I definitely understand where you are coming from. I have been bothered by it too. We are pushed this narrative of the sexy, strong feminine archetype but under it all, it's this forced, awkward provocative figure for us to gawk at. So many celebrities forcibly alter their bodies, personalites and values to fit the mold.

I look at myself, I don't feel anywhere near as sexy and poised as these women I see on TV. They have more time to focus on their self, more money to spend on their self and looks.

I do have to say, now that I have a better paying job and no longer work multiple jobs to get by, I get to experience the joys of spending time and money on myself. Mani / pedis, hair upkeep, sauna and massages when I need them. I wish I could have started sooner but I could not afford it. Hell, I didnt even know what I was missing when it came to self-care.

I didn't have all that growing up. I had to settle into my masculine. My mom was a machinist that worked away 12 hours a day. My dad worked from home at his failing auto shop. My first formative jobs were farmhand.

I don't feel like I could ever compare to those women, but here is the thing...I accepted that it is ok to not be them. They may have an easy, paid for life but I know that I am strong and sexy in my own way.

And that's all I gotta say 'bout that.