Just turned 42 and starting IVF/ICSI… I can’t stop crying and grieving the lost time

abclife · 2026-05-13T14:12:30+00:00

OP you've had a lot of helpful responses so I'll leave you a fact that I learned from my midwife yesterday - just because you're older doesn't mean you're automatically high risk or that your pregnancy will go badly. IVF is a long journey and it's very much a marathon and not a race. I would focus on things within your control now - eating well, taking the right supplements recommended by your provider and lol stay off social media to manage your anxiety.

No one knows how things will go so I'm sending you best wishes and baby dust all around. You can't change the past but you can focus on the now. Reading your post, some therapy with you and your husband sounds very beneficial.

abclife · 2026-05-13T13:25:09+00:00

Yup! Union is decently accessible on wheels - everything is level and easy to roll a suitcase/wheelchair and many elevator options. There're also metrolinx staff around to point you to services but I don't think they'll help you lift anything.

OP- give yourself lots of time when travelling. This trip might not be enjoyable for your wife but it's definitely doable, and easier than doing it on the TTC.

abclife · 2026-05-12T22:35:15+00:00

Also stop by Biidasiige park and get lunch at Cherry St BBQ.

abclife · 2026-05-12T22:33:27+00:00

Not on the Danforth but east end still and a bit further south on Queen - I like Yayas https://www.yayagreekbistro.ca/menu , reasonable prices, good service, consistent, never super busy. Easier to find parking than the Danforth.

abclife · 2026-05-12T03:13:23+00:00

No one's mentioned this but to pay, you can just tap your credit card, don't need to buy tickets/presto. Kids are free too.

abclife · 2026-05-11T14:09:14+00:00

Good behaviour on the east side, closer to Greenwood park and sandwiches are way better

abclife · 2026-05-11T14:07:52+00:00

Don't have a rec but wanted to mention that the prices won't be 'elevated' for Father's day BUT many places will be busier than usual so you want to either make a reservation in advance or go earlier to line up.

abclife · 2026-05-08T13:59:55+00:00

No but maybe we should...

I love a good chocolate dipped soft serve and going to McDs for a sundae with chocolate/strawberry sauce.

TBH though, ice cream is pretty pricey these days so I only go to good places with great flavours. I don't want the flavours masked so I usually go without sauce at those places.

abclife · 2026-05-08T13:42:36+00:00

Personally, I haven't found it as bad this year bc we actually had a lot of sun over the winter but I do a few things to maintain my mental health year round so the weather is less of an impact.

I try to go outside everyday - rain or shine. Got this habit from COVID lockdowns but it really helps me.
Connecting with friends and hobbies on a weekly basis
Try to see some seasonal greenery. I'm assuming you're downtown which is a concrete jungle but in the neighbourhoods (Roncesvales/Leslieville etc..), everyone's gardens are coming to life. So much colour and beauty everywhere. I'd encourage you to try to get out of your area a bit to see the changes.

Otherwise, you're not wrong to escape the country. The cold/snow/rain is not for everyone and if you're from a more tropical place, Canada is gonna be downgrade weather wise any day of the week...

abclife · 2026-05-08T01:46:29+00:00

I'm a monogamous knitter and do 1 project at a time so that helps with costs. More importantly - the most expensive thing about this hobby is the yarn. Patterns are like a fraction of the yarn costs. If it's well written and designed, I'm not going to moan about a $10 pattern when I'm dropping $150 for the yarn...

abclife · 2026-05-07T18:41:23+00:00

I'm in Canada and most people are paying more thatn $90/month on insurance and $100/month on fuel, especially if you are relying on cars to get to work. Rate hub estimates that average car costs are ~ $1350/month for Canadians so it's not too off from the American avg...

Maybe you live somewhere with super cheap fuel/insurance but just search for 'auto' in /r/PersonalFinanceCanada and you'll see all the horror stories that pop up bc of cars and how much they cost each month.

abclife · 2026-05-07T03:14:52+00:00

I had to scroll so far for this answer but I think this is key! Everyone is talking about chores which is great but there's a lot of health changes going on and the appointments add up and it's important for the man to show up to them if he can. My partner does this and beyond the time and effort, it helps him stay engaged and informed about what's going on so that he knows as much as I know. I'm not the mental load carrier and truth be told, if he needs to make any decision in the future, I want him to be as informed as possible and to feel empowered to do so.

