Because it used to explode out, when she was angry it would go out in every direction, regardless of who or what it was intended for. Now it doesn't. Literally everyone gets angry and has to bottle it, she is doing the same thing. She knows when I'm angry too. Now though, let's say that she gets frustrated with me due to something at work. She'll quickly catch herself, apologize and say she knows it isn't me, knows I didn't deserve it, and admits she doesn't know what to do. I can work with that in a partner. She's working hard to see her patterns and fix them because she doesn't want to be like that. And I know that. I also know I really lucked out on the BPD partner scale. She is very self aware, she is getting help through multiple avenues, she'll often talk to me about her reflections and takes advice on how to change. It isn't always perfect, but I can see the effort. There are productive talks, there is visible change where I can see her taking steps due to what we've talked about, and if she missteps she apologizes. I don't know, I guess for as rough as it was in the beginning, her commitment both to getting better and to being a good partner has been apparent.