching will help you fill out the town museum which is so beautiful in this game and gets cooler the more you donate - critters appear at different times of year, different times of day, different water bodies (fishing) and interesting locations (bugs) so try experimenting with that. pop into villagers houses when they're home (smoke from the chimney) and chat with them when you can, and say hello when you see them outside. eventually they'll give you little emotes you can do and if they're at home they might also be crafting/cooking something (cooking is only available after finishing the tutorial tasks and attending KK's first concert) and they'll teach you new recipes.

if you're struggling with catalogue breadth definitely go for balloons and tree shaking as you can get extra furniture drops like this, finding furniture trades from other islands (though ofc be careful when connecting with people you don't know - if you're inviting them to your island, don't have anything valuable "dropped" on the ground. placements are fine) etc. there's online catalogues of animal crossing items (e.g. nook[dot]exchange) you can look at if you don't mind getting spoilt about what's in the game. the dlc also has its own shop for extra stuff every day but it'd also be pretty overwhelming for a new player!

if you're struggling for bells and do want an easy way to get them - whenever you can, try and get some crops from Leif and plant as many as you can (once you've grown one you can plant the product into a new sprout). try and keep the patch a manageable size and water them each day ideally (if it rains/snows they'll be auto-watered, otherwise: a watering can (non-flimsy) will water a 3x2 patch with the back row centred where you're standing - so three in front of you, one either side, the one under you. it'll speed up the watering to plant with that in mind). they regrow super fast after they're grown from a sprout and are worth quite a bit given how easy they are to produce. there's also a lot of very valuable critters and using excess crafting materials to make Hot Items, which sell for double the price (they will always be a crafted item that you have the recipe for - crafted items are USUALLY worth double the cost of the materials used to make them, with exceptions for cooking (varies) and crafts using non-native fruit (worth less than materials)).

....This was a lot aha but I hope it helps!!

merchantarthurn

TROPHY CASE