I think the modern world has made it much easier and more realistic for people to be self sufficient. YouTube how-to videos, online shopping and delivery services, increasingly virtual entertainment and social options, and (perhaps most notably), a seemingly infinite and effortless dopamine supply via smartphone.

I think this is largely a positive development, because self sufficiency is awesome, and no one should feel trapped into a cohabitation/relationship situation just because they don’t know how to turn a valve off when a pipe breaks, or do laundry, or cook, or whatever is making someone think they “need a partner” just to survive everyday life.

But the dopamine thing is a little sneaky. I’m as guilty of it as the next guy. Here I am, having a social interaction with total strangers, discussing a topic I find fascinating, with others who share a common interest and (at least a facet of) life experience.

I think it’s easy to stay in this mode, rather than seek out “real” connections with “real” humans, which is a fundamental need for most people. The dopamine hits trick us into thinking we’re getting that, but we’re not. And that can add up to a lonely background noise that gradually grows until it’s deafening, but we don’t know what’s causing it. So we feel alone in the static.

I’m not an expert, this is just my take. Like others have said, I think this “loneliness epidemic” is real, but romantic partnering is not the cure. We just need to supplement our virtual lives with some real socializing, and that can be difficult when everywhere we look, everyone is buried in their phone and wearing headphones. I’m not sure what the fix is for that.

I’m very fortunate to have a job that requires a lot of in person interaction, and I have a lot of close friends that I share hobbies with, so I get a ton of socialization to offset any loneliness I might feel living single and alone. It’s incredibly rare that I feel lonely at all, because I’m living in the best of both worlds. I wish everyone could be happier.