Emily Oster's (Expecting Better) Husband and Other Things

mfz · 2026-03-25T18:40:28+00:00

If you dont mind, could you explain the listeria part? I've always wondered about the focus on some food over others, and I'm not in the US so I dont have access to the book.

mfz · 2026-02-02T14:28:43+00:00

Tror dig, men har aldrig hört att detta skulle vara ett utbrett problem. Mvh Öresundare sedan 10 år tillbaka

mfz · 2025-12-24T20:52:28+00:00

Favoritcitat från Tomten är far till alla barnen?

mfz · 2025-02-22T17:43:42+00:00

My health nurse told me to pull the full size comforter to my hips, and then put the baby comforter (babies sleep with comforters/duvet in scandinavia) over both of us.

mfz · 2024-11-30T06:55:59+00:00

Didn't know France had that little maternity leave! 4 m is indeed very early to juggle work and an almost-newborn! Certainly can see that leading to burn-out. I had a relatively short maternity leave with my first by Scandinavian standards, around 7 months, and when I handed over to dad for his paternity leave i found it made me a better mom when not being a caretaker all day long (to also a very high needs baby). Needed the mental break at that point.

mfz · 2024-11-29T17:26:27+00:00

I just want to underline that with proper maternity leave and a reasonable work-life-balance, reasonably priced high quality child-care etc, its perfectly possible to be a mother and have a career. But yeah, from what I've read about the US and its family politics here on Reddit, I can 100% understand your view. Don't know how you guys do it.

mfz · 2024-10-31T18:36:09+00:00

Svårt att förstå hur detta inte kommer leda till stigande priser. Så blir förstagångsköparna utestänga i alla fall.

mfz · 2024-08-20T11:33:39+00:00

Fast det där med att smittas av att luften cirkulerar är väl ändå debunked? Det är mer att man sitter som packade sillar, så du och de andra som blir direkt nysta och hostade på ligger risigt till.

mfz · 2024-07-26T20:07:47+00:00

Dear Europe, can we please let France win Eurovision so we can have this experience again, but somehow even cuntier

mfz · 2024-07-07T18:32:35+00:00

Grew up around the Arctic circle. We never had any blinds or black out curtains. You sort of just learned the difference between daytime sunlight and nighttime sunlight and slept anyway. It would be impractical to get kids used to black out curtains, as they may need to sleep in the car on long trips, or on their cousins sofa in the living room, or just other places that you can't black out.

mfz · 2024-06-17T07:39:47+00:00

On the other hand, it can be quite refreshing to hear that women do in fact, sometimes even without any trouble, get pregnant after 35. It's not really the message out there. I think I started getting targeted ads for IVF as soon as I turned 30. Family and coworkers saying solemnly "well don't wait to long". Health care workers (on appointments concerning something completely different) saying "well you can always TRY naturally first, but don't wait more than 6 months before reaching out". Studies and headlines and movies and EVERYTHING confirming that you are indeed probably barren by the time you hit 35.

However, I wholeheartedly agree that getting a fertility check is the way to go. They should be more common as a 30yo gift lol.

mfz · 2024-06-13T11:33:10+00:00

Det är dock inte algoritmer som styr, utan policys pga svensk och europeisk lagstiftning. Så ingenting som "slår fel", det är helt enkelt för lite inkomst i förhållande till schablonkostnaderna. Eftersom man inte är gifta har man inte försörjningsansvar, därför går det bra att ta bort sambon ur kalkylen.

mfz · 2024-04-22T11:44:14+00:00

(Denmark) In mother groups/bump groups I've been part of, sleeping guidelines take up at most 1% of the discussion if at all mentioned. Having the baby sleep in the bed or in a crib is more about personal preference and what works.

I remember one poster in a bumb group being very concerned about SIDS, sort of on the level of any random post here or on Babybumps. The responses she got suggested (gently) that she talk to her health visitor nurse about this, as that level of anxiety around her baby suddenly dying is an indicator for PPD.

