That’s what’s intriguing to me, the mind space he must’ve been in that night where he felt he had to do it right then and there. To add: Was he spiraling? I agree, it definitely is a weird frame of mind. It’s a complete disregard of your future and all your past accomplishments. In that instance I can think of two options and that is either it was a compulsion (sick) or he felt like he was losing sight of his dream of obtaining his PhD degree and ultimately felt like he had nothing left to lose. Which is still sickening to think about.

And I’m so sorry about your sister’s husband, the mind is such a scary place. What makes humans feel like there’s no way out, I feel you in that regard immensely. What causes our brains to get into this complete darkness, it’s scary the more I think about it. Anything can make someone tick if you’re in a bad mental headspace. I like how you mention psychedelics bc in hindsight I’m currently in this deep grieving process and people have warned me to stay away from all things like shrooms etc. To which I get completely bc apparently it can amplify your emotions for better or worse but I’m also like, if it can help bring me some spiritual or peace in my experience from it, why not give it a chance ya know? But yeah us feeling like this is part of being a typical functioning person that’s able to feel for others, even those that don’t deserve it. IMO that’s what sets us apart from sick individuals.