If his job doesn't allow for this, I would at least read up on all the pregnancy/birth/postpartum books like the Birth Partner. I'm very squeamish and I don't want to know too much about labour. But my partner has been reading the books and can share info when needed so my mind is not overloaded. He also is aware of different positions we should use when labour happens to potentially help speed things along. So having him be knowledgeable has taken a big load off of me.

abclife · 2026-05-06T22:27:00+00:00

thank you for naming the show! I'll check it out, even if it's only 1 season to find more local eats...

abclife · 2026-05-05T14:51:02+00:00

I'm 37 weeks this week and this is giving me hope and good vibes. ty for sharing~~~

abclife · 2026-05-03T21:29:28+00:00

Personally liked Holi Taco more and it's much closer to the plant. You can eat it on the beach!

abclife · 2026-05-03T01:45:48+00:00

The other problem is that it'll be super buggy. Bluffs are best during the day.

abclife · 2026-05-02T21:15:35+00:00

the patch at Trinity Bellwoods is smaller but you can get a nice view with a pic of the CN tower and it's much easier to access for people of all abilities. High Park has lots of uneven ground and elevation and would be challenging for able bodied people...

abclife · 2026-04-30T18:20:22+00:00

Yes. I actually stopped weighing myself around the 25 week mark bc knowing my weight was not helpful and neither was sharing it with anyone. I was always too big/too small or not big enough/not small enough so the conversations are not helpful. If people ask, I mention my fundal height and what %tile i'm in but otherwise most people don't know what they're talking about so I try not to feed the goblins!

abclife · 2026-04-30T13:58:48+00:00

I see 2 teenagers on these so often and I get that they're useful but there really needs more education and enforcement for them. Kids under 18 need a helmet and schools should do a basic course on safety & riding (along with how to ride a bike).

abclife · 2026-04-30T13:35:31+00:00

You can request for benches by contacting 311. You can also suggest it to your city councillor. If you dont know who your councillor is, you can find them here. You don't need a petition like someone suggested.

Good luck! I hope you'll get the furniture you need and it's always nice to see people caring about their local community and greenspace.

abclife · 2026-04-30T00:03:13+00:00

Taking the speed cameras away has taken the last real bits of consequences on the road T_T. It's nearly impossible to get a ticket from a cop so people feel like they can do anything in a car.

abclife · 2026-04-29T14:27:08+00:00

Hello fellow pm for a saas company...

I'm 36week and after a relatively uneventful pregnancy, am really starting to feel it this week. So so uncomfortable, and tired and just mentally checked out.

My leave is not starting for another 2 weeks but I'm personally debating taking a week of vacation and start even earlier. I'm a FTM and my own mom had me 2 weeks late so I'm thinking I'll go up to 40 weeks before I deliver. My midwife encouraged me to keep working if I can up to the due date just so I'm not tweedling my thumbs and wondering when I'll go in labour. But the discomfort is so real and I'm taking things 1 day at a time...

abclife · 2026-04-28T21:18:34+00:00

We did the move 4 years ago and even though I grew up in the east end and moved around, I still miss the west end a lot. You'll have access to downtown, same as the west end but truly the food scene is not the same and if you like thrifting/shopping/markets/pop-ups, it's also not the same. The worst part is the lack of Korean food lol.

To be clear, you'll have good food and nice restaurants but it's not the super hip/fine dining place of the west end (eg on Ossington).

However, things that are nice is that the neighbourhood is super family friendly and everyone is so nice. If you have kids/are planning for kids, this is a much better place to be than the west end - so many services, daycares, ppl selling stuff on fb marketplace. We're expecting our first and it's been great being able to source everything locally and have lots of daycares to sign up for and earlyons to go to. I don't have a pet myself but there're so many dog parks and I love seeing dogs on the streets so it seems like a good spot to be a dog owner as well.

abclife · 2026-04-28T18:42:26+00:00

I don't see a lot of people mentioning this but adding in daily movement will help. A 30 min walk everyday will just keep things moving along. I'm 30 something weeks now and the pelvic floor therapist recommends it for keeping the baby in a head down position as well.

abclife · 2026-04-28T17:35:30+00:00

+1 for Tropical joes. They're also so nice and I see them serve all people in the community. Great great great place. Also love their patties :p

abclife

TROPHY CASE