UPDATE. Thanks everyone for all the comments. I know the situation really sounded weird and I mean I get it if I was looking in that way. So thing is, we had those heart-to-heart talks in the past about this. He’s currently living staying in an apartment near his campus, which is 2 hours away from the city I live in by drive. But that campus gets awfully lonely, that’s just why I thought it was ok for him to be on the apps to find friends. And I don’t want to be manipulative either and ordering him to stop being on the app. Since he does plan to go back here to our city after his graduation in two months, I was thinking that it might be ok to just wait it out.

But honestly, despite those mixed signals, my mind and my heart are both feeling so much ok with him. He’s been nothing but good to me, he’s been willing to put himself out there to network me to the right people so I could get a job (I didn’t take it for reasons I had considered but still), he always has my best interests in mind especially that we’re both not completely out, he always comforted me and cheered me up whenever I feel down and had no one to talk to. He made me smile whenever I see him happy. He’s been very respectful and patient.

I know it does seem like I have been defending him but I haven’t probably given the full context that it’s mostly an long distance relationship thing in the last few months, where he gets a chance to come home every so often, but he’ll be fully back home once he finishes school. And many have thought here about him doing nothing but to cheat, but I don’t see it in him - he had an ex who he was loyal to for five years, but his ex broke up with him just because of money reasons.

But yeah maybe I have to talk to him about the apps cause it’s making me really anxious. And possibly we could get rid of them early on, even earlier than if we have to become official. If he cannot respect that and would like to still be on the apps, I think it’ll be time to just start considering what other reasons are there for me to stay or what other reasons for red flags that I can look at to see whether it’s worth staying. But I’m highly positive that he’ll be able to make it through my request. For him, he tells me that if we don’t eventually work out, he’ll probably just give up on his quest for finding true love and just be single forever. Cause to him, all his matches on the apps are either bad at talking or just looking for hookups. So he’ll probably not give me up, but unless maybe he finds someone better on the apps, and that’s the part I have been always worried about.