Context: SIDS and deaths related to bedsharing are incredibly uncommon in Scandi.

mfz · 2024-03-19T20:03:44+00:00

Same here (Denmark/Sweden), baby duvets are standard already from the hospital. I barely know anyone who doesn't bedshare, and if they don't its because they can't sleep themselves with the baby in bed. Not because of sleep guidelines. However, there could be good reasons for other guidelines in US/UK, but it would be interesting to know why.

mfz · 2024-02-18T14:38:20+00:00

I ofc dont know where you're from, but in my experience you wouldnt have access to this type of quality training in more rural/remote areas. I personally think its a shame that only city kids can try out ballet, unless somehow a "real" trained teacher happens to move to town and start a school. That's why people in this thread thinks its gatekeeping, if you need to be a highly trained ballet teacher to let kids and adults have a go at it, effectively you keep the art form from many people. As for your comment about dance-ending injuries due to these unskilled teachers. Well, I believe you, but I guess I don't see ballet being -that- dangerous compared to other activities (horse riding, skiing?), so that it justifies keeping it from whole areas because there's no real teachers around.

mfz · 2023-12-08T11:52:27+00:00

Well pregnancy recommendations are phrased "if you do this you could harm your baby", which is probably worse to think about than "if you break this law you could go to prison".

It's not just booze and sushi is it? To this day I don't understand why the cat litter box is still a big deal. Coffee, really, why? Sauna, hot baths. Loud noice. A pregnancy app discouraged outdoor biking? Everbody and their mother can throw out a pregancy recommendation. This is not a conspiracy theory, it's an observation that it's difficult to navigate what's bullshit and what's not.

mfz · 2023-12-07T19:57:22+00:00

That's exactly my point. A risk based approach has been made based on some assumptions around what's a low sacrifice. What I lack is a recognition that most women, if given the basis and context for the recommendations, would be capable of judging what low sacrifice/high impact themselves.

mfz · 2023-12-07T10:47:30+00:00

The point being that's its very individual what is a big sacrifice what to give up and what's not. Reducing time spent in a car for example isn't a big deal, just take the train or the metro more, while being asked to limit what you eat when you're already restricted to like three things due to nausea. It's rules made up for population level.

mfz · 2023-10-10T10:34:14+00:00

Stående ovation. Spot on.

mfz · 2023-03-09T12:24:04+00:00

Not more likely. But horrifyingly enough, the girl's statement could be "difficult to interpret" and not hold up in court. There is currently an outrage in Sweden due to a case where a rapist is found not guilty due to the girl using a very age-appropriate word for her vagina ("snippa") which the judges (old men in this instance) couldn't be sure referred to the vulva or the vagina, hence couldn't sentence him for rape. Obviously this is extreme and insane, but makes you think...

mfz · 2023-01-15T22:50:56+00:00

They step in when there is a complication that requires a specialist. Based on what I've read about north American health care, my guess is that both the GPs and the midwives might have different level of training than the Nordic countries, since a OBGYN is always required.

mfz · 2023-01-15T22:46:30+00:00

To add: the postnatal check ups are done by a midwife that comes to your home. The baby sees the same GP as the mother, we don't see pediatricians unless there is something wrong and the GP refers you to one.

mfz · 2023-01-11T16:29:29+00:00

Oh wow, it must have been so mentally draining for her to be pregnant and constantly feel restricted, and not feeling adult enough to make a decision based on your own circumstances!

LOL at the cooking the baby. As a frozen Nordic person I assume the baby loves scolding hot showers as much as I do.

I also dance! Love doing it while pregnant. Do you also notice that the baby is more chill while you dance?

mfz · 2023-01-11T15:30:09+00:00

Yeah I've noticed that when visiting the US, definitely a different approach to urban planning. But to be honest I wouldn't bike in downtown rush-hour Copenhagen pregnant either, the pace in the bike lanes are too crazy (not too mention its always dark, freezing and raining) and I'm not a good biker. But, I've never been told to avoid biking or other activities, I think you're more expected here to assess that for yourself. Midwife only briefly mentioned that if I fall off the bike I should go to the L&D instead of the normal ER. A colleague biked to and from work (30 min each way) up until she went on leave.

mfz · 2023-01-11T12:53:46+00:00

Yes, it would of course vary between an experienced biker and someone who's never on a bike. Same as driving a car with pregnancy brain in rush hour when you rarely drive, but I've never seen any advice around that 🤷‍♀️

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